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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29704941">Shadowsinger</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emilia3546/pseuds/Emilia3546'>Emilia3546</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst and Feels, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Minor Morrigan (ACoTaR)/ Emerie (ACoTaR), POV Azriel (ACoTaR), Shadows - Freeform, Slow Burn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 17:02:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>49,594</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29704941</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emilia3546/pseuds/Emilia3546</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Spoilers for ACOSF, do not read this unless you have finished ACOSF AND the Azriel pov chapter<br/>*<br/>*<br/>*<br/>*<br/>*<br/>Training without Nesta and Cassian should have been fine, if it weren't for Gwyn, if it weren't for how he could never approach her. Some nights he needs an escape, but never expected her to hear his song in the shadows, for her to sing to the shadows herself.<br/>Set a few moths after the end of ACOSF</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Azriel/Gwyneth Berdara</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>137</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>326</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So I'm planning on writing several scenes for these two, but I haven't decided whether to do it as a series of one-shots or a longer fic yet, let me know if you have a preference.</p><p>As always, drop any requests in the comments.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nesta and Cassian were still off cauldron-knows where, doing cauldron-knows what, the scent of their fresh mating bond still lingering in the House, so Azriel was left to train the priestesses alone. Not that training them was bad, he was thrilled that they were learning to fight, but at least when Nesta and Cassian were there, he could focus on teasing them, rather than his own growing desire. He stiffened at the sound of Gwyn's voice behind him,</p><p>"Azriel?" And spun quickly to face her, "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you,"</p><p>"You didn't, I was just thinking,"</p><p>"About?"</p><p>"Nothing, don't worry about it. Did you need my help?" He hated the slight dismissiveness of his tone, but he couldn't actually tell her what he had been thinking of, could he? No, he couldn't. She might never want a male like that ever, he couldn't make her think she had to. He wouldn't, she would have to come to him, or he would be grateful for her friendship. </p><p>"Yeah, you said we could move on to archery today after warm ups, Cassian hasn't actually started on that at all, we need you to go over everything."</p><p>"Oh. Okay, I assumed you'd already been over the basics." She shook her head, and he sighed, gesturing for her to follow, "Is it just you, or are there others?"</p><p>"Emerie as well, she's coming." The few moments it took for Emerie to cross the training ring almost left Azriel shuffling on his feet, but when she arrived he was finally able to start the lesson.</p><p><em>Stop being so tense, she thinks something's wrong with you. </em>A shadow whispered in his ear, he wasn't being too tense, was he? Perhaps he was. Cauldron, did she think he didn't like her? <em>Now you're overthinking it. Be normal. </em>He almost snorted, that was easier said than done, but he forced his thoughts away from Gwyn, and towards the bows in front of him.</p><p>"The first thing we have to do is to string them, you can't do anything with an unstrung bow, except perhaps hit someone over the head with it, but that's not very effective." Gwyn snickered, and Emerie bit her lip to keep from laughing, "Grab a bow each, not that one, you'll never be able to draw it." He handed Gwyn a smaller bow, the limbs recurved to allow a lighter draw weight, and Emerie grabbed its twin from the rack. "Those have a draw weight of about thirty pounds, but we'll build that up, until you can draw Illyrian war bows."</p><p>"What's the draw weight of those?" Gwyn asked, her voice soothing the worry he was still feeling, </p><p>"Anything from eighty to one hundred and twenty pounds. Mine is a hundred." Her jaw dropped open,</p><p>"You mean, they can be four times as strong as these? These look pretty heavy as they are."</p><p>"They will be to start off with, you'll be using a different set of muscles than you're used to, so we'll be able to build it up." He drew their attention to the notches at the ends of the bows' limbs, when the string could sit. "Get one end of the string on the limbs, and set that limb against your ankle, and step through with the other foot." He adjusted their position, grateful that Emerie had figured it out, so that he didn't have to get too close to Gwyn as she corrected herself. "Now, use your foot as leverage to pull the string up to set it in place." He demonstrated with a third bow, smoothly setting the string in place, and both females managed to copy him, grinning when they were each successful. </p><p>"I win." Gwyn chuckled, and Emerie narrowed her eyes, managing to string her own bow moments after Gwyn,</p><p>"We'll see about that." She retorted, and Azriel smiled, and as they turned back to face him the sun burst into the ring, setting Gwyn's hair burning bright in the morning glow. She was so breathtakingly beautiful that he forgot he was supposed to be teaching. He slowly walked them through each step of shooting, from their stance to the arm guards that they needed to wear to avoid the string slapping against their forearms. Once they had gotten the hang of it, Azriel set them off to practice, keeping an eye on them as he made the rounds to check on the other priestesses.</p><p>Once he got back round to them, both females were starting to make progress, although neither had actually hit the target yet. Gwyn barely turned her head, but he knew that she'd noticed him, and took another shot,</p><p>"What am I doing wrong?" She asked, still gazing at the arrow embedded in the wall a good three feet from the target. </p><p>"You need to use your whole back to draw, not just your arm. Imagine squeezing your shoulderblades together when you draw." She nodded, trying again, and the draw was much smoother, but still the arrow thudded into the wall behind the target, and she turned to him, disappointment shining in her eyes, "Try it again. Make sure you don't release full draw the moment before you let go of the string. Draw, sight and loose all in one movement." She nocked another arrow, taking a deep breath, and he came next to her, "Here," he lifted her elbow slightly, "Now release," she did, and the arrow flew straight and true, just hitting the edge of the target. She turned and grinned at him, </p><p>"Show me that again." So he did, no matter how much his blood roared at touching her, he helped her adjust her aim, until the arrow thudded straight into the center of the target. "I did it! Did you see?"</p><p>"I saw," he grinned, "Well done, now prove it wasn't a fluke," she flipped him off but returned to the range, and while he was helping Emerie achieve the same result his shadows, his very blood sang at every shout of delight when she hit the target. Emerie was having difficulty adjusting her wings to allow her to reach full draw at all, and he had to ask he to show him exactly how much movement she had.</p><p>He frowned as Emerie moved her wings, there was no way she'd be able to get to full draw with her right wing unable to move properly. </p><p>"Perhaps we can get a brace made, or if you're comfortable to let Thesan see if he can at least recover a greater range of movement?"</p><p>"I don't know, will it hurt?"</p><p>"Certainly not initially, but perhaps later on, if you wanted to regain flight, maybe, but regaining a bit more movement should be painless." She hummed,</p><p>"I'll think about it,"</p><p>"Let one of us know if you want to try, we can always ask Madja to try first, but for now, perhaps we can get a brace made to hold your wings up so that you can shoot properly." Emerie nodded, "And I'll work out some exercises for you to perhaps be able to build up the muscles there to do it yourself, do you mind if I check to see exactly what's damaged?"</p><p>"Yeah, that's okay." She still shuddered when he touched the muscles at the base of her wings, finding few of them intact, fewer that were still capable of bearing any sort of load. </p><p>"Okay, I can try to work something out for you," Gwyn had managed to unstring her bow by herself, and wrapped an arm around Emerie's waist, </p><p>"We'll figure it out," she muttered, "In the meantime you can just kick everybody's ass at close combat." Azriel smiled as the females walked away, laughing softly,</p><p>"Make sure you cool down properly," he reminded them softly as he started to tidy up the equipment that they had all used, and his gaze fell on Gwyn, talking softly to Emerie and another female, sweaty and exhausted, but still she practically shined in the early sunlight. When she tipped back her head and laughed, his shadows skittered around him, dancing with that sound as it flowed through the air. They loved her, as they told him repeatedly, annoyingly often, and demanded that he make sure to see her again that day. He told them to mind their own business, but still couldn't tear his eyes away as she waved and headed back to the library,</p><p>"See you tomorrow, Az!"</p><p>"See you later!" He waved back at her, grinning broadly until wingbeats alerted him to Rhys' arrival to take Emerie home. He quickly shook himself off, and finished tidying up, waving goodbye to the other priestesses as they left. </p><p>*****</p><p>No one heard as Azriel slipped out of his bedroom window that evening, the cool wind nipping at his skin as he caught an updraft and spiraled up to the roof. He lay back on the roof, watching the stars twinkling above his head, letting the wind ruffle through his hair, and closed his eyes. On nights like this, he sometimes couldn't face being inside, he needed to feel the wind on his face, his wings. He opened his eyes again, his gaze falling on a familiar star, his mother's voice sounding in his ears, almost as if she was there,</p><p>
  <em>Always remember that star, Azriel. Every time you look up at it, so am I, that's our star, forever. </em>
</p><p>He didn't know what compelled him to do it, but a familiar song burst from him, his mother's song, the only lullaby he had ever been sung, the words falling effortlessly from his lips as he gazed at their star. He hadn't seen her in so long, he hadn't been able to, but he would find time, he would get away from his work soon. He could practically see her sitting beside him, hear her voice in place of his. The wind became her fingers tidying his hair, became her voice singing through the darkness, his shadows on his shoulders became her hands, holding him close, just being there. </p><p>*****</p><p>Gwyn didn't know what had driven her from her bed, but the moment she stepped outside, the song hit her. She didn't recognize the words, they were in a language she didn't know, but she knew the hurt, the longing in them, in that lullaby. That voice, she could have sworn that she'd heard it before, but she couldn't have, she didn't recognize it, still, the huskiness seemed familiar, the deep tones flowing over and through one another effortlessly. Whoever he was, he had a beautiful voice, and she found herself drawn towards it, her blood singing with him. </p><p> </p><p>Arrorró mi niño</p><p>Arrorró mi sol</p><p>Duérmase pedazo</p><p>De mi corazón</p><p>Cierre los ojitos</p><p>Ya se va a dormir</p><p>Que el pícaro sueño</p><p>No quiere venir.</p><p> </p><p>She followed the song all the way to the House of Wind, freezing when she saw the shadowed figure on the roof, head raised to the sky, great, dark wings spread behind him, voice raised in song. He <em>did </em>sing, she was frozen in awe at his voice, at the way it sang to her, but she still felt like she was intruding. Gwyn dared to snatch one final glance at Azriel before she turned to leave, and his head turned, surely he couldn't see her from all the way up there? But something made her stay, made her sit on a nearby bench and listen as he repeated the song again and again, until she knew the lyrics herself. The raw emotion in his voice almost brought her to tears, and she almost turned to leave again, but something made her stop, and sing with him.</p><p>*****</p><p>His shadows leapt and danced as a second voice sounded through the air, light and feminine, brighter and happier than his, a comfort to the pain of his own song. As Gwyn's voice continued to rise, his shadows left his shoulders to dance around him, she sang to them, for them,</p><p>
  <em>It's her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She's here.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Go to her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>We love her. </em>
</p><p>He almost chuckled at the overload of demands, but he sang with her, their voices twining together through the cold night air, the familiar melody giving him the courage to speak to her, to go down there. He practically threw himself off the roof, free-falling before opening his wings and gliding to the ground. When he landed, the street was empty. She hadn't wanted to disturb him. Gwyn wasn't there. Only her lingering scent proved that she had been there at all.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gwyn hadn't seen Azriel for days, not since she'd found him on the roof, he'd been called away for some sort of emergency, and she hadn't even been able to explain that she wasn't following him, she should never have joined in, he'd clearly wanted to be alone, perhaps that was why she'd run away. She groaned, and tried to focus on the pages in front of her, tried to disappear into her book like usual, but something kept her mind on the Shadowsinger, she found herself reading the same sentence three times while thoughts of him swirled in her mind. It wasn't that the book was bad, it was actually one of the best ones she'd read that month, but she couldn't help but see herself in those pages, herself and Azriel. </p><p>She almost threw the book across the room in disgust at the beautiful declaration of love, book Gwyn had no trouble talking to book Azriel about her feelings. She rolled over in her bed and pulled the blankets tighter around herself. She was such an idiot. Each time he'd been at training, she'd made sure to ask him for help, just to be closer to him, but maybe he thought she was pathetic now, that she couldn't <em>do</em> anything. Not that she was perfect, but she probably didn't need one-on-one training for swordplay and hand to hand combat, archery yes, but that had been the first time she'd ever shot a bow. Although if he was away much longer, Mor would have had time to teach her all she needed to stop personal tuition. </p><p>Was she so wrong for wanting to spend time with him? He'd seen her at her worst, her absolute worst, and he hadn't flinched, he'd just protected her when she couldn't protect herself. She still remembered the undiluted rage in his eyes when he'd killed the males pinning her down, still remembered the gentleness of his touch when he'd given her his cloak. Perhaps he still thought of her as that scared girl, perhaps all her asking for help was annoying, but how could she find another way to spend any sort of time with him?</p><p>*****</p><p>Azriel hated Windhaven. He hated Devlon. But mostly, he hated his own cowardice. Gwyn had found him that night because she was meant to, but he had been too slow, he had allowed her to think he didn't want her there. And then he had run away, faking an emergency. He struck the target again, and it splintered under the force of the blow, the sword cleaving straight through the wood, earning alarmed glances from the males around him. It <em>was</em> true that the camps needed inspection, but that could easily wait until Cassian got home, it wasn't urgent enough that he should have made Mor take over training the priestesses. He rotated his wrist, striking the second target with a backhanded blow that almost cleaved it in two. </p><p>For hours he worked through his thoughts, leaving far too many training targets in splinters, much to Devlon's dismay, who glared at him when he walked off the pitch. Azriel ignored him, heading straight for Rhysand's mother's old house. He fell into his old routines, dumping his weapons in the rack by the door, checking the house for any unwelcome visitors before a bath. He even left out a bowl of stew on the side for the female who had taken him in when no one else had, muttering the familiar prayer to keep her soul, and her daughter's soul safe in the afterworld. He should get back to Velaris, but even once he had tidied up the kitchen, even once he had cleaned the entire house, by hand, twice, he couldn't force himself to go outside. </p><p>He didn't get out of bed the next morning, only emerging at noon when someone pounded on the door. He dressed, and glared daggers at Devlon, standing on the doorstep like he owned the house.</p><p>"What?" he snarled,</p><p>"I assume you're here for a reason,"</p><p>"What's it to you?"</p><p>"This is my camp. I don't appreciate spies. The other bastard 'inspecting' is bad enough without you sniffing around as well. Tell Rhysand-"</p><p>"High Lord."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Tell <em>High Lord</em>  Rhysand,"</p><p>"Whatever, tell him that if you two don't leave me be-"</p><p>"What? What will you do? And besides, I'm inspecting the camp, while Cassian is with his mate."</p><p>"Poor girl," Devlon muttered, and Azriel's attention snapped straight back to him, anger burning in his eyes,</p><p>"What?" </p><p>"I said, poor girl, whoever she is, to be mated to that sorry bastard." Something snapped, and Azriel sent a fist flying for Devlon's face, the sense of satisfaction when the camp lord's nose crumpled under his fist dragging him out of his wallowing. </p><p>"Do not talk about my brother in that way. Do I make myself clear?" Devlon just glared, and cradled his nose, "Do I?"</p><p>"Yes." Azriel snarled again, "I said yes, Spymaster."</p><p>"There, how hard was that? If I hear you talking shit about your General again, I won't be so forgiving." Azriel slammed the door in Devlon's face and packed up his kit, he'd finished the inspection yesterday anyway, and winnowed home. </p><p>The library loomed before him, but Azriel banked away, aiming for the House of Wind. He left everything in his room before reluctantly flying across the city to the River House. Rhys had said that there would be a family dinner if he was back, and he didn't want to upset him but not showing up.</p><p>*****</p><p>The shadows in her room flickered, and Gwyn leapt out of bed, almost screaming as they moved towards her. Not like the ones that followed Azriel, these moved maliciously, following her when she darted out of the room. She grabbed the dagger from her training leathers, and tested to see if she could fight them, she couldn't, and the moment she touched one, it spread, trying to wrap around her. </p><p>She backed out of the room, grabbing a candle as she passed, which did seem to keep the darkness at bay, but it slowly tested the light, as if trying to see if it could actually stop it. Gwyn  found her way into the main library, finding the whole place wreathed in the darkness from its depths, and the moment she stepped out, all of it shot for her, making a beeline for the candle she held. No one else had woken, and she opened her mouth to scream, but darkness surrounded her, blocking out the sound. She scrambled backwards, sprinting for the light above her head, the moon shone bright, perhaps the shadows were confined to library, if she could just get out, she would be safe. She was mere steps from the door when the darkness clouded again, partially barring her way. </p><p>She took a deep breath, marking the exact location of the door handle and barreled through it, sobbing in fear until she burst through to the night outside. Cool air filled her lungs, but the darkness from the library didn't follow, she stared back at it, sobbing again in fear when a tendril of darkness ventured beyond the doorway. She didn't know where she could go, but she ran.</p><p>*****</p><p>Azriel forced a smile as Mor breezed over to him, glad to see him finally, and ushered him to the dining room. He grinned for real at the sight of Rhys on the couch, holding baby Nyx with one arm, the other wrapped around Feyre, asleep against him. His brother grinned at him when he entered the room, </p><p>"Finally decided to join us then, brother." Feyre stirred beside him, and he pressed a kiss to the top of her head, chuckling as she opened her eyes, squinting in the light, and buried her face back into his chest, "C'mon, darling, dinner." Feyre sighed, and disentangled herself from her mate's arms before joining Azriel at the table.</p><p>"Nyx keeping you up?" He asked, and Feyre groaned, </p><p>"He always demands a feed like half an hour after I've managed to fall asleep, then won't fall asleep for ages afterwards. And it's not like we can just take it in turns either, Rhys can't feed him, and he won't settle without it." Azriel squeezed her shoulder,</p><p>"You're doing a wonderful job, both of you, babies are tough, but he'll only get easier to cope with." Feyre grinned, and laughed as Rhys set Nyx on the table beside her, leaving him to crawl across to his mother, grabbing for her, sighing happily when she swept him into her arms. Amren rolled her eyes, but Azriel could sense the happiness in her at seeing the baby. </p><p>Partway through dinner, Nyx started crying and wouldn't settle, no matter what Feyre tried. She was on the brink of tears herself when Azriel sent a shadow towards the child, leaving him hiccuping and giggling as he tried to catch it, but each time it slipped between his fingers. He grabbed for it again, and Azriel sent it twirling around him, earning giggles of joy as he played with the shadow. </p><p>"Thank you," Azriel almost lost concentration at Rhys' voice, "She feels like a bad mother when he gets like this,"</p><p>"She's not," he said, still watching both mother and son playing with the shadow, Feyre encouraging Nyx to try to catch it, and laughing at his squeals of joy.</p><p>After dinner, Azriel made to take off, but something left him deciding to walk up to the House instead. Wandering through Velaris' silent streets, he finally let go of the fear around talking to Gwyn. He would make sure to talk to her at training tomorrow, make sure she knew he wasn't annoyed that she had been there that night. </p><p>*****</p><p>Gwyn sobbed again as the darkness almost surrounded her, nipping at her feet, trying to trip her up as she ran. She spied a figure through the darkness of the evening and sprinted for them, not caring who it was. The moment she got close enough to see it was a male, he turned towards her, and started to run for her, wings flapping to give him more speed. Wings?</p><p>"Azriel!" She sobbed, and crashed into him, shrinking back as he pushed her behind him, the darkness swirling and eddying but not approaching him any further. Shadows swirled around her, but these were safe, protecting, they were there to look after her, not hurt her. Tears slid down her face as Azriel studied the darkness, trying to figure out what it was. She crashed to the floor, sobbing uncontrollably when it vanished, leaving her alone in the street with Azriel staring after the darkness, clearly debating whether he should follow it and deciding against it, taking over from his shadows in looking after her.</p><p>"Gwyn," she barely heard him, but didn't flinch from his touch when he gently squeezed her shoulder, "I'm going to take you up to the House, is that okay?" She nodded, not sure she could speak without crying harder, and buried her face in his neck when he lifted her into his arms, holding her against his chest as he took off.</p><p>The view must have been magnificent, but she was still too scared to even marvel at the fact that she was flying. She was still crying when Azriel landed on the balcony and carried her into the House.</p><p>*****</p><p>Gwyn's scent was drenched in fear, and Azriel silently swore to end whoever had scared her, whoever had sent that darkness to hunt her, because that's exactly what it had been doing, hunting her. He had wanted to follow it, to find out where it had slunk off to, but with his shadows warning her that Gwyn needed to feel safe, he couldn't leave her, retribution could wait. </p><p>She was still crying when he set her down on a couch in one of the living areas. </p><p>"What happened?" He murmured, gently brushing her hair out of her face,</p><p>"I don't know," she whispered, "I was getting ready for bed, and it just - I don't know," </p><p>"Hey, it's okay, you're safe now, it can't get you here," she nodded, and sniffed again, and he became painfully aware that she was only in her nightgown, and he grabbed a blanket to wrap around her, leaving his shadows to watch over her while he went to fetch her a hot mug of cocoa.</p><p>His anger had subsided a little once he returned, just enough that he could fully focus on looking after Gwyn. Her feet were still bare, and the rough stones of the street had torn into them, but she seemed to hardly notice the pain as he cleaned the cuts, and gently wrapped them in bandages. She hadn't said a word since his return, just silently nursed her mug of cocoa, staring into the distance. </p><p>Not knowing what else to do, he sank onto the couch beside her and squeezed her hand gently. She drained the mug, and fixed him with her gaze, tears still shining in her eyes, </p><p>"What was it?"</p><p>"I don't know." He admitted, "But I'll find out, and I'll deal with it. It can't hurt you, I won't let it." She nodded, and another tear rolled down her face, Azriel reached up to wipe it away, expecting her to flinch from him, but she didn't, she let him gently wipe away the tears stating to fall again. </p><p>"It scared me. I couldn't fight it. I <em>did</em> try."</p><p>"I know, I know," she thought he'd think less of her for whatever had happened, and he couldn't face that, "Gwyn," she didn't look at him, her head still lowered to hide the fear in her eyes, even as her scent betrayed her, "Gwyn." She did look up this time, "You are not weak. You are stronger than most people I know for even trying to fight that. I know many seasoned warriors who would've pissed themselves and gotten themselves hurt or killed. You did everything right. Running was your only option."</p><p>"Why did it run from you?"</p><p>"I don't know," he said again, "Maybe it feared my own shadows," the same shadows that were now gathering around Gwyn, trying to shield her from everything, twining into her hair, and making her smile from the tickling sensation. "There, do that again."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Smile." She did, and he mirrored the smile, his breath catching when she pulled herself into his side, resting her head on his chest, an arm around his waist. He rested an arm across her shoulders, and allowed a wing to curl around her. She sighed,</p><p>"Thank you, Az."</p><p>"Whatever for?"</p><p>"Not thinking me a coward." She wasn't talking about tonight, he realized, </p><p>"I was the coward for not going to you earlier. I'm glad you were there, and I'm sorry I ran away the next day." She mumbled something he couldn't hear, and snuggled into him, the fear in her scent slowly vanishing with each breath. They sat in silence, and Azriel started to absent-mindedly stroke her hair, soothing her gently as he held her. "Do you want me to take you back to the library?"</p><p>"No!" she gasped, "Please," she was still shaking her head violently, when he caught her hand,</p><p>"It's okay, you can stay here if you want, Nesta's old rooms are still empty. Mine are the level above."</p><p>"Can I stay with you?" She whispered, and he froze, "I'm sorry, I just -  I feel safe with you."</p><p>"Okay, there's a set of rooms across the corridor from mine that haven't been used in a while." He silently asked the House to get them ready for her, and a warm breeze brushing through his hair told him that his request had been carried out.</p><p>*****</p><p>Gwyn still held the blanket Azriel had given her as he carried her up to the room she was to sleep in. He set her down on the bed, and offered her another smile, which she returned, before slipping out of the room. Almost immediately, the darkness in the room seemed to creep in on her, and she clutched the blanket tighter. She was being silly, Azriel would never have left her if there was any danger, but she still wished he was there, even the two doors between them were too much. </p><p>Despite the darkness, she managed to fall into a fitful sleep, tossing and turning on the bed, until she woke only an hour later, drenched in sweat, and screamed. Moments later Azriel threw the door open, and ran across to her, dropping to his knees next to the bed,</p><p>"Are you hurt?"</p><p>"No, it was just a bad dream. Just a dream." She repeated, her fear fading as she remembered where she was, who was protecting her. "I'm okay." </p><p>"You sure?" He brushed her hair back, out of her face, and she nodded, trying to settle back down. </p><p>"Can you stay?" He paused, and she almost let him leave, but she couldn't, "I just - it's dark. I'd feel safer with you here."</p><p>"Of course, if that's what you want." he said, pulling a comfy chair across to rest next to the bed, sinking into it, even as he kept a hold of her hand while she drifted back to sleep.</p><p>*****</p><p>When Gwyn woke the next morning, Azriel was still in the chair, wings drooping onto the floor beside him, his head dropped sideways onto the back of the chair. His hair was all over the place, and she couldn't help but tidy it up, freezing when he opened his eyes.</p><p>"Your hair was messy," she said as an explanation.</p><p>"My mother used to do that," he murmured, more to himself that her, and she met his gaze, her hands still in his hair,</p><p>"Is she who you were singing about the other night?"</p><p>"Yes. That was the only lullaby anyone ever sang for me. Your voice, it was like the song was written for you to sing it."</p><p>"I was only copying you," she admitted, and squeezed his hands, and he smiled, </p><p>"Let's get some breakfast."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The library didn't feel safe anymore. From the people who had hurt her, yes, but not from whatever it was that had attacked her last night. Gwyn closed the book she had been reading, placing it back on the pile to return and glanced at the candle beside her, it had almost burned down, she had maybe half an hour before sunset, and she didn't want to be here then. She made her way up to the library's entrance, waiting just inside, still scared to step properly outside on her own, especially when people were milling around the streets, males she didn't know. She would wait here.</p><p>She was only waiting a few moments before wingbeats sounded and Azriel landed on the street outside, and pushed the door open,</p><p>"Are you sure you want to come?"</p><p>"Yes. I," she paused, glancing back for a moment, "I don't feel safe here. I do with you." He nodded, glancing back outside, but Gwyn caught a glimpse of his smile, the tears in his eyes, but when he turned back to her, all sign of them was gone. He offered her his hand,</p><p>"I'll have to carry you," he started, and paused, seemingly lost for words,</p><p>"I trust you." Gwyn took his hand and stepped outside, immediately backing into him, the solid mass of him behind her reassuring her, she smiled as he curved a wing around her almost instinctively, making to draw it back when he realized, "No. Leave it." He let it curl back around her, and she pressed into his side, she could do this, she could walk through a crowded street, she wasn't alone anymore, she could do it.</p><p>Azriel squeezed her shoulder gently, and dropped his hand to her side, cautious of spooking her, but she grabbed his hand, holding on as he started, surprise glimmering in his eyes,</p><p>"You're not going to scare me off, Az." She followed his gaze to where their hands joined, the sadness, almost horror in his gaze, "We all have scars, Az. Yours are no more shameful than mine." she whispered, just loud enough for him to hear, and he smiled, really smiled, and squeezed her hand gently, leading her into the street. They stayed near the edge, with Azriel closest to the people walking up and down the street, and gradually Gwyn's fear faded, not disappeared, but faded, she was alright, and she could look after herself now. As her fear faded, she began to take in the beauty of Velaris, the shopfronts, the restaurants, the way the Sidra shined in the moonlight as they walked next to it, taking a short walk as she had asked before flying up to the House of Wind.</p><p>As beautiful as the city was, it was nothing compared to the night sky, nothing compared to the full moon shining bright over the city, the wind rushing over her face with each of Azriel's wingbeats. Gwyn had been grinning the moment he had lifted her into his arms to take off, and now she let out a whoop of joy, earning a chuckle from Azriel,</p><p>"What?" She asked,</p><p>"Nothing, it's just, your joy is infectious." He laughed again, flipping onto his back so that she could see the stars better, and she gasped as a shooting star crossed the sky, sending a trail of light through the inky black. When Azriel turned back to fly normally, he flapped harder for a moment, and Gwyn threw her arms round his neck, clinging on at the sudden rush of speed, but let out another whoop of joy as he sped up,</p><p>"I see why you love flying so much," she mused, "It's freedom."</p><p>"It is. And more than that," he sighed, as if deciding whether to continue, "I don't know what anyone told you about my mother."</p><p>"Just that she and your father weren't married."</p><p>"Married? No, not to each other, anyway. My father was married to another female, I was the product of an affair, a reminder of it. He-" he broke off, glancing around, and Gwyn squeezed his shoulder, resting her head against his chest, she would be there if he wanted to talk, whenever he wanted to talk. "I spent the first eleven years of my life in a cell underground, not able to fly or see my mother more than once a week. That's why I love flying, it's a reminder that no matter what, no matter how bad something is, it can get better."</p><p>"Az,"</p><p>"You don't have to say anything, I know it's a lot."</p><p>"Az. Thank you for trusting me." She cupped his face, forcing him to look at her as they hovered over Velaris, "You can't chase me off. We all have a past, you know mine," his eyes darkened at that, rage rippling off him,</p><p>"They didn't suffer enough," he murmured, </p><p>"They can't hurt me, just like you family can't hurt you now," she ran a finger over the back of his hand, over the scarred ridges, "I'm guessing they did this?" a nod of assent was all she needed, "So own it. You survived, and became Spymaster of the Night Court. I'd say you outshone all of them easily, even from the shadows." The tears that had formed earlier now threatened to fall,</p><p>"No one has ever said that."</p><p>"Perhaps you never wanted to hear it. You deserve happiness, Az." He sighed, contemplating her words,</p><p>"You don't know what I've done,"</p><p>"You are not a bad person. I don't care what you've done. It's what's in your heart that matters, and you are a good person. <em>You</em> are the person I feel safe with, not Cassian, not Rhysand and Feyre. You." She glanced around one last time before Azriel dove for the balcony. Gwyn squeezed Azriel's hand once more before stepping out of his arms, but something made her stop, made her turn back, there was something in his face, understanding, pain, perhaps, that mirrored hers, enough that she stepped back towards him and wrapped her arms around him before slipping away into the House before he could return the hug.</p><p>*****</p><p><em>I trust you, </em> she had said, <em>I feel safe with you, </em>but why? She couldn't possibly understand what he had had to do for his job, could she? Perhaps she could, she of all people knew the worst their kind had to offer, and had survived. His blood was still roaring at the closeness she had offered him, proof of how her trust had grown over the last several months, of her willingness to keep living despite the past. She was right, his scars, physical and mental were not something to be ashamed of, she wasn't ashamed of hers, if she could accept the past, so could he.</p><p>He glanced towards her room when he reached his door, impulse making him knock to check that she was okay. Her voice was shaking when she called for him to come in, and the room was filled with candles,</p><p>"It's dark," she whispered, "It feels like it's chasing me again," </p><p>"Do you want me to stay?" She  chewed her lip for a moment, considering his offer, and sank onto the bed, </p><p>"Everything I said just now, and I'm scared of the dark for something that happened once, and that can't happen here," she met his gaze, and laughed, "I'm such an idiot."</p><p>"You're allowed to be afraid of things, Gwyn, it happened yesterday, I'd be surprised if you simply brushed it off, but if it helps, my shadows found it again, and it <em>was</em> just the darkness at the heart of the library, I don't know why it went after you yesterday though."</p><p>"Well, thank you for finding it, I was worried it was some other dark magic."</p><p>"Nothing malicious, I think it was more curious than aggressive, it didn't seem to fear me, more to recognize me, to know who, and what, I was, so it wasn't interested." She nodded, and smiled, </p><p>"So it won't come back?"</p><p>"Honestly, I don't know, probably not, but it's possible." She drew her knees up, "But not here, it can't get up here, and nothing will hurt you while I'm here. Anything you can't handle yourself, I will deal with." She smiled and nodded, her breathing evening out as she settled down to sleep, mumbling a quick 'goodnight' when Azriel slipped out to go back to his own room.</p><p>With Gwyn safe, he could finally get started on some of his leftover paperwork from that afternoon that he'd never got round to. He leaned a pillow up against the headboard of his bed, trying to ignore his shadows dancing around at her presence.</p><p>"Go to her if you're that exited, but for the gods sakes, don't wake her, or scare her," he muttered, and stifled a chuckle as they all skittered off, immediately slipping under the door to keep an eye on Gwyn. His shadows were still with her when he finally blew out the candle to get some sleep of his own.</p><p>*****</p><p>Gwyn jolted awake. She was in the House of Wind, and safe. She glanced around the room, and something moved, for a moment she contemplated lunging for the dagger on the dressing table beside her bed, but recognized one of Azriel's shadows,</p><p>"Are you hiding from me?" She chuckled, "Come here," the shadow, and others around her drifted towards her, she knew that she ought to be afraid, but she was just intrigued, even in the months she had known him, she hadn't had a chance to get this close to Azriel's shadows, "Did Az send you to look after me?" She muttered, not expecting any response, but a shadow twined around her hand, the sensation tickling, and she laughed, but clapped a hand over her mouth to avoid waking Azriel in the next room. She giggled again when another shadow twirled through her hair, exploring, before settling beside her. One of them drifted towards an old dust-covered piano in the corner of her room, and came back, before drifting towards it again. "You want me to sing?" All the shadows froze, and drifted to the piano as one. "I can't. I'll wake Azriel, in the morning I'll sing for you." They almost seemed disappointed as they drifted back towards her, but suddenly rushed for her, surrounding her in a safe cocoon of darkness.</p><p>There was a muffled bang from down the corridor, and Gwyn did grab the dagger on her dresser then, silently crossing the floor to hide behind the door, the shadows concealing her, protecting her. The sound didn't come again for almost an hour, but she needed to know what it was, so that she could sleep properly. If only she had a proper sword, but she didn't even know where to get one from. She sighed in resignation, and pushed the door open a crack, checking down the corridor to either side, she couldn't see anything but,</p><p>"Go check it's safe," she whispered, and the shadows disappeared off, returning swiftly and swirling around her feet, it was safe. She silently crossed the corridor, and pushed Azriel's door open, "Az?" He opened his eyes immediately, and sat up,</p><p>"Gwyn? Are you okay?"</p><p>"Fine. I just heard a noise, like a person, and I don't have a sword, or I wouldn't have woken you." His eyes flicked between her, and the shadows still swirling around her,</p><p>"You spoke to them?"</p><p>"Yes. Is that not normal?"</p><p>"No." he mused, "It isn't, I've never met anyone else who can communicate with them. I'll check for anyone in the House. Wait here, I'll only be a minute."</p><p>"No. I didn't wake you so you could protect me like some pathetic maiden. I only woke you because I don't know where to get a sword from, other than that, I'm fine."</p><p>"Shall we both go, then?" She nodded, and her eyes widened in surprise as he pulled open the wardrobe, and handed her a sword, "Always have weapons accessible."</p><p>"Noted." She muttered, and poked her head of the door, "Is it still clear?" The shadows swirled again, and Azriel froze behind her,</p><p>"How do you do that? Speak to them."</p><p>"I just speak, they understand, I think."</p><p>"They do. It's just, they've never deigned to speak to anyone else before. They like you." She smiled, and caught a glimpse of a similar smile across his face, "C'mon, it's probably Cassian getting back, but we'd better check." </p><p>She dropped into her familiar stance, with Azriel at her side, sweeping through every room and corridor silently and efficiently before reaching the dining room, where a note was left on the table. Azriel got there first, and laughed at the note,</p><p>"It was Mor, she came to steal some more wine."</p><p>"Of course, she did." Gwyn chuckled, and laughed properly seeing Azriel roll his eyes, the light of dawn shining through the windows, "Well, since we're already awake, do you want a hand setting up for training?" He smiled and nodded, his gaze lingering on her a little longer than was perhaps necessary, but he did turn away to head up to the training ring. He'd hardly spoken to her since he'd woken up, granted he'd been suddenly woken, but perhaps he was annoyed with her, he'd only come to check that she was alright briefly last night, perhaps he hadn't wanted her advice with anything, perhaps he regretted telling her everything last night. She had overstepped, grossly overstepped, and now she might have ruined the first meaningful relationship she'd had with a male since the attack at the temple. She sighed and followed him, at least she could just pretend it had never happened, maybe then things would get back to normal.</p><p>*****</p><p>It was inescapable. Even her scent following up the stairs was driving him half-mad, it was taking every ounce of self-control he possessed not to just blurt out his feelings, or even just kiss her. He couldn't risk scaring her, not after everything, not when she was finally starting to be comfortable in public. Sure, she'd bee around people before, and his blood still boiled at the thought of her in the Blood Rite, but that hadn't been by choice. She had made huge steps recently, and he would not be the reason that she got scared again. If she actually wanted him she would tell him, perhaps the hug had just been an impulse, nothing more. </p><p>Still, he couldn't help snatching glances at her while she helped him set up the new obstacle course for training that morning. She moved so much more confidently, each action was thought through, measured, deliberate. She moved like a warrior, a Valkyrie, like she was finally comfortable in her abilities, like she knew that she could protect herself now. He tried not to remember holding her in his arms last night, what he had told her, and what she had said. She was a stronger person than he was, she always had been, even before he had gotten to Sangravah, she had protected the younglings, had made a terrible decision, but she had saved so many young lives. She had <em>saved</em> lives, and he couldn't help remembering the lives he had taken with each glimpse of his hands, the invisible blood that marred them. No matter what she said, he had done unspeakable things, even in the name of a greater cause, he was still a murderer. Gwyn had told him that being Spymaster was a great achievement, and it was, but she couldn't understand what else that job entailed, could she?</p><p>She was shining in the early sunlight, glowing in her newfound confidence and happiness, and he was still shrouded in shadows, even as she glanced in his direction, smiling broadly at him, he couldn't help but mirror the smile, and his shadows leapt for joy at her smile. He kept one eye on her while the other females trained, waiting for the moment that she would call him over for 'help', he'd figured out from day one that she didn't need help, she was just trying to get more comfortable having a male near her, touching her, someone she at least trusted, if nothing more. But she didn't even speak to him the whole session, and he found himself staring at her turned back as she shot arrow after arrow into the target, not perfect, but her groupings were improving, her form was better, and her technique was load better than the last time he'd seen her shoot. She was a natural, at all aspects of fighting, even the silent movement he had adopted this morning when they had checked the House for intruders, he hadn't taught her that, and Cassian certainly hadn't.</p><p>Azriel was still watching as Emerie dragged Gwyn away from the archery range to spar, several other females stopped to watch, and he didn't reprimand them, no, it would be good for them to watch these two spar. He leaned against the weapons rack next to him, actually concentrating now. Both females had picked up the skills well, but Gwyn best of all, she kept light on her feet as she circled with Emerie, darting forward, and feinting left, but striking right, leaving Emerie reeling backwards to escape the blow, and retaliate, but Gwyn was already gone. They circled again, and Gwyn narrowed her eyes, waiting for Emerie to stumble, or lose her balance. The moment her friend stepped on an uneven stone, she struck, tackling her to the ground with perfect form, and pinning her still. She grinned, and whooped with delight at winning, immediately helping her friend up, and showing her what she had done to best her, she could be a wonderful assistant with training once she had honed her skills a bit more.</p><p>Azriel was still watching when Gwyn waved goodbye to return to the library for the day, he wasn't sure if she would sleep there tonight or not. A rush of wings caught his attention, and he rolled his eyes at the overwhelming scent rushing into the ring,</p><p>"Back are we, brother?"</p><p>"Everything alright?" Cassian asked, setting Nesta down, an arm still around her shoulders, his grin fading at Azriel's obvious distraction, even if he couldn't see what was distracting him,</p><p>"Just tired, I'm fine. How was the honeymoon?" Nesta grinned, </p><p>"I don't think you want to know." </p><p>"You're right. I don't. I'm glad you had fun at least." Cassian snorted in laughter, and pressed a kiss to Nesta's temple, </p><p>"You could say that," They were so in love it was ridiculous, Azriel had always thought it was impossible, that mates didn't really exist, that it was just the world playing tricks on him. But then Rhys had met Feyre, and Cassian had met Nesta. He had assumed that he should be feeling that same devotion to Elain, and he had tried to force it, thinking that perhaps it took time in some cases. But that love, that devotion wasn't there. She was beautiful, and kind, but she wasn't the person who he could love with his whole heart, who he wanted to fight for a future with, because it wasn't right, he didn't feel any of that for her. Maybe he was broken, maybe he couldn't ever feel love like his brothers did, but then there was Gwyn, if he didn't know better he might think that she was worth fighting for. But he knew better, he had never deserved a mate anyway.</p><p>"Have you two eaten this morning?" He forced out, forced himself to engage in conversation, reminded himself that he genuinely liked these people, both of them, that talking to them wasn't a chore. Cassian had been his brother for five centuries, and Nesta was now his sister, he supposed, so why was his whole body screaming at him to follow Gwyn, to talk to her, to find out what was wrong, what he had done wrong to push her away enough that she didn't talk to him. Gradually, he managed to drive Gwyn from his mind, sitting at the table with Nesta and Cassian, he was happy for them, he really was, the way Nesta was talking about the lakeside mountain cabin Cassian had taken her to, the way Cassian was smiling at her the whole time, the way his his love for her shone in his eyes, made Azriel's own heart soften. It was about time Cassian had found someone, and for Nesta, they had found each other, found their mate, their mirror. </p><p>"Az?" He blinked, realizing that Cassian had asked him a question,</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Cauldron, Az, you <em>are</em> tired. I asked how training was going?" Azriel mumbled something noncommittal, but sighed at Cassian's genuine worry,</p><p>"Fine, Emerie needs a brace for her wings to shoot, she can't reach full draw at the moment, she's seeing Madja later, I think Gwyn will probably go with her, and Nes, I suppose, now you're here."</p><p>"They're learning to shoot?" Nesta asked, shock crossing her face, and Azriel nodded in confirmation, "With war-bows?"</p><p>"No, thirty pounds, we'll build up the draw weights."</p><p>"I was going to say." She chuckled, "I could hardly draw Feyre's hunting bow when she taught me," Cassian squeezed her shoulders tighter, "I'd like to learn to shoot properly."</p><p>"I thought you could shoot, didn't you do it in the Blood Rite?" Right, Azriel remembered her mentioning that,</p><p>"Adrenaline, I couldn't even draw that bow afterwards, let alone hit anything with it, I know the basics though."</p><p>"Well, now's a good time, a few of the others are starting, you can join them tomorrow morning, that is, if you can cope with leaving that prick for more than a minute," he ducked the cup Nesta chucked at him,</p><p>"I'm not as pathetic as you males," she crooned, "I can stand to be away from him, it's Cass who's the baby here." Azriel took that as his cue to leave, draining his cup of tea, and throwing a knowing glance at Cassian, </p><p>"Have a nice ride," he whispered to his brother as he left the room, causing Cassian to choke on his own tea, but Azriel was gone before he could respond, diving off the balcony to retreat to the relative safety of the River House, it was eleven in the morning, surely Rhys and Feyre would be being sensible? He was wrong. Only the townhouse was safe it seemed, and Mor must have come to the same conclusion, given that she was sitting in the living room, drinking what could not possibly be water, an grinning almost evilly at him as he entered the room,</p><p>"Lovebirds smoked you out as well?" He grunted, and she patted the couch next to her, "You look like you need a drink."</p><p>"You could say that." Azriel didn't return to the House until well after lunch, praying to all the gods that Nesta and Cassian would behave. He glared at the horrible stack of paperwork on his desk, and groaned, sitting down to tackle it all, making up for all the time he had lost daydreaming recently. Soon, the familiar rhythms of work filled his mind, leaving no space for thoughts of Gwyn, or anything else.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gwyn slept in the library again that night, unwilling to intrude on normal life at the House, even with Nesta there. She sighed, pouring over another book for Merrill, searching for that one bit of information she needed. Nothing. She placed the book on the ever-growing pile by her side, and pulled another one towards her, resigning herself to staying well past nightfall, if she didn't finish this by morning, Merrill would skin her alive. She lit a candle, then another, pushing back the darkness around her, Azriel had said that it would be safe, but one could never be too careful.</p><p>"What are you still doing up?" Gwyn's head shot up at her sister's voice, Nesta breezed down the corridor to claim the chair opposite Gwyn, "You should be asleep."</p><p>"So should you," she countered, "I'm just finishing this off, then I'll get some sleep, Hey!" She complained as Nesta swiped the book off the counter, and grimaced as she read the title,</p><p>"Ugh, what a travesty,"</p><p>"It is actually quite interesting once you get into it a bit," Gwyn insisted,</p><p>"I'll pass,"</p><p>"What? No smut and it's not acceptable?" She teased, chuckling at Nesta's eye roll, "What <em>are</em> you here for, Nes?" Gwyn asked, finally giving up trying to covertly grab the book back,</p><p>"I came to find you, you seemed a bit off at training this morning, and I didn't get to see you yesterday when we got home."</p><p>"I'm just tired," Gwyn said, hoping Nesta wouldn't see it for the lie it was,</p><p>"Gwyn."</p><p>"I'm fine, Nes."</p><p>"Az told me what happened with the library's darkness. Are you sure you're okay?"</p><p>"Yeah. I'm just a bit shaken, it didn't hurt me, and Azriel said he thought it was just curious, that it didn't even want to hurt me anyway."</p><p>"Are you alright sleeping here?" No. Yes. No. She hadn't gotten any sleep last night from fear, but nothing had come for her, dangerous or otherwise. Azriel hadn't come to check on her.</p><p>"It's fine," Nesta narrowed her eyes, </p><p>"You're exhausted, Gwyn, did you even sleep at all last night?" Gwyn shook her head, "Come back up to the House, the bedroom you used a couple days ago is still set up for you." She couldn't. Azriel already thought that she was a pathetic mess, with him just across the hall, she'd be tempted to go to him at every shadow, every nightmare. Nesta noticed her hesitation, clasping her hands across the table, "You won't be a nuisance, you know, it's only me, Cassian and Azriel up there at the moment."</p><p>"I know. I just, I don't know." Nesta squeezed her hands gently, giving her space to talk, "Azriel's been looking after me ever since, and I don't want to burden him, if I'm there, he'll want to protect me, and I'll be tempted to let him. I don't want to get in the way of anything."</p><p>"You're worried we might think you pathetic?" Gwyn shrugged, "Gwyn, you could never be pathetic for wanting some space from something that scared you. Come back to the House, let us help if you need, don't try to be on your own, even if you know it's safe, let us, let me, help."</p><p>"Okay." Nesta was right, she did need someone else she really trusted around, just to remind her that she was safe now, even with the darkness confining itself to the lower levels, she was still nervous, another few days and she'd be fine, she just needed to unscramble her nerves a bit, that was all. Gwyn smiled as she let Nesta lead her out of the library, and up to the House.</p><p>*****</p><p>Azriel paced in front of his fire again, freezing at the sound of a door, and twin feminine laughter, Gwyn was here, Nesta had gotten her to come back. His shadows swirled around, quicker than usual, dancing with the tones of her laughter. He cracked the door open, pretending that they'd woken him, and feigned surprise at seeing Gwyn there,</p><p>"Oh, you alright, Gwyn?"</p><p>"I didn't sleep well last night, I, well, Nesta thought another couple days up here might ease my nerves a bit."</p><p>"Of course, you know we're all here if you need anything, although," he added, grimacing after Nesta's disappearing back, "It might be better not to disturb them though, Cauldron knows what they get up to." Gwyn snorted with laughter, and Azriel's shadows shot out past him to greet her. The danced around her feet and she giggled, trying to pet them, but they just entwined around her hands, pulling her into her room, towards the old piano in the corner. "They want you to sing," Azriel whispered, almost in awe of how his shadows loved her, "They love singing,"</p><p>"What should I sing?" She asked, opening the piano, and blowing away the lingering dust there,</p><p>"Anything," he breathed, sinking into an armchair, captured by her every movement. All her nervousness vanished the moment her hands touched the keys, a gentle melody flowing through the air, soft and calm, but underneath it, she used sharps and flats. It wasn't like anything Azriel had ever heard before, something was different, <em>she</em> was different. When she opened her mouth to sing, his heart cracked and reforged, the grief in her voice, for what she had loved and lost, and the joy for the love she had found, the sisters she had chosen, her place in the world that she had found. She lifted her head, not even noticing the way his shadows eddied and flowed with the music, not noticing his own foot tapping along to the melody, the tension in his muscles as he resisted the urge to go sit next to her, to pour his own heart into the music.</p><p>The song changed to one he knew, and Azriel joined in, their voices blending perfectly as they had when she had found him on the roof. She sang several octaves higher than him, but still, her voice and his entwined perfectly, as if they were made to sing together, made for the duet now floating through the air, sending his shadows spiraling almost out of control, until they drifted towards him,</p><p><em>She's the one,</em> </p><p>They whispered, coming back to rest on his shoulders,</p><p>
  <em>How can she be? She probably never wants to look at a male ever. </em>
</p><p>He countered, she was so happy, he wouldn't risk breaking that fragile happiness,</p><p>
  <em>She looks at you.</em>
</p><p>He almost choked, his voice faltering for a moment, she what?</p><p>
  <em>She looks at you.</em>
</p><p>The shadow repeated,</p><p>
  <em>She looks at you in training, she's trying not to look at you now, she hoped you would go to her last night. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She's been avoiding me,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>No. She's worried that she's been a burden the past few days, she wants more from you.</em>
</p><p>The shadow vanished, leaving him reeling with its revelations, and Gwyn finished the song, turning back to him,</p><p>"Did they like it?" She asked, as if there were any doubt,</p><p>"Yes. They loved it." She smiled, and closed the piano gingerly, "Gwyn?" She fixed him with her gaze, her eyes bright, and wide as they focused on him, "Why didn't you stay last night?" She shrugged,</p><p>"I thought I'd be fine,"</p><p>"Gwyn. Were you worried that you'd be in the way?" She glanced away,</p><p>"Um, no?"</p><p>"You could never be in the way," she sank onto the bed beside him, "I like having you here, I hardly see you otherwise."</p><p>"That's just because Merrill runs me ragged, and she's making up for lost time with the workload now." When she turned back, a lock of hair fell in her eyes, and before he really registered what he was doing, Azriel reached up to brush it back behind her ear, freezing at the feel of her face on his hand. She didn't flinch from his touch, no, she leaned into it almost imperceptibly, smiling softly at him,</p><p>"I should go," he stood, and Gwyn shrank away a little, exactly what he had hoped to avoid,</p><p>"Yeah, okay, I'll see you in the morning." She turned to find a nightgown and Azriel silently made his way out of the room, cursing himself for his stupidity, he had made her do that. He had made her feel bad, in some way, he had upset her, and he hated it, more than anything. He leaned his head against the wall, as if he could still reach her through the stone. Were his shadows right? She wanted more from him? He couldn't for the life of him think why.</p><p>*****</p><p>When Gwyn turned back around, Azriel was gone. She was foolish to think that it had meant anything, he had just been being kind, that was it. Her hair had been messy, and he was being kind, nothing more. Still, she couldn't help stare at the door, almost hoping that if she stared at it enough, he would come back. She waited for an hour, and he didn't come back, even his scent was fading as she finally forced herself to go to sleep. </p><p>Azriel didn't show for breakfast, and Gwyn tried desperately to distract herself, but even Cassian's jokes didn't manage for long,</p><p>"Az said you'd been starting on archery." </p><p>"What?" Cassian was still looking at her, "Oh, yes, Emerie and I started a few days ago, but we need to get a brace made for Emerie's wings because she can't move them properly. If you want to come, Nes, the appointment's later today." Nesta grinned, and nodded, </p><p>"Managed to hit the target yet then?" </p><p>"I'd like to see you do any better!" Gwyn muttered, earning a laugh from Nesta, </p><p>"Don't worry, Gwyn, I'm sure you're better than me, after all you've been practicing."</p><p>"One of us had to, you're falling behind now, while you two were off having a weeks worth of sex, some of us were still training." Cassian coughed to cover up a laugh,and Nesta glared at him,</p><p>"I didn't see you complaining." </p><p>"Oh no," Gwyn laughed, feigning worry, "Did I get you in trouble, Cass?" He rolled his eyes, </p><p>"It's alright, I'll just make you run more in training today." Gwyn laughed, and headed to her room to change into her leathers, noticing Nesta's sideways glance at her mate, it was probably better just to leave them alone for a bit.</p><p>When they finally arrived at training, moments before the priestesses, Gwyn chuckled at the blush still staining Nesta's cheeks, nudging her side when she joined her in warming up,</p><p>"Oh shut up." She tried to sound fierce, but lapsed into giggles, </p><p>"Mmhmm," Gwyn hummed, "Can't go five minutes you damn animals." She laughed, and dodged a gentle nudge from her sister, light shining in her eyes as she glanced back across to Cassian, who grinned, and pulled his hair back, winking at Nesta when she flushed again. Gwyn stifled another laugh, and set off to do her warm up laps of the ring. She glanced around again when she reached the archery range, still set up from a couple of days ago. Azriel still wasn't here, she narrowed her eyes, but Cassian didn't look worried, maybe he was hiding something. "Nesta!" She hissed, "Is everything alright, with the court? Just, Az isn't here, did he get sent on a mission or something?"</p><p>"Oh. He's just a the River House with Rhys and Feyre, there were some worrying reports from his spies in Illyria. Don't worry, he'll be back soon, it won't take long, he headed up before breakfast." Gwyn wasn't sure why the wave of relief that washed over her was so foreign, but so familiar at the same time. She smiled, and picked up a bow to practice,</p><p>"That's good, another war would be terrible."</p><p>"That's what they're trying to avoid, I think. I'll ask Cass later once he's spoken to Azriel." Gwyn nodded, and handed Nesta a bow, </p><p>"Let's see what you're made of, Archeron." As it turned out, Nesta wasn't a bad shot, she certainly wasn't a sharpshooter, but Gwyn was glad of her extra days of training, so that they were on a par with each other. She was so focused on beating Nesta that she didn't notice the wingbeats above her head, didn't notice when Azriel touched down on the training ring, stalking straight across to Cassian, and pulling him aside. </p><p>Nesta loosed another arrow, the head striking right next to the center, but just outside the bullseye. Gwyn drew an arrow, it was all or nothing, they were tied for points now, she had to make a bullseye. She nocked the arrow, staring straight down at the target, her fingers automatically latching onto the string, and drew the bow, her fingers resting next to her cheek. She released half a breath, and loosed the arrow, staring after it as it flew straight and true, right into the center of the bullseye. She whooped and turned triumphantly to Nesta,</p><p>"I win!"</p><p>"No!" Nesta squealed, "Rematch! You got lucky!"</p><p>"I did not." Gwyn huffed, "I'm better than you." She crooned, becoming vaguely aware of a presence watching her, she pivoted on her heels, and her gaze immediately locked with Azriel's, still standing with Cassian, but clearly not paying attention to him.</p><p>*****</p><p>Gwyn's whoop of joy drew his attention, leaving Cassian talking to himself as he considered the best way to handle the rebellious Camp Lords. He froze as she turned towards him, relief in her eyes, but also a tinge of sadness, idiot, he was such an idiot, whatever he had done last night was still upsetting her.</p><p>
  <em>Talk to her.</em>
</p><p>A shadow whispered,</p><p>
  <em>What if she doesn't want to talk to me?</em>
</p><p>He demanded, breaking the eye contact, unable to face even that little tinge of sadness in her gaze. He'd made it worse, she turned back to Nesta, shoulders slumping slightly, and glanced back at him once before accepting a rematch.</p><p>
  <em>Go and talk to her.</em>
</p><p>The shadows demanded, all of them, all at once.</p><p>
  <em>And say what?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hello.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Very helpful, thank you.</em>
</p><p>He resisted the urge to roll his eyes, and patted Cassian on the shoulder,</p><p>"I - uh, I'm gonna check how the girls are getting on," he didn't wait for Cassian to respond as he made his way towards the archery range, unable to control his nervousness, which worsened as soon as Nesta saw him, and realized that Cassian was on his own now. She immediately ran off towards him, and Azriel watched for a moment as Cassian folded her into his side, repeating everything Azriel had just told him. Gwyn laughed as she watched her friend sprint off, but paused at the sight of Azriel. He swallowed, taking the last few steps towards her, "Hey." Pathetic. This was absolutely pathetic.</p><p>"Hey." She turned back to the range, but Azriel stepped around her, keeping within her eye line,</p><p>"Are you alright? Last night you seemed upset, and just now."</p><p>"I'm fine, Azriel."</p><p>"Did I upset you somehow?" She shrugged, turning to draw an arrow, completely ignoring him, "Gwyn, please, what are you upset about?" She shook her head, </p><p>"I don't want to discuss anything here. After training." She took a deep breath, and, was that a hint of nervousness about discussing whatever she wanted to discuss? It couldn't be. What if the shadows were right? They couldn't be right. But they had never been wrong. He ran a hand through his hair,</p><p>"Okay," he could work with that, after training, presumably in private." He nodded, and stepped back to watch her shoot. Her technique was excellent, not perfect, but excellent, but she still wasn't hitting the bullseye, always just above it. "Here," he couldn't resist touching her, just to lift her elbow slightly, "Move your hand up a little, it'll drop the arrow lower, make an adjustment and stick with it for a few shots, then adjust again if you need." Gwyn nodded, drawing in a breath, a slightly unsteady breath if he wasn't mistaken, and released the string. The arrow flew straight, burying itself into the edge of the bullseye, "Go again, keep you aim the same." Again the arrow embedded right on the edge of the bullseye ring,</p><p>"Should I lift my hand more?" Gwyn turned her head to face him, and he fumbled for words momentarily, staring into her eyes,</p><p>"Yes, yeah, just a little." She did so, and the arrow flew home this time, and again, and again, and again. Gwyn emptied her quiver, and whooped with delight again, earning amused looks from some of the other priestesses, and an answering whoop from Nesta. The two females ran towards each other, falling to the floor as they embraced, giggling as they scrambled back to their feet. Gwyn's laugh, there was something about it that drew him in, something he had never felt before, not with anyone, not even Mor, and certainly not Elain. She grinned at him as she noticed his gaze, and he grinned back, his shadows leaping for joy at the look on her face.</p><p>Azriel stayed behind after training to clear up, leaving Cassian to start on some research with Nesta, and work out what to do about the situation in Illyria. Gwyn was still waiting to talk to him, and he apologized for keeping her waiting when he got back to her,</p><p>"Don't apologize for doing your job. You wanted to talk about something?"</p><p>"You were upset last night." It wasn't a question, but she nodded anyway, "Why? Did I do something to hurt you?" Please, say it was something else,</p><p>"Not really." Uh oh, not really, he'd fucked up. "It's just me being silly really, don't worry."</p><p>"Gwyn. What happened?" </p><p>"I - uh, when you tucked my hair behind my ear, um," she paused, and in the silence, Azriel could hear her heart racing, "You sort of snatched your hand away, I don't know, I just thought that maybe you didn't want any contact with me." There were tears, actual tears shining in her beautiful eyes as she looked at him, and he clasped her hands in his,</p><p>"Never. I was worried that you wouldn't want <em>me</em> to touch you outside of training, that a male touching you would scare you."</p><p>"Another male, perhaps, but not you, never you. I have never been scared of you, even when you killed those males." He knew who she was referring to, "I - I <em>want</em> that, Az."</p><p>"What?" he breathed, not quite believing it.</p><p>"I want you to be comfortable with being normal with me, I trust you. You're my <em>friend.</em> I don't want you to worry that you might scare me." Friend. The word clashed through him, but he knew there wouldn't be more, possibly never would, not with Gwyn. He smiled though, </p><p>"I'm sorry. I never meant to make you feel like that," he murmured, and held his arms out, letting her decide if she wanted contact. She smiled, and threw her arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms gently around her, breathing in her scent until she stepped back, </p><p>"I smell, I should bathe, I'll see you later." He debated telling her that she smelled great, but just nodded,</p><p>"See you later."</p><p>*****</p><p>Gwyn didn't look back as she walked away, too scared that if she did, she would run back to him, and tell him that she had lied. She hadn't missed his slight pause when she had said friend, but she was scared, more than she would admit, to tell him. Scared that she wouldn't be able to resist tidying <em>his</em> hair, still ruffled from his own fingers running through it, scared that she wouldn't be able to resist holding on to him, and never letting go, telling him that he deserved everything, that he was twice the male that anyone who had hurt him would ever be, that he was a <em>good</em> person. </p><p>Perhaps she should speak to Nesta. But then again, Nesta's style of flirting was just insults, and Gwyn could never pull that off, besides, Azriel wasn't Cassian, that sort of approach wouldn't work. And Emerie, well, she had no idea about flirting, well, with males anyway. </p><p>Gwyn slipped into the bath, her thoughts still racing, and didn't get out until the bathwater had turned cold, and she was shivering. She caught sight of the clock as she stepped out, shit, she was supposed to meet Nesta and Mor with Emerie to get to the healer's appointment in ten minutes. She threw a set of robes on, not paying much attention, and quickly straightened herself up as as ran to meet them.</p><p>Emerie grinned and waved as Gwyn appeared, but quickly turned back to smile at Mor as the female said something that made even Nesta snort in amusement. Mor held a hand out for her, and Gwyn in turn gripped Nesta's as they winnowed out to a familiar building,</p><p>"I'll see you all in a bit," Mor said as they arrived, slightly distracted, and Emerie smiled,</p><p>"Thanks again for bringing us,"</p><p>"Yeah, no worries," Mor's attention slid back to the Illyrian female, and she grinned, "have fun, I guess? See you in a bit," Gwyn waved as she walked away, and turned to face the healer's shop,</p><p>"Let's go."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Madja smiled as Gwyn followed her sisters into the healer's house, </p><p>"I believe you wanted to get a brace made for your wings?" She asked, gesturing for Emerie to sit, and she nodded,</p><p>"I can't fully draw a bow with the limited movement." She admitted, and nodded when Madja paused before reaching out to see exactly how far her wings could move on their own, and then with assistance. Gwyn and Nesta sat in front of Emerie, each holding one of her hands, and she squeezed each time something hurt, but never stopped Madja. </p><p>"How much higher do you need them to rest?" Madja asked, </p><p>"Not too much, I can't remember exactly what Azriel suggested."</p><p>"That's okay, I'll make one that's adjustable, so it can change as needed. Just so you're aware, bracing your wings higher than where they naturally rest will stretch the muscles, and might leave them a bit sore depending on how long you brace them for." Emerie nodded, "But it might also loosen the tightness that's come with the years, and if you want to, perhaps we can incorporate some physical therapy to improve movement a little."</p><p>"Physical therapy?" Emerie's eyes flashed with fear, "Not - not reopening the wounds to heal?" Gwyn gently squeezed her hand, </p><p>"No, nothing like that. You're not alone in wanting to avoid that, just stretches and exercises to improve strength and movement as your wings are. Perhaps with the right encouragement, your wings will be able to rest in a position suitable for archery without a brace at some point."</p><p>"That'll certainly be helpful," Emerie mused, "Okay, let's try it." </p><p>"Wonderful." Madja slowly released Emerie's wings, and pulled a sketchpad from under her desk, she sat silently for a few moments while Emerie turned to sit normally in her chair, "This is what I'm imagining," she explained, showing the females her sketch, "Does that look about right?"</p><p>"Yes. Thank you." Emerie grinned, and Madja smiled, her joy at helping a patient obvious in the way her eyes shone,</p><p>"I should have it made within a week or so, I will send word when it's done, and I'll let you know a potential schedule for your physical therapy."</p><p>"Oh. Um," Emerie started, "I don't live in Velaris, and I'd rather any letters not be found by my neighbors."</p><p>"I know," Madja said, smiling softly, "I meant, I'll send word to the House of Wind, I assume either Cassian or Azriel will help you when you come for training."</p><p>"Thank you," Emerie grinned, and turned round to Nesta, "Watch out, Nes, I'm coming after your title." Nesta narrowed her eyes,</p><p>"We'll see about that," she muttered, and Gwyn laughed,</p><p>"Oh please, neither of you stand a chance against me," she joked, and thanked Madja again before leading her sisters outside, to where Mor was already waiting,</p><p>"Well?" Emerie grinned and nodded,</p><p>"She says it should be made in a week!"</p><p>"That's great, are you feeling alright?"</p><p>"Yeah, she also said that she thinks she can help with some stretches and exercises to eventually strengthen my wings so they won't need a brace." Mor grinned, and Emerie threw her arms around her, holding on tight as they winnowed back to the House.</p><p>Gwyn and Nesta shared a knowing look when they arrived, and slipped away, leaving Emerie and Mor alone for a moment,</p><p>"Oh, Gwyn, before I forget, there'a family dinner tonight, I doubt Emerie will be able to come, but you're more than welcome to if you want."</p><p>"A family dinner?"</p><p>"Yeah, at my sister's River House."</p><p>"You mean, a dinner with the High Lord and Lady?"</p><p>"With my sister and brother-in-law, my other sister, Elain, I don't think you've properly met, but she'll be there, and Amren and Varian, have you met them?"</p><p>"Briefly, but only for a couple of minutes,"</p><p>"And obviously, Mor, Cass and Az are all coming. It's okay if you're not comfortable coming though."</p><p>"No, I'll come, is it okay if I decide to leave early though?"</p><p>"Of course. Whatever you're comfortable with." Nesta didn't say it, but Gwyn easily noticed the pride in her eyes, pride for her, that she was willingly going to a gathering with people she didn't know well, or at all, in Elain's case. She smiled, Nesta didn't need to know that Azriel was the sole reason that she was comfortable with going, </p><p>"I'll see you tonight." Nesta grinned, before turning away, </p><p>"Oh, and my nephew will be there as well, at least for a bit." Gwyn smiled as Nesta disappeared off to whatever work she had to do.</p><p>*****</p><p>Gwyn was beautiful. There was no other way to describe her as she walked towards him, Azriel couldn't help the smile that sprung to his face, and his shadows shot across to her, not even waiting for his permission, dancing around her as she walked across to him. She had forsaken the robes of a priestess tonight, instead opting for a loose dress, the skirts not quite falling to the floor, leaving her shoes on display. The dress itself was midnight-blue, the skirts made from several swathes of fabric, flowing around her as she moved, and on her feet were a pair of flat shoes, matching the dress, elegant but practical. She had swept her hair onto her head, out of the way. She had dressed to look relatively formal, but so that she could still run, and fight. Azriel extended a hand, waiting for her to reach him, his shadows still surrounding her when she grasped his hand. They stayed with her as he flew her down to the River House, with Cassian and Nesta beside them.</p><p>Gwyn took a deep breath when Azriel set her down on the porch of the River House,</p><p>"You okay?" He muttered, and she nodded, but didn't step away from her side, going motionless when the door opened, and Feyre grinned at them, </p><p>"We're just getting sat down." She said, her gaze lingering on Gwyn for a moment, "Gwyn, I'm Feyre, we met briefly a few months ago." Gwyn returned her smile, and shook the hand Feyre held out for her,</p><p>"I remember," she faltered for a second, "I don't know what I should call you," she admitted, and Feyre smiled again,</p><p>"Just Feyre, no 'my lord' or 'my lady' within our family." Gwyn smiled, and,</p><p>"Alright, Feyre." Feyre grinned, and Gwyn seemingly opened up, her nervousness visibly fading a little at Feyre's friendly tone, </p><p>"Come on in then, you lot."</p><p>Azriel kept a hand on Gwyn's lower back as she followed Nesta and Cassian inside, and she flashed him a grateful smile, this was still difficult for her, but if he could make it any easier, he would.</p><p>Everyone else was already sat down when they reached the dining room, except for Mor, who was still sitting in an armchair across the room, playing with baby Nyx, her joy at his every giggle and squeal of delight plain for anyone to see. Were it not for Gwyn at his side, Azriel's gaze would have lingered, but he checked that Gwyn was still alright, and deliberately guided her to a chair away from the males she didn't know well. She was still close to Elain though, and Mor slid into the chair opposite Azriel after handing Nyx back to his mother. Gwyn kept close to him as conversations started around the table, casual conversations, no mention of work, or the potential situation in Illyria, not at family dinner. Gwyn was unusually quiet, mostly observing everyone around her, and talking politely to Mor and Nesta when she needed to. Every casual move was clear, calculated, her instincts for observation were perfect, had she been there to report back to someone, she would have been able to talk about everyone. A flash of pride shot through him at the realization that she was trying to figure out what to talk about with different people, and he cursed himself for not briefing her beforehand,</p><p>"Feyre tells me that you got some new seeds, Elain," he started, daring a glance at Rhys as her attention snapped to him, his brother wasn't watching, thank the Cauldron. Elain stared straight at him, and he tried not to squirm under her gaze as she excitedly talked about the new plants she was growing, exclusive to the Night Court. Was she still upset that he'd had to stop whatever had been starting to form between them? He almost winced at the intensity of her gaze, resisting to urge to ask his shadows what was up with her, but he wouldn't invade her privacy, even if she was mad at him.</p><p>"Did you ever find any night-blooming lilies?" It was the first question Gwyn had asked all evening, "We had some at Sangravah when I was young, but I've not seen them since,"</p><p>"No," Elain sighed, "I can't find them anywhere, it's as if all the seeds vanish the moment I try looking for them. I'll get my hands on some eventually. Excuse me," she muttered, standing to go and fetch the food, returning with Nuala and Cerridwen a few minutes later, leaving Gwyn hanging, and Azriel almost glared after her, but turned to Gwyn,</p><p>"Well done," he whispered, just loud enough for Gwyn to hear him, and he noticed Rhys glancing towards them for fifth time that evening, "If you're okay, I think Rhys wants to come over,"</p><p>"Oh?"</p><p>"You're a part of the family now. But he'll understand if you'd rather not tonight."</p><p>"No, it's okay," Azriel jerked his head slightly, and Rhys made his way slowly towards them, claiming the seat across from Gwyn, and smiled at her, "Hello, my lo-, sorry, Rhysand." He chuckled softly,</p><p>"Just Rhys is fine, Gwyn, we don't reinforce rank here."</p><p>"I know. Feyre mentioned, it's just a bit of a surprise," she glanced across to Azriel, just for a moment, wanting that little reassurance that he was still there,</p><p>"How's Nyx doing? You getting any sleep now?" Rhys rolled his eyes, and snorted,</p><p>"Sleep? What's that?" Rhys groaned, but grinned, and Gwyn smiled, </p><p>"Nyx is your son?" Rhys nodded,</p><p>"He's almost four months old now," he turned to see Feyre making her way across the room, Nyx in her arms, grabbing at her hair, and giggling when she passed him to Azriel,</p><p>"Say hi to uncle Azriel," she crooned, and grinned as she returned to her seat, Nyx stared up at him, and he reached out for something, grabbing at the air, the shadows,</p><p>"He's beautiful," Gwyn whispered, "I've always loved children, I used to look after the younglings at Sangravah." </p><p>"Do you want to hold him?" Rhys asked softly, and she nodded, giggling when Nyx hiccuped, staring up at her with wide eyes, then back at Azriel, "I hope we might see you around a bit more, Gwyn," Rhys said as he too left, following Feyre back to their seats. Gwyn looked around in a panic,</p><p>"Doesn't he want his son back?" </p><p>"You're fine, Gwyn, look, Nyx loves you." True to his words, the child had fallen asleep in Gwyn's arms, his little wings flopping down, and she carefully gathered them up,</p><p>"It's been ages since I held a child," she whispered, "I miss it." She smiled down at the sleeping child in her arms, "Babies don't ever judge, they see the world exactly as it is, and don't apologize for it." Azriel couldn't help but smile as she look back at him, laughing when Mor swooped back in to steal her nephew,</p><p>"My turn," she demanded, and grinned when Gwyn relinquished the child, his chubby hands pulling on a golden chain around her neck, a necklace, <em>the</em> necklace, oh shit, Elain was going to see it. He had to distract her attention, if Elain saw it, she'd mention it, and Gwyn, he never wanted her to think herself second best, if he'd been thinking he would have returned it, and bought her a different one, but it was too late now, shit. He could hide it, with his shadows. It was too late, Elain had already turned back, her gaze landing on the necklace,</p><p>"That's a lovely necklace, Gwyn." No. Shit, shit, shit.</p><p>"It was a gift from a friend at solstice, I never found out who." Gwyn smiled and touched the charm,</p><p>"I'm glad Azriel found someone who wanted it after I gave it back to him." Gwyn turned to face him, and he wished he could just vanish,</p><p>"What? Is that true? Did you give it to Elain first?" Tears were shining in her eyes, and devastation marred her beautiful face,</p><p>"Yes, but -" she didn't give him a chance to speak, running out of the room immediately,  "Gwyn!" he called after her, and glared at Elain, "What the fuck, Elain?" he almost shouted,</p><p>"She deserves to know. No one wants to be second best."</p><p>"She's not. I didn't even tell her it was from me! I just wanted someone to be happy with it, not using it as an escape from something else!" He snapped, following Gwyn out of the room before Elain had a chance to answer.</p><p>*****</p><p>He had just given her the necklace because Elain didn't want it. Azriel thought she was just someone to pass off unwanted gifts to. She would have been thrilled to learn it was from him, if he hadn't just been passing it on to her. She paused at the door, hearing Azriel's angry words to Elain, and debated going back, but ran outside, into the gardens, finding a bench to sit on. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, but couldn't stop the tears from falling. She had thought he was different, better, but he had only thought of her when Elain had given it back, of course he wanted Elain, his brothers were with her sisters, so of course they were, whatever they were. She was foolish to think he'd ever want her. She buried her face in her hands and cried, letting out the sobs that she had hidden earlier, tears falling freely down her face.</p><p>Footsteps sounded on the marble floor at the entrance to the house, </p><p>"Go away," she muttered,</p><p>"Gwyn, please." Azriel. He thought he could just follow her out here, as if he had done nothing wrong,</p><p>"Why don't you run inside and find Elain!" she snapped,</p><p>"I don't want Elain." He said, not coming any closer,</p><p>"I won't be someone you just use to replace her. If you cared, you would have bought me a present for <em>me</em>, not just because the person you bought it for didn't want it."</p><p>"Gwyn," his voice broke on her name, "I never meant for you to feel second best-"</p><p>"Aren't I?"</p><p>"No! I just wasn't thinking."</p><p>"Obviously!" Gwyn glared at him, her vision still blurred by tears, "You were supposed to never lie to me! You're the first male I trusted! And you didn't even prioritize me!" She shouted, "I just wanted you to trust me, to not hide from me like you do with everyone else, and you lied to me."</p><p>"Gwyn please, it wasn't like that, I <em>do </em>trust you, I just, I was going to tell you, but then it was so long, and I thought it would just upset you to bring it up. Yes, I bought it for Elain, but it didn't make her happy, and I just wanted someone to be happy." He took another step towards her, something like devastation crossing his face when she shifted away, ready to run, and he stopped, "Elain didn't want to face her mating bond, either to accept or reject it, and she used me as a way to avoid it. I thought I wanted her, that she wanted me, but she wanted an escape, and thought I could provide it. I bought the necklace because I thought she would be happy, but I, Gwyn, there is nothing with her, and she gave it back when she realized that. I just wanted it to make someone happy. Clotho never told you it was from me, because it doesn't matter, I just told her to give it to someone who would be happy." Tears were shining in his eyes as he spoke, "I know I'm an idiot, you don't have to tell me that, and I know I can't fix it, but I'm sorry, I should have taken it back and bought you something different, but I wasn't thinking, and," he stopped, "I'm just sorry." It <em>had </em>made her happy, and she didn't know what to say. Perhaps she was overreacting, it was true that Clotho had never told her it was from him, and she supposed it didn't matter, but she unclipped it from around her neck,</p><p>"Then take it back now." A tear slid down his face as she passed the necklace to him, and he dropped his head, but before he could apologize again she continued, "Return it, and let's choose something different, together."</p><p>"You're not mad?"</p><p>"Oh, I'm furious, but not just because of you. I understand, I know what is to want to make someone happy, but you <em>do </em>make people happy, Az, you are more than just your job. I don't care what you've done, I just care that you're honest with me. You lied to me. That's what upset me, that, and I thought you preferred her."</p><p>"No, never."</p><p>"Let me finish. But mostly, I'm angry at her, she saw that I liked the necklace, that you had made someone happy with it, and she tried to ruin that. You should have got a different one, and you should have told me, but Elain shouldn't have tried to upset me with that, she was jealous, Az." Azriel smiled, and dropped to his knees in front of where she was still sitting on the bench, clasping her hands in his,</p><p>"I swear to you now, I will always tell you everything, always, Gwyn. No secrets." He gently kissed her hands, and she smiled, </p><p>"Thank you, that's all I ever wanted." The necklace was left on the bench when they returned to the dining room, where Elain was nowhere to be seen.</p><p>"Gwyn!" Nesta shot to her feet the moment they stepped through the door, glaring daggers at Azriel, "Are you okay? I'm so sorry, Elain, she was way out of line, I don't think she'll be coming back, I was pretty mad," Gwyn laughed at Nesta's explosive temper, but reassured her,</p><p>"I'm fine, stop it, it's not his fault, it was a misunderstanding, it's fine." Nesta narrowed her eyes at Azriel once more before relaxing,</p><p>"Don't ever pull that kind of shit again," she said,</p><p>"I have already sworn to never keep secrets from her." Nesta nodded, </p><p>"Good,  I won't have to cut your balls off then," Gwyn snorted and sat back down, apologizing to everyone for making a scene, but Mor just laughed,</p><p>"There's always something that goes a bit wrong, at least you two made up." Gwyn laughed, and stayed for the rest of dinner, her hand still clasped in Azriel's as they finished dessert, she didn't let go until they were in the air again. </p><p>"Where are we going?" The House was behind them as they flew, </p><p>"You'll see." Azriel chuckled, gently setting her down outside a shop, still open, even at this time, and pushed the door open, "Let me at least try to fix my mistake,"</p><p>"You don't have to. You apologized, and took responsibility, you're forgiven, it was a mistake."</p><p>"Let me do this." he repeated, "Neve! What do you have that would suit Gwyn?" A female popped her head up from behind the counter, studying her quickly, </p><p>"Perhaps something in emerald, one moment," Azriel led Gwyn to the counter,</p><p>"Pick whatever you want." Neve returned moments later, a pair of emerald earrings in hand, </p><p>"These are new, one of a kind, perfectly suited to your lady,"</p><p>"Oh, she's not-" Azriel started, but Gwyn smiled, stopping him before he could finish,</p><p>"They're beautiful, but they must be expensive?"</p><p>"That's alright." Azriel insisted, "Rhys massively overpays me."</p><p>"No, Azriel I can't accept this, I'll pay you back."</p><p>"It's a gift. For you. Please." Neve held the earrings up as if Gwyn were wearing them, and Azriel's breathing hitched, almost imperceptibly, </p><p>"Are you sure?"</p><p>"Yes. We'll take them."</p><p>"Excellent, I'll put the charge on your tab,"</p><p>"Thank you, Neve." Azriel helped her to put the earrings on, and grinned at her, "You look beautiful," he whispered before guiding her out of the shop, and flew her back to the House. Gwyn felt herself drifting off to sleep and buried her face in Azriel's shoulder, she was asleep within moments.</p><p>*****</p><p>Gwyn was asleep in his arms when he landed, and Azriel unconsciously hugged her closer, setting her down in her bed, stopping when she mumbled his name. He turned back, but she was still asleep, reaching across the bed to where he had been sat moments before. He was still there when she opened her eyes,</p><p>"Az?"</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>"Can you stay with me? I don't want to be alone tonight."</p><p>"Yeah, okay."</p><p>"Just turn around a moment, I need to change into a nightgown." He did as she asked, and quickly returned to his own room to grab a set of sleeping clothes and to move a few of his weapons into her room. When he got back, he made to pull the chair he had slept in before to the bed,  and Gwyn was already asleep, his shadows swirling around her,</p><p>
  <em>She's fine, get some sleep,</em>
</p><p>They whispered, and he settled down in the chair, sitting next to her all night.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm not sorry. I promise the next chapter will be less angsty, though.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Azriel was still asleep when she opened her eyes, his hair falling over his eyes as his head dropped onto the back of the chair, had he slept there all night? She couldn't think how he actually managed to fall asleep in a chair of all places. He opened his eyes as she sat up, </p><p>"Morning, sleepyhead," she laughed, and he yawned,</p><p>"Morni-" and yawned again, setting Gwyn laughing again,</p><p>"C'mere, you're hair's all messy." She leaned towards him, quickly tiding it up, brushing it backwards through her fingers, not quite registering how still he had gone until she had finished and sat back, "There we go, that's better," </p><p>"Thank you," he said, his voice much lower than usual, still with notes of sleep in it, she had never noticed it before, and she had to force herself to get up normally, and wash her face, without thinking about that voice. She stared into the mirror for a few moments, mentally preparing herself to face him again, "Gwyn, I'm gonna go and get dressed, I'll see you at breakfast."</p><p>"Okay," she shouted back, shit. How was the sound of his voice slowly shredding her self-control? It was just the change in his voice, nothing else, it couldn't be anything else she told herself. She was foolish to even consider it. </p><p>Apparently, Cassian and Nesta hadn't emerged yet, so it was just Gwyn and Azriel at the dining table that morning, forcing Gwyn to try to control her thoughts, to push any thoughts of him aside and focus on her food. She hated the silence, it felt wrong, unnatural, and she sighed, anything to break the stillness around them. Even that small sound seemed to wake Azriel,</p><p>"Gwyn," she looked up, startled, and smiled, "I just wanted to talk to you about what's going on in Illyria." Oh, she'd forgotten to ask Nesta, </p><p>"Okay,"</p><p>"I don't know how much Nesta's already told you,"</p><p>"I haven't had a chance to ask her yet, so very little."</p><p>"Okay, well, the bottom line is that there are those among the Illyrians who hate the changes Rhys has been implementing. Banning wing-clipping, and enforcing it, forcing them to train females, and putting systems in place for those who want help, so they can contact us easily, without their families knowing." Gwyn nodded, good, she'd heard about wing-clipping, seen what had happened to Emerie, it was about time it was finally gotten rid of, completely. </p><p>"Okay, so, some of them don't like it, then,"</p><p>"No, there are some who have been attempting to ignore the laws, and have failed," he added, seeing her worry, "And then there are those who are restless, hating that they fall under Rhys' jurisdiction. They want an independent Illyria, and freedom to treat their  females how they wish." Gwyn gasped,</p><p>"They wouldn't survive on their own, right? They don't have a unified leader, anyone who wanted would be able to invade easily, and their army is paid by Rhysand, they couldn't afford it otherwise."</p><p>"Exactly, that's why the wannabe rebels are a minority, but they are there. I promised you no secrets, it's no good trying to protect you from this. There's nothing that could happen in Velaris though, any potential fighting will be in Illyria."</p><p>"You're going to fight?" He'd only come back from another war a year ago, and she couldn't face the thought of him, of any of them, on a battlefield.</p><p>"Maybe. Hopefully it won't come to that. Hopefully, the loyal Illyrians will be able to stop a full rebellion before it starts. Most of them do support Rhys' new laws, but the minority are very vocal."</p><p>"You need to know who is stirring up violence then. And where, and how many, and how strong they are."</p><p>"Y-yeah, exactly, have you been reading about this?"</p><p>"No, why?"</p><p>"Never mind, it's just, you seem to know exactly what to look for, and at dinner last night, you were paying attention to everyone."</p><p>"I was just trying to work out what to talk about, I doubt I'd remember it."</p><p>"Oh, really, who was complaining, quietly I might add, about the wine running out?"</p><p>"Mor."</p><p>"Yeah, and what did Rhys say?"</p><p>"That it served her right for drinking all his best wine." Azriel raised an eyebrow,</p><p>"And Feyre?" </p><p>"Laughed at both of them, and called Rhysand a pretentious prick."</p><p>"So you don't remember anything?" Gwyn laughed,</p><p>"I don't know."</p><p>"You instincts are spot-on. It takes months of training for some of my spies to learn to listen to a room like that," he mused,</p><p>"Then train me."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Train me. To be a spy, maybe I can help with Illyria."</p><p>"Absolutely not, you've not even trained to fight for that long, I'm not letting you anywhere near rebellious Illyrians."</p><p>"That's stupid, Az. Train me to help, or at least to listen, I visit Emerie at Windhaven quite often, so I can at least help you get a picture of what it's like there, if nowhere else. Please, I want to be helpful, I'm done being useless."</p><p>"You've never been useless, Gwyn, and I <em>will </em>train you, but only so that you have an extra skill set to defend yourself, not so you can go and spy in Illyria." Gwyn huffed,</p><p>"Az. You're being stupid, stop trying to keep me safe, train me, and then let me use those skills."</p><p>*****</p><p>Gwyn was glaring at him, annoyance glimmering in her eyes, he <em>was</em> being stupid, but some part of him couldn't bear the thought of her in danger. She kept her gaze on him as she finished eating, giving him a chance to think,</p><p>"I won't say yes," Gwyn shot him another exasperated look, "But," he continued, "You can be a last resort, only if my usual spies can't get in, or can't find anything, then you can go." She narrowed her eyes, considering, and nodded,</p><p>"Perhaps Em has heard something, we should ask her today." Azriel nodded, and quickly tidied up their plates,</p><p>"You wanna help set up for training?" He grinned, "Should be fun today," Gwyn sat bolt upright,</p><p>"Oh no, no, I know that look, you're going to be mean, is there an obstacle course of something?"</p><p>"You'll have to come if you want to find out," he slipped out of the room, chuckling as she swore and scrambled out of her chair to follow him. Gwyn's eyes widened at the sight of the course he and Cassian had secretly set up last night before dinner,</p><p>"What is it?" She breathed, pretending to be nervous of it, but Azriel noticed how she was shifting her weight from foot to foot, how her voice raised in pitch slightly, she wasn't scared. She was excited,</p><p>"It's sort of an obstacle course, but this one simulates enemies, so Cass and I can both watch you fight, without one of us having to be the opponent. And, as a bonus, the second half is brilliant for silent movement training, which is what we'll work up to if you want lessons from me." Gwyn nodded gleefully, and Azriel chuckled at her excitement, "There's only a few things I need to get set up now, the moving parts and stuff. If you like, you can get the weapons racks out and ready while I do that."</p><p>As expected, Gwyn was right at the front of the queue to tackle the course, with Nesta and Emerie right behind her, she was bouncing on her toes, waiting, waiting,</p><p>"Go!" Cassian's shout spurred her into action, and she leaped over the wall obscuring the course from her view, immediately ducking the padded bar swinging towards her head. She kept light on her feet as she ducked and weaved between moving obstacles, one wrong step and she'd be sent flying. Gwyn kept her focus on one obstacle at a time, facing one, and moving to the next, she rolled sideways, and leaped onto a wall to avoid the final bar, and it slammed into the wood next to her. She gasped, and glared at Azriel, but he chuckled, it wouldn't have really hurt her if she hadn't moved, just left a bruise perhaps, but the near-miss spurred her on, and she sprinted for the next obstacle, but her undivided focus left her exposed for the first 'enemy' to knock her feet out from underneath her. Gwyn gasped and rolled, and Nesta craned her neck to try to see at the sound, glaring at Cassian, and mouthed something at him,</p><p>"She says that if Gwyn's hurt, she'll kill us both," Cassian whispered, and Azriel snorted,</p><p>"She can try," Gwyn had rolled forwards, her hands automatically raising into her guard, and she easily blocked the next blow from the padded gloves,</p><p>"Wait! Az, how do I win?" She shouted when she ducked past and landed a blow, but barely ducked the backhanded counter-strike,</p><p>"You run, Gwyn. Run!" He shouted, "You have to beat the obstacles whilst avoiding your enemies, try not to activate the rest of them," Gwyn shot him a look before taking off, and made it past the next obstacle, before another 'enemy' activated, and she was trapped between the two of them. Azriel deactivated them with a quick command to his shadows before they could hurt her, but she was still stuck,</p><p>"Azriel!" She shouted, "Make them move, you idiot!" He didn't respond, and just chuckled at her annoyance, "Azriel!" She snapped again, and he reset the course, offering her a hand over the fence to the training ring, and chuckled when she slapped it aside, climbing over herself,</p><p>"Not bad for a first try. But, you've got to be aware of your surroundings a bit more, focus on the obstacle, but be aware of the rest of them, both of those enemies were avoidable, in fact, all of them are. When I tested this yesterday, I didn't set any off, Cass set off a few, but you should be able to avoid all of them. You're smaller than us, more agile, use that to your advantage." Gwyn nodded, and grinned when he marked her place, "Beat that next time."</p><p>Nesta came within spitting distance of Gwyn's record, a sprained ankle as she underestimated the distance of a jump sending her sprawling to the floor. She was still leaning against Cassian as he fussed whilst Emerie ran the course, only losing when a wing clipped an obstacle, knocking her off balance. She swore, but scrambled over the fence to join her sisters to watch the other females.</p><p>"Make sure you cool off, ladies," Azriel called, "Gwyn, you're with me," he stepped aside to a quiet corner of the ring. "First off, I want you to learn to move silently, it should be easy here, there's no stones to move, or creaky floorboards. Go and stand by the wall, and try to reach me without my hearing you."</p><p>"Your shadows-"</p><p>"They won't betray you, I honestly think they'd rather betray me than you," Gwyn snorted, "Make sure you place your feet carefully, and move slower than you think you need to." Gwyn nodded and Azriel turned his back, waiting for her footsteps to halt as she reached the wall. Ten meters. That was all she needed to cross. She took a deep breath, and fell silent, but after what must have been only a few steps, she rushed, placing a foot too quickly, and Azriel whirled, "Start again, you rushed, move slowly," Gwyn alerted him quickly three more times, groaning in exasperation each time he sent her back to the start, but gradually she started getting closer, only her excitement getting the better of her. She was one step away from him when she scuffed the ground,</p><p>"No!" she hissed when Azriel turned to face her, "I can do it, I can."</p><p>"I know you can, don't celebrate too early, that's the only issue." Gwyn sighed, and started again, this time remaining silent until she poked him in the shoulder and let out a whoop of delight, grinning at him, and he laughed. She was shining, and his heart leapt with her, his shadows too, her joy becoming his own, and she practically bounced up to him and beamed up at him. There was just something about her, her mere presence lifted his worries, and let his shadows roam, not constrained, but freed. She didn't chase them off as Elain had, or even Mor, she made them <em>sing</em>. He blinked, and realized he'd been staring, so coughed, and forced himself to look away, "Grab a sword, practice your basic movements silently." </p><p>Gwyn picked everything up remarkably quickly, it had only taken her half an hour to reach him, and now she was already adapting that technique to the swordplay, even moving the sword silently through the air. Azriel had begun coaching her through it, but now he too fell silent, just watching her, only occasionally offering pointers, and stopped her when he noticed her swings slowing down, her breathing speeding up,</p><p>"Go jog a lap, then stretch off, that's enough for today." Azriel stayed to watch, making sure she cooled off completely before leaving her to bathe and change, he should have reports to read from all his spies by now anyway, and Rhys would want an overview this evening.</p><p>*****</p><p>Gwyn toweled her hair off, and for the first time since she could remember, she had no work to do, Merrill hadn't sent her any messages, any demands more like, and she didn't feel like just sitting and reading on her own. She grabbed her book off her nightstand, and went to find Nesta, but made a face when she heard suspect noises from her friend's room, turning on her heel and heading back the way she had come. She still didn't want to be alone, so she knocked on Azriel's door, and pushed it open at the grunt from inside,</p><p>"Can I sit with you, Nesta is, uh, y'know, and I don't want to be on my own. I won't disturb you," she added, noticing the paperwork on his desk, and he smiled,</p><p>"Of course, it's just reports to go through,"</p><p>"Anything interesting?"</p><p>"No. Not yet, but I've only read through a couple, hopefully someone will have something." Gwyn nodded, and settled into an armchair to read. They fell into a comfortable silence, each reading their own material, at ease in each other's company.</p><p>As time wore on, Azriel's brows scrunched together, and he narrowed his eyes, even his shadows seemed agitated as they flitted between the two of them. Gwyn set her book aside, and crossed to his side, gently resting a hand on his shoulder,</p><p>"What's the matter?"</p><p>"Nothing important," he offered her a small smile, "Don't worry," Gwyn squeezed his shoulder softly,</p><p>"Az, what is it? Even if I can't help, let me take some of the burden. I won't pretend to know what your job's like, but please, let me help however I can."</p><p>"You are helping, by being here, by being safe, you're helping. I have so many people to worry about," he raised the papers, "I can't easily protect them, but you, and the rest of you here, I can keep you safe here. That burden lessens when you're all here." Gwyn softly cleared a spot on the desk, tiding the unusually messy papers, and sat in front of him,</p><p>"Did something go wrong?"</p><p>"No, I'm just worried it might, honestly, Gwyn, I'm fine." Gwyn narrowed her eyes disbelievingly but before she had a chance to respond, Azriel pushed his chair backwards, and made for the door, "I need to clear my head a bit, I'll be back in a bit."</p><p>"Oh, okay," of course he didn't want her help, she was probably just a nuisance, she couldn't possibly understand the stresses he faced on a daily basis. If he needed help he'd ask Cassian, she should leave him alone. But, even as she allowed him time, something made her feet move, made her climb the stairs to the roof.</p><p>The stars were beautiful, shining together, and she relaxed at the familiar sight, counting the stars as she had since she was a little girl. She stopped moving at the sight of another figure sitting on the edge of the roof, hunched over, his knees drawn up to his chest, with his great,beautiful wings drooping behind him. Gwyn made her presence known as she crossed the roof and sat beside him,</p><p>"Az," she whispered, and put an arm around his shoulders, "Please. Talk to me." he shook his head, staring into the distance still, even as a wing shifted closer to her, "What's wrong?" He just turned to face her, his beautiful face filled with despair, his eyes, usually so full of life were dimmed, empty. Gwyn moved before she knew what she was doing, cupping his face in her hand, and he leaned into the touch, "What happened?" She breathed,</p><p>"Nothing. That's the problem. Nothing. I can't even do my job." He broke off and turned away, but Gwyn turned him back,</p><p>"Talk to me."</p><p>"Rhys has a meeting with all the Camp Lords tomorrow, it could be the make or break moment for the rebellion. I was supposed to get information, who tries to fight his new laws, who wants to fight back, you know. I have nothing. He's going in blind. It's my fault, I failed him. Again." Tears pricked Gwyn's eyes at the despair in his voice, the self-loathing. </p><p>"You didn't fail anyone. You did everything you could."</p><p>"I could have gone in myself."</p><p>"To Illyria? They'd have clammed up completely at the slightest whiff that you were there. You have to trust your spies, and sometimes they won't find anything, and it isn't your fault."</p><p>"I couldn't even get them in to some camps."</p><p>"Again, <em>they</em> couldn't get in, not you. They work for you, but something that goes wrong on their end does not mean that you let anyone down. Sometimes things go wrong, and no-one is to blame."</p><p>"I can't keep letting him down."</p><p>"You don't keep letting him down. You could never let him down."</p><p>"I did. I wasn't with him when he went to that meeting. I could have stopped it." Gwyn knew the meeting he was talking about, "There was no-one to sniff his drink, if I had been there, she would never have been able to sink her claws into him." Gwyn just nestled into his side, letting him talk, "Fifty years, Gwyn. I failed to find a way to save him for fifty years! And then when he got back, <em>I</em> got injured at Hybern, <em>I</em> forced Feyre to go back to Spring. <em>I </em>am the reason that he almost lost his mate as soon as he found her. I should have known that the queens were after Feyre's sisters in the first place, but I failed them, too." Gwyn rubbed his shoulder, holding his gaze as he spoke, "I was too slow in the battle, he <em>died</em> because I couldn't help."</p><p>"No." Gwyn breathed, "He died to heal the Cauldron, you couldn't have done anything."</p><p>"Yes, I could. I was with Helion, his specialty is spellwork. If I'd gotten him there faster, they could have worked together."</p><p>"You got him there fast enough to revive him."</p><p>"But without Feyre, we never would have had the chance. I can't risk something happening again, for all I know, they might all attack him at the meeting. He'd be fine, but still, I should know if there's a plan like that." Azriel finally stopped for a breath, his gaze returning a little, actually looking at her, not just seeing.</p><p>"Az, you have done everything and more that anyone could possibly expect. Plan for what might happen, with what you have, but we can't use what we don't have, so don't beat yourself up about it. Please." It broke her, seeing him like this, miserable, thinking he didn't deserve everything he had built for himself. She couldn't bear the thought of him suffering, alone, thinking that he'd failed those he loved most. Before she could reconsider, she was singing, singing the only song she knew would help him, his mother's lullaby,</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Arrorró mi niño</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Arrorró mi sol</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Duérmase pedazo</em>
</p><p>
  <em>De mi corazón</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Cierre los ojitos</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ya se va a dormir</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Que el pícaro sueño</em>
</p><p>
  <em>No quiere venir.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Azriel's gaze remained on her as she sang, his breathing becoming more regular, until his shadows began to dance. She was still leaning against his side when the song finished, and she started again, tears pricking her eyes when he joined in, no hint of the misery left in his voice, just hope.</p><p>"Let's get to bed, it's late," she whispered, and Azriel didn't complain as she led him back to his room, but when she turned to leave, she couldn't. He needed her now. She perched on the bed beside him, setting a pillow against the wall, and sang again, stroking his hair as he drifted off to sleep, his head in her lap.</p><p>*****</p><p>Azriel actually felt rested for the first time in far too long, his mind clear, focused, and he carefully lifted Gwyn into his arms. She snuggled into him as he carried her back to her own room, leaving her sleeping, safe in her own bed. He left her a note,</p><p>
  <em>Gone with Rhys to the meeting, I'll be back this evening. Thank you.</em>
</p><p>He stole one last look at Gwyn's sleeping form before slipping away.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm so sorry this is so late guys! I totally forgot to update on here as well!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Azriel fought the urge to fidget, waiting, hidden in the shadows at the back of the room, not all the camp lords were even here yet, but they were still complaining. A clock in the corner struck nine and, almost as one, heads turned to the doorway, to Rhys' form appearing there, right on time. Azriel dispelled the shadows, and almost grinned at the clear surprise of some camp lords, and the outright fear of others, those who'd been toeing the line of outright treason. The moment Rhys stepped into the room, the camp lords stood, some smiled at him, others remained neutral, but there were a few who were glaring at him as if he were the greatest evil they'd ever seen. Rhys waved it all off, taking his seat at the head of the table,</p><p>"Sit down, and let's get on with it." Silence still reigned over the table as Azriel stalked across the room to stand behind Rhys, a hand casually resting on Truthteller's hilt at his side. "I believe there are some issues that you wish to discuss," Rhys started, but silenced an overeager lord with a look, "And I will listen, but my decision on matters will be final, is that understood?" He was met by begrudging nods and allowed the first lord to speak, </p><p>"Thank you, High Lord." Good, at least this one hadn't forgotten his manners. Azriel fought the instinct to glare at Ironcrest's camp lord, the arrogant shit that he was, "I do have some concerns about some of your new rules,"</p><p>"Laws." Azriel corrected him, "You don't get to belittle laws you don't like."</p><p>"My apologies, about your new laws. My daughter, she now has to train with the boys, and wear leathers, I can see them looking at her, and it disgusts me. I have to protect her, but I cannot if you insist that she is trained with the boys." Rhys nodded slowly,</p><p>"I understand your concern, but, that is exactly why she should be trained, so that you don't need to protect her all the time. Can she hold her own in a fight?"</p><p>"Yes, but-"</p><p>"Then you don't need to worry, but I will consider allowing all-female training sessions for those who prefer, and," he added seeing the uproar that was about to kick off, "I will ensure a plan is made to avoid limiting training time for males and the females who are happy to train with them." The camp lord narrowed his eyes for a moment, considering, but sat down, Azriel knew better than to believe he was actually happy, but there was no other way for him to push back. It seemed that, for now at least, he would be content. The moment he sat down another stood to take his place,</p><p>"You might be content to see your girls fighting, but I am not. I do not care that your mate fights, High Lord, it is not in females' nature to fight, they will get hurt, and will be unable to do the jobs that they are supposed to do."</p><p>"What? Get married and breed?" Rhys raised an eyebrow as he spoke, "I'd consider your answer very carefully,"</p><p>"No, but someone has to maintain the camps, do the cooking, make clothes, look after children. Males train and fight full-time, there is no time for that, females fighting is ridiculous, when that isn't what they are designed to do."</p><p>"Again, I do understand that you worry about the integrity of your camp, but, I assure you, with both males and females helping with household chores, there is ample time to train and maintain a home."</p><p>"I don't think you understand the time it takes, High Lord, it can't be done."</p><p>"It can be done, with <em>both </em>males and females helping. Cassian probably works and trains more than all of you, and his mate matches him minute for minute, but they still find time to cook, clean the House, and spend time with their family." The camp lord struggled for words for a moment, "I will have plans written up to help with this if needed, but give yourselves some time to adjust, and teach your sons how to help their sisters and mothers." The camp lord nodded, not quite satisfied, but contented again. Azriel almost winced, if only he knew exactly what they wanted, what exactly Rhys could do to prevent them from rebelling, neither of the two lords who had spoken were really happy, they were just going to wait until Rhys made a wrong move, and strike.</p><p>Azriel watched silently, glaring at anyone who liked like he might start violence, and stepped closer to Rhys, ready to step in front of him if needed, but the room stilled when Ironcrest's camp lord stepped up,</p><p>"High Lord," he slightly inclined his head to Rhys, in a mockery of a bow, "Hello, Shadowsinger," he chuckled, "Our ability to protect our people comes from our ability to maintain order," each word was carefully chosen but Azriel knew what he really meant, he wanted to be able to control his people, "For protecting our females, that means keeping them in the camp, where they are safe, now they will be tempted to fly somewhere they cannot be protected, where no male knows where they are. We must keep them in the camp for their own safety, and not tempt them with flight elsewhere, into danger." Azriel almost snarled,</p><p>"Safety? Is that what you call it?" Rhys chuckled, "I call it control, and it makes you no better than those fae who kept humans as slaves, but you at least convince your enslaved people into thinking that you want to protect them. You don't fool me, but, since the threat of a female not being to defend herself outside of the camps is genuine, you have brought up the exact reason for my insistence that they also train." The lord's face fell for a moment,</p><p>"If they fight, they might start to think that they can lead,"</p><p>"They can lead, unless you're worried that you might become dispensable." The lord chuckled, </p><p>"Of course not, but I will not have my females thinking that they are more than what they are."</p><p>"And what is that?" Rhys' voice was a low warning,</p><p>"Wives and mothers, homekeepers, not warriors, that is and has always been, a male role, I will not allow you to destroy our culture." With that he stood and left, leaving silence in his wake,</p><p>"Anyone who tries to ignore any laws will be punished as such, if help is needed to adjust it can be provided, or if there are genuine concerns outside of 'females' place' do send me a letter, and I will address them as best I can." Rhys then stood, and rested a hand on Azriel's shoulder, winnowing them both back to Velaris.</p><p>Azriel almost stumbled on hitting the ground outside the River House,</p><p>"I'm sorry," he muttered, and Rhys blinked,</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"That was awful, you should have known exactly what they wanted and how to truly avoid a war, that just delayed it."</p><p>"I know enough to know that truly avoiding a war is near impossible,"</p><p>"But not impossible, not with the right intel."</p><p>"Az, you did everything right, anything more drastic would have been noticed," he placed a hand on Azriel's shoulder, "You didn't think you'd find much, don't worry," Azriel turned away,</p><p>"I didn't expect much, but I expected something, you shouldn't have had to go in there blind." </p><p>"Az, really, it's fine, your spies not being able to find anything tells us something else, we know at least that they're all being very careful with what they say, that they don't trust their own, and can't be unified." That was true, and Azriel nodded, "C'mon, we've got to make a plan, Feyre's waiting, and Cass will be here soon."</p><p>"No Nesta?"</p><p>"No, she'd already planned to go with Gwyn to visit Emerie." What? Rhys didn't miss the flash of worry in his eyes, "It's okay, Emerie says there's no hint of rebellion there, Mor dropped them off right at her house, and saw them go inside, no-one will attack them inside." Ariel nodded again and pushed the door open,</p><p>"Hold him," Feyre immediately brushed past him, dumping Nyx into his arms as she ran for the nearest bathroom. Azriel wrinkled his nose at the unmistakable scent of vomit, he held Nyx at arms length as the baby gurgled and hiccuped, still smelling, and Rhys chuckled behind him,</p><p>"He's not going to explode you know,"</p><p>"I know, he smells,"</p><p>"He's a baby, they smell." Azriel still held Nyx slightly away from his chest, but smiled when he narrowed his eyes, going still and then trying to leap for a shadow on Azriel's shoulder. With Nyx's tiny wings flapping, Azriel only just managed to catch him before he fell. </p><p>"Well he definitely takes after you, Mr Reckless." Rhys grinned again, and Azriel followed him through to the nursery, putting Nyx down and sending shadows racing around him, Nyx's shouts of joy as he chased them almost taking his mind off Illyria, almost, but not quite,</p><p>"Thanks, Az." Feyre grinned when she reappeared, armed with Velaris' best cleaning supplies as she made a beeline for her son, tickling him as she tried to clean him up, making faces at him to make him laugh and let her finish cleaning him. "Good boy," she muttered before releasing him to crawl after the shadows again. She flopped onto a couch next to Rhys, and he automatically threw an arm around her shoulders, "Meeting go well?"</p><p>"As well as we could have expected, they're all content for now, still grumbling, but they haven't got a decent excuse yet," Rhys explained, "We just need to brainstorm a few ideas about next steps now, so we can be prepared."</p><p>*****</p><p>Gwyn stifled a laugh as Nesta almost snorted out her mouthful of hot cocoa at Emerie's comment about one of their most recent books,</p><p>"He's not evil," she protested, "He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, that's all."</p><p>"Wrong place at the wrong time?" Emerie snorted, "He's literally a war criminal!"</p><p>"Well, I think he's got potential, he just needs to see an alternative." Nesta insisted, and looked over to Gwyn, "C'mon, back me up,"</p><p>"I think," Gwyn narrowed her eyes, "That we don't really know him well enough to make a proper judgement, he could literally be evil, or he could be hiding his motives, perhaps it'll be clearer in the next book." Nesta cheered, and finished her mug of cocoa, staring triumphantly at Emerie,</p><p>"She didn't agree with you, either, Nes!" She shouted after her as she ran off to the kitchen to refill her mug, and grinned when she returned,</p><p>"Anyway," Gwyn started, "Enough about fictional males, how's mated life treating you? We haven't had a proper discussion yet." Nesta snorted,</p><p>"I've only been back for a few days,"</p><p>"Still," Gwyn raised an eyebrow, and Nesta laughed,</p><p>"It's like, well you know what we were like before, it's like that, but somehow more, with the bond there, really there, everything is so much more intense, y'know."</p><p>"Not really," Emerie smiled, "Care to enlighten us?"</p><p>"You know when you love someone so much that when they're not there, you constantly want to check that they're okay?" Both Emerie and Gwyn nodded, Catrin, Gwyn had loved her that much, differently to how Nesta loved Cassian, but she had loved her so much. "It's more than that, it's like looking in a mirror, like seeing my soul reflected in his eyes."</p><p>"And the sex is good, yes?" Emerie chuckled, and Nesta blushed, trying to dodge the question,</p><p>"You have no idea," she finally muttered, earning a howl of laughter from Emerie, "Right after you mate, there's like a pull, and well,"</p><p>"Don't tell me you spent your whole honeymoon having sex?" Emerie giggled gleefully, enjoying this conversation far too much,</p><p>"Not all of it!" Nesta insisted, "We went to a little house in the mountains, Cass built it himself a while ago, right after Rhysand became high lord, it was the first time he'd ever been able to buy anything himself, so he bought the materials for that house." Gwyn smiled, "It's right by a lake, and when the sky's clear, and there's no wind, it looks like a mirror, like the stars and moon are shining up rather than down."</p><p>"It sounds beautiful," Gwyn mused, </p><p>"It is, and, I don't think he noticed, but when we went down to the lake one evening, some of the stars, they crested just over his wings, and almost looked like a set of armor, but then it disappeared, right as he pointed out some of the constellations, Enalius, he's the one I remember best, but there was a lion one, and a pegasus, and," Nesta paused, and pursed her lips, trying to remember, "And, oh a wolf. And then, he picked me up, and flew above the trees, and the stars were shining over the mountains in the distance. We picked a star. It's our star, whenever I look at it, I have to think of him, and when he looks at it he has to think of me. I know it's a bit lovey-dovey, but I like having that, even when he's not right here."</p><p>"I think it's cute," Gwyn squeezed Nesta's hand, "I'm gonna get some more marshmallows," she gestured to the dismally boring mugs of cocoa, and slipped off to the kitchen, and swore when she saw that they'd run out, "Em!" She shouted up the stairs, "You got any more marshmallows?"</p><p>"Yeah, there's some in the parlor at the side of the house, I think," Emerie shouted back, before howling with laughter, presumably at Nesta's expense, and Gwyn chuckled to herself as she stepped outside, the cold air nipping at her face as she quickly skirted round the house, keeping an eye out before rummaging through to find the marshmallows.</p><p>A hand clamped over her mouth, and muffled Gwyn's scream as she was dragged backwards, no, no, no, she couldn't, not again, tears pricked her eyes as she fought desperately to regain her balance, her panic clouding her mind. She forced herself to stop, to take a deep breath in. It was dark, no-one else was around, Nesta and Emerie were too far away to help her. She glanced around as much as she could, there, Emerie had a wood-chopping block set up, and the axe was still there. She relaxed, and stopped struggling, waiting for her attacker to grow complacent. He didn't, just tugged her tighter against him,</p><p>"You're one of the bitches who thought that females can fight," a voice hissed in her ear, "We'll see what our 'oh so powerful' High Lord thinks when he finds out we have you." Gwyn shivered in fear, slowly trying to loosen his grip on her, but the moment he slightly let go, he spun her around and threw her to the floor, she was several hundred meters from the house now, even if she screamed nobody would hear her. Right as she tried to get up, he kicked her hands out from underneath her, pinning her wrists to the floor. She couldn't breathe. This was it. She was going to die, right here, right now, she was going to die. "Pathetic," the male hissed, "Girls like you should know better than to go outside in the dark on your own, even if the camp is loyal, some of us don't agree with the new laws." Gwyn ignored him, focusing on keeping her breathing slow, but each time he adjusted his grip on her, it sped back up. She had to distract herself, something happy. Nesta smiling, Emerie laughing, male in the dark. It wasn't working, miniature pegasus, male in the dark. Baby Nyx, male in the dark. Azriel. Azriel smiling, Azriel laughing, Azriel singing, Azriel holding her, flying over Velaris, Azriel teaching her silent fighting, Azriel, Azriel, Azriel.</p><p>Gwyn surged upwards, flipping the male off, and sprinted for the axe, wrenching it out of the wood, and hurled it at her assailant, only turning back in her mad sprint for the safety of the house at his grunt of pain. He stumbled, blood seeping out through his leathers as he inspected the gash in his thigh,</p><p>"Bitch," he hissed, and Gwyn flew for the door, latching it behind her,</p><p>"Nesta! Emerie!" Gwyn screamed, backing away from the door, Nesta was the first down the stairs, "We have a problem, call Cassian now, get someone here to fetch us early, he'll break down the door soon." True to her words, a banging started on the doors, and stopped, but then intensified, oh shit, he had the axe, she'd practically given it to him, and he was going to kill them. "You have any weapons, Em?" Emerie silently shook her head, </p><p>"Only kitchen knives,"</p><p>"That'll do," Nesta muttered, "C'mon, we should be ready for when he gets in." Gwyn followed Nesta into the kitchen, quite happy to let her plan, and position them all. The banging stopped, he was in, but then there was a thump, and the door squeaked open, so it was still on its hinges,</p><p>"Nesta? Gwyn? Emerie?" Mor. Gwyn stood out of her hiding place, and Emerie ran for Mor, her wings almost knocking them both off their feet as she crashed into Mor's arms,</p><p>"Thank the gods," she muttered, "We thought we were going to have to fight him off with cutlery." Mor snorted,</p><p>"Not on my watch, let's get out of here." Emerie wrapped her arms around Mor's waist, and Nesta and Gwyn each held an arm, only letting go once they reached the House of Wind, "There's not a spare room here, there's already one in the townhouse though, I'll stay with you if you prefer, Em." Emerie smiled and nodded,</p><p>"Yeah, okay, thanks." And held on to Mor as she winnowed them away again. Gwyn had barely registered arriving before Cassian hurtled through the door, and cupped Nesta's face in his hands,</p><p>"Are you hurt? Who tried to hurt you? I'll kill him, I'll kill him." Nesta reached up to cup his face,</p><p>"I'm fine, I'm fine Cass, no-one touched me, Mor was there quickly enough." Cassian gathered her into his chest,</p><p>"I'm never leaving your side again," he muttered, kissing the top of her head, and Gwyn almost wanted to leave, but that felt more awkward,</p><p>"That's a bit dramatic," Nesta giggled,</p><p>"I mean it, sweetheart, I'm going nowhere, from now on, I get to tag along on girls night." Nesta snorted again,</p><p>"Only if you let us braid your hair."</p><p>"Deal." Gwyn's attention was drawn away by a little noise behind her, and she turned to find Azriel waiting,</p><p>"How long have you been there?" She asked, and he shrugged,</p><p>"I didn't want to startle you," Gwyn just wrapped her arms around his neck, raising herself on her tiptoes just to reach, "Are you okay?" He muttered, noting the mud all over her clothes,</p><p>"Yeah, just a bit shaken, he didn't get a chance to actually hurt me, just scared me a bit." Azriel nodded, and squeezed around her waist a little, "I panicked," she admitted, "All the training we've been doing, and the first time I got ambushed, I panicked."</p><p>"That's okay, it's normal, you still got away, that's still great." Gwyn sighed,</p><p>"I suppose, but what if it happens again, I mean it was a male in the dark, and I just froze," tears formed in her eyes when Azriel gently tipped her chin up to look at him, </p><p>"That is normal, Gwyn. You did so, so well by realizing that you were panicking and working through it to escape, you did, I am so proud of you for that." Gwyn smiled, just a little, but it made Azriel grin at her, "Do that again."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Smile." She did,</p><p>"Thank you, Az." She mumbled, letting him lead her back to her rooms and draw up a bath. He stayed sat on the bed while she washed, talking gently, almost nonsense, but his voice, just his voice chased away the remaining fear, and Gwyn found that she <em>was</em> exhausted, and was almost asleep when she flopped into bed, barely registering when Azriel brushed her hair out of her face and kissed her brow gently before leaving her to sleep. Gwyn tried to call out his name, to ask him to stay, but he was gone, and sleep claimed her quickly.</p><p>Tired as she was, dreams plagued her sleep, dreams of faceless males, in the dark, dreams that she hadn't had in years, dreams of Catrin's face, smiling and laughing, then crying silently in fear, dreams of the younglings she had to protect before they shared her sister's fate. Her eyes flew open right as that Hybern commander's face appeared in her dreams. She stumbled to the bathroom, staring straight into the mirror.</p><p>
  <em>I'm safe.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It's over.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I'm in Velaris.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I'm safe.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It's over.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I'm in Velaris.</em>
</p><p>It wasn't working, her usual calming ritual wasn't working, she couldn't calm herself down, she splashed her face with water, deep breaths, deep breaths. The bed was drenched in sweat when she returned, sweat that felt like blood, Catrin's blood, just like the nightgown clinging to her skin now. Gwyn stepped back into the bathroom, and cleaned herself up before changing into a new nightgown. When she returned to the bed, it was clean, new sheets in place,</p><p>"Thank you," she whispered, just about managing to fall asleep until a voice filled her dreams</p><p>
  <em>That one's mine.</em>
</p><p>Gwyn hurled herself out of bed, she had to get out, she had to just get away, she threw the door open, a sob rising in her chest as he eyes fell on the door across from hers, as the scent from that room reached her. Male, but safe, male, but safe, male, but she didn't fear it, no, she didn't fear it, she loved it<em>.</em> She threw the door open, the sobs finally forcing their way out of her as she ran for Azriel. She sobbed as she crawled onto the bed, into his arms, and buried her face in his chest,</p><p>"Az," she sobbed, and he mumbled gently to her, she couldn't quite make out the words, but his voice was calm, soothing, and she snuggled into him, "I had a nightmare," she muttered by way of an explanation, and Azriel gently stroked her hair, "About Sangravah, I was scared."</p><p>"You're safe here," he mumbled, "I'm right here, no-one can touch you, not while I'm here." She nodded and sniffed again, fear dissipating with every word he spoke, and giggling when a shadow wrapped around her, </p><p>"They're protecting me," she giggled, and gradually drifted back to sleep, nightmares held at bay as she slept this time. She was safe here, with him. Gwyn slept the whole night snuggled against Azriel's chest, safe in his arms.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Second one this week, I'm stuck for spring break and I'm bored, so here we go.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Azriel hadn't moved all night, and Gwyn hadn't stirred in his arms, she was still sleeping soundly, snuggled into his chest. Azriel cradled her against him, waiting for her to wake up on her own. She showed no signs of waking even an hour later, and they'd soon be late to training, not to mention his wing was cramping up from where she'd wriggled slightly onto it half an hour ago. He subtly sent a shadow to open the blinds, sending sunlight flooding into the room, bathing everything in a rosy glow. Gwyn scrunched up her nose, hiding her face against him, the light making her stir and blink open her eyes. She froze as she realized where she was, but smiled, and released Azriel's wing,</p><p>"Sorry," she mumbled, "You should have just shoved me off, y'know,"</p><p>"I didn't want to wake you," he muttered, brushing the hair out of her face, "You were so calm,"</p><p>"I was asleep, so obviously,"</p><p>"Still, I didn't want to incur the wrath of waking you, either,"</p><p>"I'm not that bad!" She protested,</p><p>"Oh really?" He chuckled, "Nesta told me one time you launched a full-on pillow assault because she woke you at the time you usually get up." Gwyn glared at him,</p><p>"Nesta needs to mind her own business," she mumbled, "I was tired." Azriel snorted, and got up, ignoring Gwyn's squawk of complaint,</p><p>"I thought I was supposed to push you off, make up your mind," he laughed, turning to grab a set of leathers from the wardrobe,</p><p>
  <em>Duck</em>
</p><p>
  <em>What?</em>
</p><p>A pillow smacked him in the back of the head, and he turned to find Gwyn grinning triumphantly at him from where she sat on the bed. She squeaked and dived under the duvet when he picked up the pillow and tossed it into the air a few times, before throwing it back at the lump under the duvet,</p><p>"Asshole!" Came the muffled response, and he chuckled before ducking into the bathroom to change, grunting when his face met another pillow the moment he returned. Gwyn giggled, and threw another one that he barely managed to dodge, before crossing to the bed and grabbing the last pillow off her. He chuckled when she dived off the bed, grabbing the pillows she had thrown earlier. She threw one, and then pounced, smacking him with the pillow again and again, until he laughed, </p><p>"I surrender! You win, oh mighty Valkyrie." Gwyn huffed, and let him up, grinning to herself as she ran out of the room to get her own leathers. Azriel chuckled to himself as she ran out,</p><p>
  <em>Ask her to dinner.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>What? No, don't be stupid.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ask. Her. To. Dinner.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Stay out of this, just do your jobs.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Our job is to help you. We're helping you. Ask her to dinner.</em>
</p><p>Gwyn returned before he could respond, </p><p>"Az, you're supposed to be teaching, it'd be <em>absolutely disgraceful</em> if you were late." Gwyn sauntered back out, leaving Azriel to roll his eyes and follow her. </p><p>*****</p><p>Nesta was already there when Gwyn reached the training ring, </p><p>"Are you planning anything today?" She asked, and Nesta shook her head,</p><p>"I was supposed to have lunch with Elain, but she's still not speaking to me after I shouted at her."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"For upsetting you. She's mad, thinks I should be mad at you for being happy, and Az for being an idiot." Azriel winced as he overheard their conversation. "I shouted at her after you left, made her cry actually." Gwyn glanced away,</p><p>"I'm sorry, I don't want to be the cause of conflict between you."</p><p>"Oh you're not, Elain deciding to be a petty bitch is the cause, she's just picking a fight because she's upset that Az isn't following her around any more." He what?</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>"Well, he used to fancy her,"</p><p>"Used to?"</p><p>"He hasn't made any sort of move for ages, and she's never had to go for anything before, so she's a bit put out by it, I think. She doesn't dislike you, don't worry, I think she's just a bit all over the place at the moment." Gwyn nodded, and glanced towards Azriel, setting up the obstacle course again with Cassian. He'd stopped going after Elain. Nesta groaned as she followed Gwyn's eye line, "Cass has been being so annoying about that damned obstacle course, we've got to beat it, beat him." Nesta grinned at Cassian, casually rotating her wrist, and sending her sword flashing through the air. Cassian snorted with laughter, and shook his head,</p><p>"Save the swordplay for later, sweetheart." Nesta lost her rhythm, and narrowed her eyes at him, leaving Gwyn struggling to contain her laughter at Cassian's grin as Nesta flushed at the promise in his eyes. Nesta was saved from further embarrassment by Mor and Emerie's arrival, and Emerie grinned when Mor said something quietly, vanishing moments later,  leaving Emerie quickly explaining at Nesta's questioning glance,</p><p>"The brace is finished, Mor's gone to fetch it, and she's staying for training today." Gwyn didn't miss Emerie's grin each time she said Mor's name, but didn't comment on it either, turning her attention to the obstacle course facing her. She let a few others go first this time, focusing on listening. With each female taking on the course, Gwyn remembered Azriel's words, listening for their footsteps, the slight changes in direction, whether they were louder or quieter, running or walking, or fighting. When her turn came, she had a reasonable idea of what the course looked like, up to a point at least.</p><p>For the most part, she was right, and easily navigated the first half, before having to slow down, to pay closer attention to the obstacles. She focused on one at a time, but kept listening and  checking for any new ones, any potential 'enemies'. She passed her previous marker, and almost reached the end before the wooden beam she'd been running across gave way, and she collapsed to the floor, her wrist twisting unpleasantly beneath her. She squeaked in pain, and scrambled backwards as the beam fell, slamming into the ground where she'd been moments earlier.</p><p>"Shit!" A shadow was already swirling around her wrist, even as Azriel sprinted across the ring to reach her, a blue shield flaring up when another chunk of wood fell towards her. She scrambled to her feet, inspecting her wrist as she moved, it wasn't broken, sprained maybe, but nothing more. "Are you hurt?" Azriel gripped her elbow, tugging her towards him as he met her halfway across the ring,</p><p>"Not really, just hurt my wrist a bit." Azriel's attention snapped to the wrist in question, a shadow still circling it, and heaved a sigh of relief,</p><p>"It's not broken,"</p><p>"I know that, dumbass, I just fell funny on it, what happened? It wasn't supposed to break was it?"</p><p>"No, no it wasn't." Cassian was already at the faulty obstacle, and shouted back to Azriel,</p><p>"It's been tampered with, there's a bit of damage here as well," he ran a hand over the next obstacle, and locked eyes with Azriel, "This came from Illyria." Gwyn looked to Azriel, his face cold, almost unreadable, but a muscle twitched next to his eye, he was worried. She gently rubbed the hand still holding her elbow,</p><p>"It's okay, no-one got hurt."</p><p>"This time, who knows what might happen next time, that beam could have killed you."</p><p>"It didn't, I moved, we'll just have to closely inspect everything before every session." Azriel nodded, his siphons fading from the brilliant cobalt blue that they had been a few moments ago to a more subdued color, light no longer shining from them. He stepped back from Gwyn, running his gaze over her, from head to toe, and she let him ascertain for himself that she wasn't hurt, "I'm fine, Az." She muttered,</p><p>"Perhaps we should do something else today," Gwyn nodded, and let him lead her away from the obstacle course.</p><p>*****</p><p>Azriel fought the panic at seeing Gwyn in danger, she was safe, she was unharmed, mostly. She sat onto a bench by the wall and Azriel mumbled for her to wait a moment, not quite paying attention until he had grabbed their medical kit, and found the bandages inside,</p><p>"Az, I'm fine," Gwyn insisted, but didn't stop him from binding her wrist, and she caught his hands as he finished, her own tiny beside his, barely covering them as she smiled at him, "Thank you."</p><p>"Probably best if you avoid using it too much for now, you're lucky it's your left, you'll still be able to fight if you want." Gwyn nodded, and waited with Nesta and Emerie while he and Cassian cleared the debris out of the way, "You get some hand to hand practice set up, I'll sort archery, Emerie at least will be wanting to practice with the brace." Cassian rested a hand on his shoulder, and met his eyes,</p><p>"Breathe." Azriel did, drawing in a deep breath and releasing it through his nose, "She's fine." Azriel glance back to the bench,</p><p>
  <em>She's okay,</em>
</p><p>The shadows whispered in his ear again, as they'd been doing since the first step he took from her,</p><p>"She doesn't need you to protect her, not now at least, just to help her."</p><p>"I know that. I just, I don't know." Cassian smiled,</p><p>"I do. It's difficult, but they're capable, she fought off a full warrior on her own last night, unarmed, she can handle a bit of wood." They, who was they? He didn't ask though, it had just been a slip of the tongue, he couldn't possibly mean Nesta and Gwyn, perhaps he meant they as in the Valkyries, there'd be no point in comparing Nesta and Gwyn. Nesta was Cass's mate, and Gwyn was, whatever she was to him, no way. He could have sworn a sigh sounded in his ear, and he offered Cassian a small smile as he made his way to the archery range, finally relaxing fully at a light laugh from behind him. He didn't need to look to know what she looked like, head tossed backwards, hair slightly falling out of her braid. He loved it when she laughed, they way the skin next to her eyes crinkled a little, her dimples forming when she smiled, even the sound of it. She laughed again, and his shadows hummed in response, the sound echoing through his mind as he set up three targets.</p><p>Emerie was lagging a little behind, with Mor helping her to do up the brace, her wings set higher than usual, and she grinned. Mor accidentally nudged a wing as she did up the final clasp, and Emerie froze, but an accidental touch didn't usually elicit that response, perhaps clipped wings were different, perhaps a touch was just painful. Gwyn made her way over, but didn't move to touch a bow, good, it would be a very bad idea to try to shoot with an injured wrist. He'd see if he could fix it after the session had finished, when he was a bit calmer.</p><p>Nesta smirked at Cassian, slowly drawing an arrow from her quiver and twirling it through her fingers, before quickly sending it flying for the target. She didn't take her eyes off him the whole time, relying on her peripheral vision to aim,</p><p>"Nesta! Stop that." He snapped his fingers in front of her face as she raised an eyebrow, and grinned, Azriel didn't even want to know how Cassian had responded, "Stop flirting, especially by shooting things, it's weird." Nesta just shrugged, </p><p>"Whatever you say, chaperone." Azriel rolled his eyes,</p><p>"And how long does <em>that </em>continue for?"</p><p>"Until it stops being fun." Nesta looked sideways for a moment, thinking, "So never." Azriel groaned inwardly,</p><p>"Shoot the damn target." Emerie chuckled beside him, and Gwyn appeared next to her,</p><p>"You should know better than to spar with Nesta by now, Az,"</p><p>"Yeah, yeah, I know, just," he broke off, Nesta was staring across the ring again, her gaze locked with Cassian's, "Do you two need five minutes?" Nesta shook herself,</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Do you need to grab Cass for five minutes, we'll cope." Nesta flushed, and shook her head, muttering to herself, sounding remarkably like 'five minutes my ass', "What, Nes?"</p><p>"Nothing." She narrowed her eyes at him and went back to shooting the target. Azriel chuckled to himself as he helped Emerie with her position, and her aim. She grinned at the first arrow that flew straight, her confidence skyrocketing with each successive arrow. When she managed to hit the bulls-eye a whoop sounded behind them, Mor. He hadn't even realized she was back. Odd, usually he knew exactly where she was,</p><p>"Yes!" She shouted, her grin matching Emerie's as she ran over to the Illyrian female, "Do that again and we'll go out tonight for a celebration." Emerie did, and again, having three bulls-eyes by the end of the session, although Azriel only saw the first, missing both others when he was either telling Nesta off for making eyes at Cassian, or talking to Gwyn. At one point he had to bite down on his lip to keep from roaring with laughter at her assessment of Nesta's weird flirting. Still, Nesta had glared at them both, and Azriel had shoved Gwyn in front of him, with her jokingly 'protecting' him from Nesta's wrath. </p><p>Gwyn stayed to help clear up, and Azriel pretended not to note Cassian and Nesta's absence, but did grin on their return,</p><p>"Eight minutes, I do apologize, I underestimated you." He dodged the practice dagger that flew towards his head, although who had thrown it, he wasn't sure. "I do hope you plan on actually helping now." Cassian just sighed and shook his head, not bothering to reply, </p><p>"Gwyn, did you want to have lunch, I never let you finish earlier?" Nesta asked, tidying up the last practice swords,</p><p>"Oh, yeah, so long as you're not going to be busy." </p><p>"I'll meet you at one?" Gwyn nodded, and laughed when she wriggled against Cassian as he picked her up, and scrunched up her nose when he kissed it gently, </p><p>"You mean to say I have to be away from you all of lunch? However will I cope?" He wailed dramatically, Nesta just patted him on the cheek,</p><p>"Stop being a baby." She wriggled out of his arms, before dashing out to escape. Azriel smiled at Gwyn's shout after her friend, his shadows dancing and weaving with the sound of her laugh when Nesta flipped her off. </p><p>"Do you have time to practice a bit of silent fighting?"</p><p>"Uh, yeah, sure, tell you what, Cass! C'mere, Gwyn's gonna try and sneak up on us, and if we hear her, it'll be like she got caught and has to fight her way out." </p><p>"What? I can't fight you two!" Gwyn protested,</p><p>"Just one of us, whoever hears you first will act as your enemy, the other will coach you through the fight." He grinned, and Gwyn nodded,</p><p>"Okay, so long as you don't actually beat me up." She grinned, and waited a moment for the males to walk a bit away from her,</p><p>"I bet you I hear her first," Cassian whispered,</p><p>"Oh yeah, how much?"</p><p>"Five gold marks."</p><p>"Five? Ten."</p><p>"Fine." Azriel grinned to himself, knowing Gwyn was already moving, and grinned wider when she made a slight misstep, and Cassian made no indication that he'd heard her. He whirled to face her,</p><p>"Got you, defend yourself, and get out." Cassian swore behind him, but tossed Gwyn a practice sword, and she raised it into a block just before Azriel reached her, he stayed silent as he circled around her, blocking her exit,</p><p>"Look around you Gwyn, what can you use against him?" Gwyn frantically glanced around and launched an attack, pushing him back, back, but he stepped over the loose stone, and Gwyn lost her rhythm, scrambling backwards to avoid the blows raining down. "Think Gwyn, he's bigger than you, stronger than you, do not let him drag this into close combat." Gwyn nodded, slowing her breathing and moved to disarm him, and would have succeeded had Azriel not known exactly what she was about to do. "Careful, don't let him know what you're planning, feint, trick him." She didn't, a trick in itself, and Azriel barely dodged her blow,</p><p>"Let's make this interesting," she panted, "If I win, you have to sit through all of dinner with Nesta and Cassian." Ugh, not a chance, he was never letting her win now, breakfast with those two was bad enough. Gwyn yelped as she dived sideways,</p><p>"And when I win?"</p><p>"<em>If</em> you win. What do you want?"</p><p>"Teach me piano." She laughed but agreed, and feinted left, but struck right. Azriel was already there, moving too fast for Gwyn to respond quickly enough, her sword went flying across the room, and she ducked underneath his to try and wrench it out of his grip before he could move against her, but he was faster. Gwyn yelped as he slipped sideways, and flipped her over, carefully shielding her head as she fell. She glared at him, and wriggled, but couldn't dislodge him. She huffed, "I win." Gwyn narrowed her eyes, unwilling to admit it, but still glared at him when he let her up. </p><p>"Piano lesson tonight then," she muttered, "I'm having a bath."</p><p>Azriel chuckled as Gwyn stretched off, his worry about her wrist having vanished long ago and she waved at him as she vanished,</p><p>"Pay up." Cassian feigned shock, but sighed and handed over ten gold coins, </p><p>"Fuck you."</p><p>"Pleasure doing business." Cassian was still glaring at him as he left, and he could have sworn he heard a bark of laughter from down the hall when he changed into clean clothes. With Gwyn and Nesta out for lunch he had time to plan, to actually see what he could do about the coming conflict, because it was coming. He and Cassian found each other, well, Cassian dragged himself into Azriel's room, carrying an armful of reports,</p><p>"I got the reports on each camp, we can at least get an idea of numbers based on loyalty." Azriel sighed and let him in, falling into a familiar routine,</p><p>"Windhaven's loyal."</p><p>"Four hundred and twenty-seven."</p><p>"Ironcrest could go either way, I have conflicting reports,"</p><p>"Well, they have three hundred and eighty-five warriors." Azriel nodded, noting down locations and numbers on the map pinned on his wall as Cassian spoke, building a clearer picture of what a war could look like, if they would win it, or if they would need the Darkbringers as well. Cassian was studying the map with his own gaze, looking at troop movements and numbers more than locations, and lords' loyalty. It wasn't as bad as he'd thought, more than half the camps were loyal, about a third were absolutely not, and the others, well, he couldn't be sure. If all went to plan, they'd have over half of Illyria's warriors on their side, if it came to a war Azriel was confident they'd win, but the cost would be huge. </p><p>"It's not enough, we need to ensure that those unsure remain loyal." Cassian grunted in agreement,</p><p>"Perhaps we can get through to their females, and they can sway the undecided males, get Emerie to start something, and let it spread."</p><p>"We could get her to 'worry about her family in a war', that way other females will worry more, and convince their families not to try to start a war, and to be on the winning side if it comes to it." Cassian nodded, </p><p>"She's still staying here with Mor tonight I think." Azriel nodded, </p><p>"I'd be worried to go home too if I was her."</p><p>"I'm not sure that's, never mind, she'll go home tomorrow, maybe the day after, we can speak to her tomorrow at training." He was being weird. He couldn't mean something else, what was he not sure about? He almost asked,</p><p>
  <em>Don't be stupid. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I'm not.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You are. It's Mor she's staying with, don't be stupid.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I - oh. </em>
</p><p>Azriel just smiled, and asked if Cassian wanted to talk to Rhys and Feyre or if he should,</p><p>"You have a piano lesson to get to, I'll head over now." He, shit. At some point the sun had indeed gone down, he hadn't even eaten dinner per say, but he supposed the endless plates of snacks probably counted, maybe. He couldn't help smiling to himself as he crossed the corridor and gently knocked on Gwyn's door,</p><p>"Hello Shadowsinger."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gwyn was grinning at him as she swung the door open, and crossed to the piano. She perched on the edge of the seat, letting Azriel sit more in front of the piano itself. Still, she was right next to him, and he almost leapt out of his skin when she covered his hands with her own, guiding him towards the keys as she explained the basics. She laughed at his surprise and he relaxed immediately, a shadow flitting out unbidden to explore the piano itself, before settling on Gwyn's shoulder. She grinned, </p><p>"You're the bravest one, aren't you?" Azriel could have sworn that the shadow puffed up at her words, and the others shot out to join it. "Do they really understand me?"</p><p>"Yes, and they listen to you, I've never seen them do that before, usually they're really shy, it took years for them to talk to me."</p><p>"They don't talk to me, or at least I don't understand them if they do."</p><p>"You would understand, it's like someone whispering in your ear, but its not a different language, the difficulty isn't learning to speak, but to listen." She nodded, and giggled when a shadow twirled down her arm, and skittered across the piano,</p><p>"Shoo, you're gonna get in the way," it made its back to her, hovering around her wrist as she demonstrated a simple series of notes for Azriel to copy. Even here, even dressed comfortably as she was she was the most beautiful female he'd ever seen, her hair glimmered in the candlelight, and her eyes gleamed with joy at each note, especially when Azriel got it right. She was a better teacher than he was, easily, and he must have said as much because she snorted,</p><p>"I'm not sure piano lessons and self-defense are really comparable, Az. Besides, you taught us to fight," well, he'd helped Cassian teach them to fight, "And the silent stuff with me, piano's a way different skill, you teach it differently." True, and she had picked up everything he'd taught her remarkably quickly, although that was more a reflection on her than him, "Here, Az," she moved his hand slightly, "What are you thinking about?" You. He couldn't say that,</p><p>"Sorry, just," a shadow danced around, "Got distracted." Gwyn laughed, </p><p>
  <em>Ask her to dinner</em>
</p><p>
  <em>What? No.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Now.</em>
</p><p>Azriel sighed, and started at the sight of the clock, cauldron it was late,</p><p>"Have you seen the time? We should get to bed."</p><p>
  <em>Dinner. Now.</em>
</p><p>He fought the urge to roll his eyes, and almost fidgeted,</p><p>"Can I take you to dinner tomorrow? As a thank you. I know a lovely little restaurant on the Sidra, it's usually nice and quiet in the evenings." He was expecting her to say no, that she wasn't comfortable around people that much yet, but she nodded,</p><p>"Yeah, that's be lovely,"</p><p>"Six sound alright?" Gwyn nodded and grinned, she was still grinning when he left. The shadows leapt and spun around him, not calming down even when he tried to go to bed,</p><p>
  <em>Does she think it's a date?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I don't know. Does it matter?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Yes. We like her. You should kiss her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I'm not kissing her. She doesn't need another male like that. Not until she wants it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She does want it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Then let her make that step. I will not push her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It's not pushing her if she wants you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Stop it. If she makes that step then great, if not, I will not make it for her.</em>
</p><p>Azriel rolled over, and the shadows swirled slower,</p><p>
  <em>Sorry. We know.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I know, you're just overexcited, we'll just wait and see how tomorrow night goes.</em>
</p><p>*****</p><p>Gwyn almost squealed when she closed the door, she could never sleep now, Azriel was taking her to dinner. She did a little circle on the spot and busied herself tidying the room until she fell exhausted into bed. </p><p>The next morning both Azriel and Cassian had been called to the River House, Nesta of course went with them, leaving Gwyn with the whole day to kill. She hadn't returned to the library in so long, just about managing to do the work Merrill sent up for her. But it was about time for her to return, at least for a bit. She carefully armed herself underneath her robe, and made her way back to the library, grinning at Clotho as she entered, who smiled back, but let her pass without stopping her.</p><p>Time wore on far too slowly for Gwyn's liking and she finished her work barely at lunchtime, making her way back up to the House without incident, and ended up exploring the rest of the House before deciding to practice her archery on her own. She kept at it for an hour, it was four o'clock, if she took a long bath she could go and start getting ready.</p><p>It didn't take two hours. She was out of the bath and dressed in one, and it took only twenty minutes to arrange her hair, half braided around her head, half falling down her back. She didn't bother with any cosmetics, she rarely did, only for formal evenings, this didn't count. The dress was loose, emerald-green, much shorter than the one she had worn to dinner before, but it matched the earrings Azriel had bought her. She'd never been one to go for daring necklines, but the back, well, there wasn't much to it, it dipped off her shoulders and plunged downwards, leaving the unbound portion of her hair to tumble down her back, swaying with each step she took. She stepped into a pair of white heels, and distracted herself by playing the piano until the knock on the door sounded.</p><p>Azriel had always been beautiful, but now, he was the most beautiful male she'd ever seen, High Lords includeddf. He wore a fairly simple, but elegant shirt, a black jacket over the top, with matching pants. He'd combed his hair, and his eyes were sparkling as he offered her a hand. He stilled when she opened the door, and Gwyn wasn't entirely sure he was breathing until she took his hand and led him to the nearest balcony,</p><p>"You look beautiful," he whispered right before scooping her up and diving into the night sky. Gwyn held back her squeal of delight at the sensation of falling, but it didn't stop,</p><p>"Az," she muttered, "Az, what are you doing?" She buried her face in his neck, squeezing him tighter as they fell, "Azriel!" She screamed, moments before his wings shot out, leaving them gliding effortlessly through the empty streets. Gwyn forced herself to lean back, and look him in the eyes, "You shit!" But she couldn't stop the grin from spreading across her face, and Azriel chuckled at her false indignation,</p><p>"Oh, c'mon, I think you like a bit of adrenaline."</p><p>"Yeah, a bit. Not fear that I'm about to die because some idiot forgot how to fly." Azriel laughed at that, really laughed, and Gwyn smiled at the sound echoing around her, at the sight of his head tipped back, the wind now ruffling his hair, undoing all his work to tame it. </p><p>The restaurant was beautiful, and quiet as he'd promised, and he left her waiting just inside, shadows shielding her from view as he talked quietly to one of the waiters,</p><p>"Come on," he took her hand, leading her through to a garden at the back, right on the Sidra, the stars glittered above her head, and right in front of her, on the glassy surface of the river. The garden was all but empty, only one other table was occupied, all the way on the other side. "This okay?" Azriel muttered,</p><p>"Okay? Az, this is beautiful." She grinned, and turned back to him, her smile softening, "Thank you." No-one had ever done something like this for her before, she'd been nervous before coming out tonight, really nervous, but the moment she sat down, the moment everything else vanished, she calmed. In that moment nothing else mattered, just him.</p><p>*****</p><p>Gwyn was practically glowing in the moonlight, and Azriel hadn't missed the earrings, Neve was right, emeralds really suited her. She relaxed quickly once they sat down, smiling and laughing with every word they exchanged. His shadows refused to settle down, swirling around his feet and occasionally adding unhelpful comments. Gwyn mentioned how she loved the stars, how seeing them in the river was a new delight,</p><p>
  <em>Tell her that her eyes shine like stars.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Tell her that she outshines them all.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Tell her that your love burns brighter than them all.</em>
</p><p>Azriel actually blinked at the last one,</p><p>
  <em>Okay, whoa, stop now, that escalated way too quickly,</em>
</p><p>He just nodded, quickly pointing out his favorite constellations to Gwyn, and showed her a few she didn't know.</p><p>
  <em>Shut up.</em>
</p><p>He hissed to the shadows, ignoring their offended comments, focusing instead on the way Gwyn's face lit up when she found a new constellation herself,</p><p>"Wait, where is it?" Azriel gently guided her chin up slightly, </p><p>"See it? Just there, the wing, and-"</p><p>"It's a pegasus!" She yelped, quickly covering her mouth as the other couple glanced over at them,</p><p>"Do you ever plan on telling me the deal with you three and pegasi?"</p><p>"That's between us and the House, Az."</p><p>"You know what, I don't think I want to know." Gwyn laughed and gazed back up at the pegasus, the stars shining in her eyes.</p><p>Gwyn was still smiling when he landed back on the balcony,</p><p>"Thank you, Az, tonight was wonderful, I'd hardly dared to think I could go outside, let alone eat at a restaurant a few months ago." He dipped his head, but smiled,</p><p>"A wonder what punching Cassian can do." Gwyn snorted,</p><p>"Satisfying as that is, it's not him that's helped me with that. Thank you." She fell silent for a moment, almost slipping away, but stepped back towards him and raised herself onto her tiptoes. Azriel held his breath as she brushed her lips against his and smiled softly at him before finally slipping away. </p><p>Every breath was a battle, every step was a battle, a battle not to follow her, not to show her exactly what a proper kiss was like. His heart was still pounding as he reached his bedroom, but he couldn't sleep, even the shadows seemed stunned into silence. </p><p>He got changed for bed. Gwyn. He washed his face. Gwyn's smile. He washed his face with cold water. Gwyn's laugh. He fluffed all the pillows. Gwyn's eyes. He sharpened the dagger under his pillow. Gwyn handing Cassian's ass to him a few days ago. He chuckled at the memory, at Cassian's shock as she tripped him, hungover and tired as he was. How Nesta had roared with laughter and congratulated her friend, leaving her mate on his ass to celebrate. How Gwyn had stared in shock as she realized she'd won. She was so beautiful. </p><p>He shook his head. Gwyn, Gwyn, Gwyn. Gods, he'd never get any sleep at this rate. Cassian's socks. Gwyn. Cassian's <em>smelly</em> socks. Gwyn's perfume. Illyria, camp lords. Gwyn at the top of Ramiel. He groaned and rolled sideways, burying his face in his pillow. He was absolutely fucked. This female would be the death of him. He was in such deep shit.</p><p>*****</p><p>Azriel didn't come to breakfast, she hadn't seen hide nor hair of him last night after she'd kissed him either. Maybe he was avoiding her. She shouldn't have kissed him, maybe he hadn't meant to ask her to dinner as a date, oh shit. Not even Nesta and Cassian were here, true, <em>they </em>could be otherwise engaged, but not likely, training was soon, they wouldn't miss it. She finished eating, and thanked the House before heading up to find someone, perhaps they had simply overslept. She reached Nesta and Cassian's room first, and her breath was sucked out of her lungs at the sight before her. There was blood everywhere. The bed was half-collapsed, as if something, no, someone had been thrown into it, the window was broken, and, her heart almost stopped. There was a note nailed to the bedposts,</p><p>
  <em>You took it too far, High Lord. You have seven days to restore our freedoms, or we kill them all.</em>
</p><p>There was no signature, and Gwyn almost dropped the note out of sheer terror, someone had been here, in the House, and had taken Nesta and Cassian, and was going to kill them all. All. Azriel. She sprinted for his room, holding back a sob at the clear signs of a fight, the shattered furniture, the blood spraying across the floor. They had come right next to her room, how had she not heard anything? She could have done something. This was all her fault. She couldn't hold back the tears as she stared aimlessly into Azriel's room, always so meticulously clean, ordered, now in complete disarray. Slowly her fear and sadness hardened, solidifying into a burning rage. She was getting him back, getting them all back. But she had no idea how would have sent the note, it was daytime, to get to the River House, to show the note to Rhysand, she would have to go through crowded streets, alone.</p><p>Gwyn took a deep breath at the top of the stairs, and started down, by the time she reached the bottom she was practically flying across the ground, and she hurtled out of the door, ignoring startled looks from everyone she passed. She ran and ran, faster than she ever had before, and by the time she reached the River House her muscles were burning, screaming at her to stop, but she couldn't, something inside her forced her to keep moving. She would do anything to save them, to save Azriel.</p><p>When she burst through the doors to the River House, a servant practically leapt out of her skin,</p><p>"Where is Rhysand?" She demanded, forgetting any politeness, and followed the servant's shaking finger pointing towards what looked to be a living room. When she shoved the door open, she was faced with not just Rhysand, but Feyre as well, and Mor. She held out the note, not caring that all three of them had frozen the moment she had entered the room,</p><p>"What are you doing here, Gwyn?" Mor asked her quietly, and she just forced the note into Rhysand's hand,</p><p>"They - Azriel - Cass - Nesta," she panted for breath, unable to form words, but from the horror etched across his face, Rhysand had figured it out. Gwyn sank onto a chair opposite him and Feyre, and focused on slowing her breathing,</p><p>"When did you find this?" Rhysand breathed,</p><p>"This morning," she managed, still struggling to fill her lungs, "Who could it be from?" She didn't bother with any formality, since this was court business, she probably should, but Rhysand didn't seem to notice, or care.</p><p>"Illyria. I've been sending Cassian and Azriel to inspect the camps each week, randomly, and forcing them to train the girls, and stop any wing-clipping." She knew that, Azriel had told her about the laws, "But who exactly would take it that far I can't be sure, there's a few potential candidates."</p><p>"You know where they are then?"</p><p>"No. They could be in any number of places, that is, if they're even at a camp at all." Gwyn was hardly breathing as she surveyed his face, "I'll come with you back up to the House, maybe there was some sort of sign that you didn't recognize." Gwyn nodded, still hardly registering what Rhysand had said, but she knew what to do now, she would be able to be of some help.</p><p>*****</p><p>It was dark. So, so dark. Azriel opened his eyes only for familiar images to flood his mind, he was underground, in a familiar dungeon. He tried to surge to his feet, but his legs wouldn't obey, and he collapsed back onto the floor face-first. His head was still spinning when a dark chuckle sounded through the darkness, and he shuffled backwards as he saw the male's cold face,</p><p>"Long time no see, little brother." He sneered,</p><p>"You are not my brother." Azriel snapped, glaring at the young lord, hatred bristling within him, but he still couldn't stand, not after whatever drug had been used against him. He carefully monitored his breathing, hiding any trace of fear, and stared him down, "What do you want?" He snarled,</p><p>"Your High Lord has been crushing our freedom for too long now, at least officially. But, your damned females worrying about their husbands are making everyone else too cowardly. Even the few camp lord who haven't found ways to cope with your new damned laws have mostly let it go. Since I won't see you on a battlefield, it's about time we had you back, you've been off pretending you're not just a bastard nobody for too long." The male stepped right up to the bars of the cell, "You are going to live the life that you were meant to, and the other bastard will die." Cassian. It took five centuries of training not to let any emotion show on his face, "And his mate. Pretty little thing, I think my men will enjoy spending some time with her before I kill her too." He hadn't mentioned Gwyn, perhaps they hadn't known she was there. He had to be sure.</p><p>"So you think that kidnapping us will get Rhys to let you treat females like dirt again?" He let out a hoarse laugh, "He knows that all three of us would rather die." No reaction.</p><p>"That's irrelevant, the question is would he <em>let</em> you die? I think not, Cauldron knows why, but he's rather attached to you isn't he? Besides, I don't give a shit about females, I do give a shit about the arrogant little bastard who thinks he can just walk away because he's an oh so special shadowsinger. You are no-one." He was right, Azriel was nothing, no-one, but he hid every emotion, glaring at the male. Azriel was still snarling when his brother disappeared again, leaving him alone in the shadows.</p><p>He pulled himself to a sitting position, breathing slowly to calm the rush in his head before heaving himself to his feet, he almost vomited at the pain in his leg, the blood seeping through a shoddy bandage, he took several deep breaths, and set his foot on the ground. Surely they wouldn't be stupid enough to keep him here, it was too obvious. Cassian and Nesta could be anywhere. He couldn't smell them over the damp in the dungeon, couldn't smell anything. He carefully stepped towards the bars, examining them for any weaknesses, any chance that he might break them. Nothing, they must have reinforced the bars to prepare, without his siphons he couldn't break them, not without killing himself in the process. </p><p>There was no way out. He couldn't bring himself to care, if this was his fate so be it, but Cassian, and Nesta, he could never let them be trapped here. He would find a way out, for them, just for them, and Gwyn. Gwyn, who had trusted him, shit she had <em>kissed</em> him, and he'd left her alone. He sank to the floor again, leaning against the wall, the cold stone leaching all the warmth out of him, but he didn't notice, not as the thought of Gwyn warmed him endlessly. Shadows swirled, he had to get back to her, he would not leave her alone, never again would she be alone. Azriel studied the bars again. He was getting out. He had to.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I know I made you wait, I'm sorry! I'll try and be a bit quicker for the next chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rhysand hadn't found anything new, he still had a long list of who might try something this drastic, but it would take far too long to search every place they could be. Feyre hadn't found anything in Cassian and Nesta's room either. Gwyn paced around Azriel's room once more, surely there was something they'd missed. Something moved in the corner of the room, and Gwyn froze,</p><p>"Rhysand," she muttered, "Something moved." Before he had even turned around from the corridor, the darkness moved again, and something shot towards her. She almost screamed, but something stopped her, it wasn't that darkness of before, no, this was a <em>shadow.</em> "Where is he?" She whispered, and the shadow swirled around her feet, nothing. </p><p>"Is that one of his?" Gwyn nodded,</p><p>"It must have gotten scared and hidden." She held a hand out for the shadow and it swirled up her arm to rest on her shoulder. "It's okay," she muttered, "We'll find him." Rhysand narrowed his eyes,</p><p>"I've never seen them leave his side, ever. They hide, but with him, never away from him." Gwyn shrugged, not quite noticing the way Rhysand stared after her as she followed the shadow out of the room. </p><p>"Where is he?" She repeated, and the shadow only pressed closer to her, "Do you know where he is?" The shadow fluttered again, "Okay, left hand for yes, right hand for no. Do you know where he is?" The shadow  flickered between both hands, "You're not certain?" Left hand. "Can you find him?" Left hand. "He's alive?" Left hand. "Did you get scared and hide?" Right hand. "Are you still here on his orders?" Left hand. "To tell us where he is?" Right hand. "To help us when we go and fetch him?" Right hand. "To protect something?" Left hand. "Me?" Left hand. Gwyn couldn't stop the tears from forming, even as Rhysand stepped out of Azriel's room. He stopped moving at the sight of her tears, and stepped towards her, but stayed a couple of steps away from her,</p><p>"Gwyn." She met his eyes, saw the concern shining there, but concern for her, not for his missing family, "We're going to find them, we are." Gwyn nodded,</p><p>"I know. I, the shadow, it says its here to protect me, it says that Az made it stay for me." She rubbed her eyes with the back of a hand,</p><p>"You talked to it?" She nodded,</p><p>"Sort of. I can't understand it, but it understands me, it's going to my left hand for yes, and my right hand for no." Rhysand sat onto a chair across from her,</p><p>"Does it know where they are?"</p><p>"No, but it thinks it can find them, Az at least." The shadow had fallen still, and remained that way for about and hour while Rhysand and Feyre collected Azriel and Cassian's notes on Illyria, and tried to narrow down who could have taken them.</p><p>"This will take too long, anything from the shadow?" He called from another room</p><p>"Not yet. Perhaps a map." Rhysand reappeared with one moments later, and the shadow immediately swirled around a spot on the map,</p><p>"That's still a big area, can it be any more precise?" The shadow raced to Gwyn's right hand, and she shook her head, "That does narrow it down, though, there's two camp lords who hold sway over that area, and a few other minor lords, but only three who openly oppose us." Gwyn nodded, </p><p>"Az's spies?"</p><p>"He pulled them out a few days ago, we had reason to believe that they were compromised." Shit.</p><p>"So we have no way of finding where they are? Can't we send someone else in?"</p><p>"Perhaps, Nuala and Cerridwen might be able to get in, but they'll be obvious as not belonging there if anyone sees them. I don't want to risk whoever it is getting spooked and doing anything rash."</p><p>"You mean killing them early."</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"Don't sugarcoat it." She snapped, then clapped a hand over her mouth. Oh shit, she'd just snapped at her High Lord, "I'm sorr-" Rhysand laughed, actually laughed,</p><p>"Relax, Gwyn, don't tell Feyre I admitted this, but I do need someone to snap at me occasionally." Gwyn stared at him in disbelief, forgetting her worries, her tears drying up, Are you okay to come back to the River House, we need to tell the others. Gwyn nodded, and squeezed her eyes shut when Rhysand winnowed them away.</p><p>*****</p><p>Azriel spat in the male's face, his brother just let out a course laugh,</p><p>"Aw, does baby bastard not like it? Oh well." He strained against the chains, but with the enchantments, his strength wasn't enough, and he slumped back into the chair. "Now, talk to me, <em>dear brother, </em>how do you talk to them?" He jerked his head towards the shadows, still swirling around the magic binding them, desperately trying to reach him,</p><p>"In the common tongue." Azriel's head snapped to the side as a heavy fist slammed into his jaw, he shook his head, blinking to recover,</p><p>"You're familiar with this situation, don't make me take this further."</p><p>"Then don't take it further." Azriel met his gaze, the eyes that were so like his own, but filled with coldness, cruelty.</p><p>"How do you talk to the shadows?"</p><p>"In the common tongue. Are you stupid?" Another blow. At this rate, he'd be lucky to go one day without a broken jaw.</p><p>"Don't fuck with me, my patience is not endless."</p><p>"I'd say it's non existent, but that's a long word for you." Anger simmered in the male's gaze,</p><p>"Why do they talk to you?"</p><p>"Now <em>that </em>is an entirely different question. They talk to me because I'm a shadowsinger." His brother rolled his eyes,</p><p>"I know that. How did you become a shadowsinger?" Azriel shrugged, "How can I become one?" Azriel laughed again,</p><p>"You can't, either you are or you aren't."</p><p>"I need it, you don't understand." </p><p>"Try me." The male stepped back,</p><p>"You're just as useless as you've always been. I need that edge in the coming battles, we're going to claim our birthright as ruling family, even without father, it's my birthright, I <em>will</em> be camp lord, even without your help." Azriel smirked again,</p><p>"You sure about that?" His brother surged forwards, and slammed his fist into Azriel's nose, bone crumpling under his fist, making tears spring to his eyes, even as Azriel tried to blink them away,</p><p>"Shut up! You have <em>no idea</em> what you're meddling in, bastard, none of you do. You <em>will</em> tell me how you gained mastery over them." Azriel shrugged, ignoring his broken nose, bruised jaw, and numerous cracked ribs,</p><p>"I don't think so."</p><p>"You will. Or it won't be you getting hurt next time." With that his brother walked out, leaving Azriel alone in the darkness, but the moment he left, the restrictions on his shadows lifted, leaving them free to rush back to his side,</p><p>
  <em>Azriel!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I'm fine. Don't worry.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Our sister says she can feel us, she knows where we are, and she's shown the High Lord. Hold on.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Gwyn?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Safe. She's safe, worried, but safe.</em>
</p><p>Gwyn was safe. It didn't matter then, so long as he got Cassian and Nesta out, nothing else mattered. The shadows swirled around him, guarding him as he tried to make out anything of the dungeons around him. They were still with him when he passed out.</p><p>*****</p><p>Rhysand had marked out all potential places where prisoners could be held in the area Gwyn's shadow had indicated, too many. Even discounting those that could never hold powerful fae, there were too many. Gwyn stared at the map,</p><p>"Any hunches?" Rhysand asked,</p><p>"Why would I have a hunch?" He shrugged,</p><p>"You found the rooms first, any hunch is better than nothing." Gwyn ran her hand across the map, her bracelet glowing brighter when she moved her hand to the left. She blinked and moved her hand to Windhaven, to Emerie, the bracelet shone bright. </p><p>"I can find Nesta." She breathed, returning to the marked points. The room held its breath as she checked each one, nothing. Feyre squeezed her other hand,</p><p>"There might be some sort of shield." Gwyn nodded, or Nesta could be dead. No, she couldn't be. She turned to face Feyre, Mor and Amren sitting silently behind her,</p><p>"What happens if we can't find them?"</p><p>"We will."</p><p>"What if we can't?" She leaned back on the map,</p><p>"I've considered it." Rhysand rubbed his face, "Worst case, we can't find them and, you know, best case, we can't find them, but we work something out to keep them alive. In a few days, if we still have nothing, I'll call a meeting, figure out who's most excited at the prospect of modifying the laws, and we can go from there." Gwyn nodded, at least someone had considered it. She closed her eyes, Nesta, Nesta, Nesta. Almost of its own volition, her hand moved across the map, falling still on an unmarked keep, but the bracelet shone bright as the sun.</p><p>"What is that?" She muttered, the shadow leapt up from where it had settled on her shoulder, racing around that spot on the map,</p><p>"Abandoned is what it is." Mor muttered, standing up to see where she was pointing, "It was Azriel's father's keep, but he died in the war, his legitimate sons moved out afterwards."</p><p>"So no-one would think anyone was there?"</p><p>"Perhaps." Mor mused, "We can easily get Nuala and Cerridwen to check if its still empty. We'll know by tomorrow." Rhysand nodded,</p><p>"Okay, let's do it. We're going to find them, Gwyn. Thank you." Gwyn offered him a small smile, but it didn't quite reach her eyes, all she could do now was wait.</p><p>Even reading was too difficult with her mind occupied with worries,</p><p>"Hey," Mor flopped onto the couch across from her, "They're gonna be okay,"</p><p>"Yeah." </p><p>"Here, I thought you might want this." Mor handed her a leather jacket, Illyrian fighting leathers, covered in Azriel's scent. "He's always kept a spare set at the townhouse."</p><p>"Thank you." Mor squeezed her hand, </p><p>"Nuala will find him, then we'll rain hell down on whoever took him from us, okay?" There was nothing but kindness in Mor's gaze, kindness, and perhaps gratitude, although for what Gwyn had no idea.</p><p>"Okay." She would, she would destroy whoever it was, and if he was hurt, there was nowhere that would be safe for them, not from the vengeance she would bring down. For the first time since yesterday morning, she really smiled.</p><p>*****</p><p>A scream split the air, and Azriel jolted awake, female, down the corridor to his left, she screamed again, a scream of utter terror, and Azriel tried to rise, but he was still chained to the chair. On the third scream he recognized her voice, Nesta. If Nesta was screaming, then,</p><p>"Don't touch her!" That was Cassian, Nesta screamed again, but differently, she might have been screaming in horror this time, then she screamed Cassian's name, and every sound that reached his ears had Azriel straining against the chains, someone was hurting them, or at least one of them. He managed to shuffled the chair forwards, and Nesta's screams grew louder, she was being moved towards him. Cassian bellowed again, threatening hell for anyone who hurt her, Nesta was still screaming his name when she appeared in Azriel's field of view, three males dragging her backwards along the corridor. She kicked out, but they kept her off balance, chuckling at her scream when Cassian shouted her name again. She fought as one of the males let go to open the cell across from Azriel, and tossed her inside, Azriel winced at the crunch as her ankle wrenched sideways. She glanced around, and let out a sob seeing Azriel, but her attention was immediately snatched away from him at the sound of a thump from where she had come,</p><p>"Cass!" She screamed, slamming herself against the bars of her cell, "Don't hurt him," she screamed, "Cassian!" Another two males appeared from that corridor and Nesta dropped to the floor, not noticing them step towards her. </p><p>"Don't even think about it," Azriel snarled, shuffling forwards, and his brother's voice sounded from the stairs,</p><p>"Then tell me, how do I control the shadows?" Nesta scrambled backwards as one of the males kicked out at her. "I warned you that it wouldn't be you getting hurt from now on." </p><p>"You can't." One of the males drew a dagger and held his hand out for the key to Nesta's cell. "You can't, damn you!" His brother nodded, and the male unlocked the door. Shit, no-one else should be here, this was his burden to bear, and his alone, "She has nothing to do with this!" Nesta glanced around, there was nothing she could use to fight with, and from the look of her, she was already injured, he met her terrified gaze. "No-one knows why shadowsingers have their power, not even me." The male stopped at a gesture from Azriel's brother.</p><p>"Go on,"</p><p>"Go on? That's it, I don't know how you could even try to control them." The male with the dagger stepped towards Nesta, and she dropped into a fighting stance. Azriel jerked the chair forwards, and it slipped, sending him sprawling, face-first, onto the floor, his bruised jaw shrieking in pain. He couldn't see from this angle, but footsteps faded, and the bars of his cell clanged, as it someone had kicked it on his way past. He didn't care, just so long as they'd left Nesta alone,</p><p>"Az?" She whispered, "Are you okay?"</p><p>"Fine." He muttered, "Just a bit battered, what happened to you?"</p><p>"I'm okay, they got bored, I think," Azriel managed to flip himself over, so that he could at least turn his head to face her, "Cass is worse." Her gaze returned to that corridor she had come from,  "Where are we?" she whispered,</p><p>"My father's old keep. They'll come for us, just hold on." The impact of the floor still had his head spinning so he barely registered when the guards returned to take Nesta somewhere else again, only her kicking an screaming alerted him. He was just conscious enough to have a shadow sneak out and make a set of keys fall from the closest guard's belt, the shadow floating it to Azriel. He still couldn't get the chair upright, and passed out again, waking to the sound of a key in his door. </p><p>Without having been fed, overpowering the guards was not an option, so Azriel waited until they released him from the bindings, one of them slamming a fist into his stomach, leaving his chest heaving as he fought to refill his lungs. Memories flooded into him, this was the first time he had allowed his focus to slip enough for the fear to set in. He closed his eyes against the flames from the torches lining the walls, only sheer force of will keeping his breathing slow, measured. Never again, this time, he was older, this time, he was stronger.</p><p>He had a key now, step one complete. Step two, escape.</p><p>Azriel watched the guards' rotations closely, marking when they changed, where the guards went, how long it took for changes, who was slowest. The day it took to note the rotation was perhaps the longest he'd ever lived, his mind full of images of Cassian and Nesta, of what his 'brothers' might be doing to them at any moment. Flames filled his vision, and he blinked to clear the memory, but it wouldn't fade, and cruel laughter surrounded him. No, no, no, he scrambled backwards, but smoke filled the dungeons, filled his lungs, and he coughed, again and again, until his stomach heaved, trying to empty itself, but came up empty. As the smoke kept surrounding him, Azriel dropped to the floor, in a vain effort to escape the smoke, his vision hazy as that damned laughter continued. The torches, one of them had fallen to the floor, there must be some sort of magic enhancing the flames, and, that was oil, there was oil on the floor, covering the floor, not just of his cell, but the whole of the dungeons. No wonder the guards were running. They were going to leave him here. He choked again, trying to call for someone, anyone to <em>get that torch</em>, but couldn't manage anything louder than a whisper. </p><p>
  <em>Extinguish that torch.</em>
</p><p>He hoped desperately that it wasn't too late, that the shadows had actually heard him, but they did shoot out of the cell, leaving him alone and shot for the torch, choking the flame, blocking its access to air. Slowly, too slowly, the flame sputtered and finally died, mere seconds before the flame would have met the oil.</p><p>Azriel lay still, letting the smoke rise above his head, waiting for his lungs to clear out, his head to clear. The guards hadn't returned yet, this was his chance, the only one until the next day, he slowly got to his feet, shaking his head and silently unlocked the door, shadows cloaking his movements as he ghosted down the corridor towards where Nesta had come from. The smoke cleared as he made his way down the corridor, at least Nesta and Cassian had been safe from that particular 'game'. </p><p>When he rounded the corner, Cassian was all he could see, leaning against the back wall of his cell, his eyes were closed, and Azriel sucked in a breath at the sight of his wings. How any Illyrian could bear to hurt another's wings was beyond him, especially as Cassian's had clearly been carefully targeted, almost every joint was dislocated, at least partially, perhaps Nesta had been able to try and reset them, but his right wing was drooping on the floor, the main bone snapped in two. On another step, Azriel saw Nesta huddled against her mate, tucked into his side, her face buried in his chest. One more step and Cassian's eyes flew open as he shoved Nesta behind him, tension releasing from his muscles as he recognized Azriel,</p><p>"It's just Az, Nes, it's okay." He muttered, "How?"</p><p>"I stole a key. Let's get out of here, can you both walk?" Azriel himself was still slightly limping, but Cassian nodded, </p><p>"Yeah, Nesta, she's okay, they only went for my wings." Nesta pressed against him at that,</p><p>"We'll fix them," she promised, and helped him to his feet, waiting for Azriel to unlock the door, "How did you get rid of the guards?"</p><p>"They set a fire and ran." Nesta's eyes widened, and she paused, as if unsure what to say, and she just grasped his hand, "It's fine, Nesta." Cassian clapped him on the shoulder, dropping into a familiar position on his right, with Nesta between them as they made their way back towards the dungeons' entrance. He'd just about started to relax when a winged silhouette filled the space atop the stairs.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Azriel's heart sank, and he shoved Nesta to the side, knocking both her and Cassian out of the way as a bolt of power shot down the stairs. A slow clap sounded while Azriel glanced around, another way out, there had to be one,</p><p>"It seems the bird got out of the cage. Such a shame it'll never fly free." Azriel waved a hand subtly at Nesta, and she froze, his brother's attention was still fixed on him, if she moved, Azriel didn't want to think what would happen if he decided to really use that killing power. Get back in your cage." The door to his cell swung open, and Azriel fixed his brother with a glare, shadows gathering around him,</p><p>"You know what, I don't think I will." He leaped forwards, pressing himself against the wall beside the staircase, green light rushing past moments later. The back exit, where was it? </p><p>
  <em>Find another exit.</em>
</p><p>Shadows raced off in all directions, and Azriel waited, in a few moments his brother would lose his patience, and, shit. Footsteps on stone, he rolled forwards, shielding Cassian and Nesta, his wings spread wide to take the brunt of any attack. Weapon, he needed a weapon, or at least a shield of some sort. He had seconds before his brother located them, even with the shadows cloaking him from sight. A second set of footsteps joined the first, lighter, more cautious. Azriel sent shadows flying for that second figure, and dodged the immediate blast of power from his brother, letting it shoot over his head. The second guard stumbled backwards, and yelped when Azriel slammed into him, twisting the pommel of his sword out of his grip, and swiping the dagger from his belt.</p><p>At a glance, Nesta was trying to drag Cassian away, down the corridor,</p><p>
  <em>Behind them, all the way down, there's a way out.</em>
</p><p>"Run!" He bellowed, and tossed Nesta the dagger, taking up a defensive position to slow the guards starting to return to the dungeons. Nesta grunted behind him, she was still too close, and Cassian said something, too quietly for Azriel to make out the words, but the urgency was obvious,</p><p>"No," Nesta sobbed, "I can't," she repeated over and over, she couldn't leave him, Azriel dared a glance over his shoulder, and cursed at the sight of more guards blocking their exit. If she were alone, Nesta could escape, but convincing her to leave Cassian, no, she would never do it.</p><p>Even armed, even with his shadows darting around, disorienting his enemies, attacking them, there were too many of them. This was it. He was going to die here. </p><p>Azriel was forced backwards, until he was stood back to back with Nesta, Cassian struggling to rise to his feet between them. Azriel dropped a hand onto his shoulder,</p><p>"It's been an honor, brother."</p><p>*****</p><p>Gwyn set the bedside table down, right where the old one had sat, and glanced around the room, the same, but different, altogether too new, unused. She sank onto the bed, and the shadow came to rest in her lap,</p><p>"I miss them," It shuffled and swirled up her arm, nestling against her cheek, "Do you miss him? Of course you do, thank you for staying with me." Even with him gone, a little part of Azriel would always be with her so long as the shadow remained. The room was exactly as it had been only a few days prior, but so different, so un-Azriel somehow, maybe it was just that he wasn't there any more, even his scent was fading with the old furniture having been removed. Gwyn squeezed his jacket tighter around herself, and closed her eyes.</p><p>"Someone's there!" Mor's voice echoed through the House, "Gwyn?"</p><p>"Here!"</p><p>"Nuala just got back, someone is at that old keep, we don't know who but-" Gwyn was already moving, already sprinting for her room, collecting her weapons on an instinct. She sighed as she switched Azriel's jacket for her own, his was way too big, she'd never be able to fight properly, let alone quietly in it, no, she had to wear her own. She left it on her bed as she ran back to Mor, </p><p>"When do we leave?"</p><p>Rhysand had winnowed her with him out to the keep, and Mor had complained bitterly at being left behind, but Gwyn could move and fight silently, and only one person was likely to be able to get in. Rhysand had brought her because he knew the layout of the keep, at least in theory, if it was anything like the others built at the same time, he knew the layout. But he would have to guide her from outside, mentally. </p><p>Gwyn took one final, shuddering breath, and let him in,</p><p>
  <em>Breathe,</em>
</p><p>She did, slowing her breaths, stilling her mind, panic was no good now. She was the rock against which the surf crashes. She was a Valkyrie. She was Gwyneth Berdara, and she would not be afraid.</p><p>The keep itself was almost silent, only the echoing of far-off footsteps and the candles and torches along the wall proved that she wasn't alone. </p><p>
  <em>Okay, go left here,</em>
</p><p>Gwyn pressed herself against the wall, and dared a quick glance down the corridor, one guard, facing away from her. She stepped into the corridor, keeping to the shadowy places along the wall, her footsteps muffled by her shadow, well, Azriel's shadow. The guard didn't turn around until she was right behind him, his eyes widening as he drew breath to shout. Gwyn slammed the hilt of her dagger into his temple, and his eyes rolled back as he collapsed. Gwyn made sure to catch him, and lowered him slowly to the floor, avoiding the clatter of his armor on the stone. </p><p>Rhysand guided her deeper into the keep, she met few guards, too few, something was wrong.</p><p>
  <em>How many guards should there be?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It depends, but you should have met at least ten by now.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>There's been four.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Four?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Yeah.</em>
</p><p>He waited a while to respond, as if he were trying to decide something, probably whether to tell her to get out of there,</p><p>
  <em>That's not normal, you know that? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I'm not leaving without them.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Be on your guard.</em>
</p><p>There were no more guards until Gwyn heard the clash of metal on metal, and almost launched into a run. The corridor she'd been walking down lit up more and more with each step, until she found a stairway,</p><p>
  <em>That should take you to the dungeons, be careful.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I will.</em>
</p><p>She sent the shadow to check if it was safe, and it flew back to her almost immediately, both trying to go back down, and back the way she had come. It was torn between protecting her and Azriel, he was down there, he had to be. If the shadow wanted her to run, something was wrong, she had to move, now.</p><p>The dungeon was filled with guards, there were three at the base of the stairs, and too many to count beyond that. Gwyn couldn't fight her way through, </p><p>
  <em>There's too many, I can't see them,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Wait.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I can't.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Gwyn. Wait. I'm on my way, the way you came is clear. Wait for me.</em>
</p><p>She should wait, but she couldn't, Azriel was there, Nesta was there, Cassian was there, if she waited, every lost second could spell their doom. She glanced around, torches, there were torches along the wall. She tugged experimentally on one, it didn't budge, she put more weight onto it, and pulled herself up, climbing over the guards' heads. She braced herself to fall, waiting for a few heartbeats, but the torch's stand held strong, she leaped to the next one, almost slipping, but the clashing of blades covered the sound. She scrambled up, moving to the next one, and the next. They were only a couple of feet apart, but each jump felt like forever. She paused on the next, catching her breath, and reassessed the situation. There, only a few more jumps away, Azriel was back to back with Nesta, guards coming from both sides. She thanked all the gods that the corridor was so narrow, only three guards could attack at once. Azriel stumbled, armed with a sword from one of the fallen guards, and Nesta braced against his weight, helping him regain his feet, her own sword looked heavy, she was tiring. Cassian, where was Cassian? There, on the floor, he blinked, trying to rise, and collapsed again, and Gwyn had to clap a hand over her mouth to stop herself from crying out at the sight of him. </p><p>Oh gods, there was so much blood, not all of it was his, of course, but his wings, oh gods, that was bone sticking out of one of them, and that glazed look in his eyes, Gwyn had seen that look before, how he was still trying to fight was beyond her. Even as he stumbled, he said something, and Nesta whirled, slamming her sword into a guard's gut, he was warning her, guiding her blade. That look in his eyes, he knew it, he was still fighting for her, even though, even though Cassian was dying.</p><p>Nesta turned, presumably to check on Cassian and Azriel, and let out a sob when she saw Cassian slumped against the wall, unmoving, silent. She was forced to turn away to block a blow from a guard, but Gwyn was close enough that she could just about make out her words,</p><p>"Cass, come on, please, you're gonna be okay, please," Her sword arm was shaking, and Azriel moved to cover her as she dropped to her knees beside her mate, holding his face, and begging him to hold on, just a bit longer. Azriel's strength was waning now, he couldn't hold off attacks from two sides for long. One last jump brought Gwyn close enough to finally help. Red misted her vision at the sight of a sword hurtling towards him, right for his exposed back as he handled another guard. Gwyn didn't think, didn't plan, she just moved.</p><p>That guard was dead before his sword got anywhere near Azriel, but close enough that Azriel realized how close it had been when he turned, surprise glimmering in his eyes,</p><p>"Gwyn? You have to go, leave us, go!"</p><p>"I can't." She moved again on an instinct, blocking another blow that Azriel had missed in his shock, "Rhysand's on his way, we just have to hold on until he gets here. We're getting out." Gwyn took up Nesta's position, her fear a metallic tang in the back of her mouth, especially at the rumble of power that rolled through the dungeons. She hardly noticed the shadows around her, darting forwards, helping her with each blow, each enemy, before darting away to Azriel. </p><p>They didn't need to speak, each move was together, as one, he moved, she moved, she moved, he moved. Gwyn rolled backwards, Azriel stepped around her to cover her, Azriel stepped sideways, Gwyn whirled to dispatch that enemy. Each movement was easy, fluid, unhurried, Gwyn fell into a familiar headspace, the same as it had been on Ramiel, but this time is wasn't her sisters she was protecting, it was her, whatever Azriel was.</p><p>Power rumbled through the dungeons again, and Azriel shoved her sideways against the wall, throwing his wings up around her as dark power tore through the remaining guards. Gwyn gasped, and hid her face against Azriel,</p><p>"It's Rhys, it's okay." He released her moments later, "He'll cover our escape, let's go," he looked around again and swore,</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Their leader, my half-brother, he's gone, the coward." Azriel grunted as he hauled Cassian to his feet, with Nesta on his other side, half-dragging him the way they had come. Gwyn followed, keeping an eye out for danger, with Cassian almost completely unconscious, neither Azriel or Nesta would be able to carry him and fight, that was Gwyn's job. </p><p>"Is he -" Rhysand's eyes widened at the sight of them, of Cassian</p><p>"He's alive, just about." Cassian's head was hanging low, his eyes closed, his breathing ragged and shallow.</p><p>"Get him out of here." Gwyn ran up the stairs, taking two at a time, and nodded, desperately wishing that they would move faster, she had no idea how many guards there might be in total, more might show up at any moment. Adrenaline faded as they made their way out, movements becoming slower, injuries more crippling, so much so that by the time they had made it outside, into the fresh night air, Azriel was dragging a leg behind him, his breathing shallow as he hauled Cassian with him. They had to stop, if they didn't, he'd keel over, and Gwyn had no idea how to go about healing anything. There was a grassy bank a few hundred meters away,</p><p>"There, can you make it?" Azriel grunted in response, and Gwyn grabbed Cassian's arm from him, "I'll take over," together, she and Nesta just about managed to carry his unconscious weight to the cover of the bank. It was only when she set him down that Gwyn got a chance to really see the scope of Cassian's injuries. His face was pallid, and far too pale, pale from the blood seeping from his wings mostly, broken almost beyond recognition, a bone sticking out of the right one. His breathing was shallow, uneven, and Gwyn gently ran her hands along his ribs, three, no four, broken, another cracked, possibly more, and then there was the sword wound. Nesta was already pressing her hands against the ragged wound in his side, and Gwyn shrugged off her jacket, "Use this." Nesta nodded, her eyes unseeing, tears flooding down her face.</p><p>Azriel hung back, avoiding getting in the way probably, but he was injured too, it was just Nesta that had gotten off lightly, but that was probably why Cassian was as bad as he was, he'd undoubtedly protected her. </p><p>"Sit down, Az, honestly." Gwyn had no idea what she could do about Cassian's wings, and the bleeding was slowing, so she could at least do what she could for Azriel. "Is it just that?" She gestured to the wound on his leg, and he just stared straight at her,</p><p>"You came."</p><p>"Of course I did, did you think I was going to still tight and wait?"</p><p>"You shouldn't have. It was dangerous."</p><p>"Excuse you, why do you think I'm training?"</p><p>"Not to clear up my messes."</p><p>"Your mess?" Gwyn blinked in disbelief, "How is this your fault?" Azriel shrugged, and muttered something, just loud enough for her to hear, but no one else,</p><p>"It always is." Her heart broke a those words, and she froze,</p><p>"It is not." Tears threatened to fall, and she didn't stop them, "You are the bravest male, no, bravest person I've ever met, and you have saved countless lives, avoided countless disasters, the Night Court would be long destroyed without you." She knelt beside him, and cupped his face, "Don't for one second think that, okay?" For perhaps the first time ever, Azriel smiled and muttered,</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>"Now. Is it just that?" She pointed again at the leg wound,</p><p>"Oh. Yeah."A shadow danced around Gwyn's head,</p><p>"Liar," she crooned, "What did you do?"</p><p>"Nothing!" She raised an eyebrow, "Broken ribs," he admitted, and she groaned,</p><p>"Idiot. I can't do anything about the ribs though," She pressed the wound, the bloodflow already slowing with him being still.</p><p>
  <em>Gwyn.</em>
</p><p>Rhysand's voice tapped against her mind, and she let him in,</p><p>
  <em>Where did you go?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Grassy bank. Hurry up.</em>
</p><p>Moments later he crested the bank, and jogged the few steps to reach them, Gwyn had finished patching Azriel up, and turned back to Cassian, he still wasn't waking up, but at least the blood had stopped flowing from that sword wound. Nesta was still quietly crying and begging him not to leave her, Rhysand placed a hand on her shoulder, and said something quietly, and she let him pass, his hands hovering over Cassian's right wing, the one with the bone snapped in two. Gwyn moved to Nesta's side, cradling her head against her chest, she had to hold Nesta tight when Cassian screamed as Rhysand's magic forced the bone back to the right position, and sealed the wound,</p><p>"You're hurting him!" She screamed, trying to break free of Gwyn's grip,</p><p>"He's fixing the bone, he's helping, he's helping," Gwyn muttered, letting Nesta cling on to her as she cried,</p><p>"I can't, Gwyn, I can't, I - I need him," she broke off as another sob forced its way out,</p><p>"I know, I know, Nes, I know. You're not losing him, you're not, okay?" Nesta nodded, but tears were still streaming down her face, "He's gonna be okay." Cassian screamed again as Rhysand set the other dislocated or fractured bones to where they should sit, and Nesta cried harder with each cry of pain from Cassian, until her whole body was shaking with the sobs. She rushed towards him as soon as Rhysand stopped, cupping his face in her hands, running her gaze across his wings, checking that they were really okay,</p><p>"Thank you," she whispered, and noticed his ribs were untouched, but Rhysand pre-empted the question,</p><p>"I'm no good at ribs," he admitted, "But we should be able to move him now,"</p><p>"Why isn't he waking up?" Nesta demanded, and Rhysand threw his hands up,</p><p>"Because he'd be in a lot of pain, so I knocked him out."</p><p>"But he'll be okay?" Nesta's usually powerful, commanding voice had fallen quiet, shaky, and her shoulders were shaking as she brushed the hair out of Cassian's face, and softly kissed his brow. Azriel limped his way towards them, holding on to Gwyn as she held Rhysand's hand, while Nesta gripped the other, and braced herself to winnow.</p><p>*****</p><p>Rhys winnowed them directly into Madja's house, to the room she used to house patients, and shouted for her, apologizing for showing up this late, but she just waved him off, rushing to Cassian's side. Gwyn forced Azriel to sit on the second be in the room, fussing again now that they were safe,</p><p>"You're damn lucky, Rhysand, if you'd got this wrong," she gestured to Cassian's wings, "He might not have been able to fly again, as it is, it's not perfect, but I can fix it." She finished fixing his ribs, and bound his wound before crossing to Azriel, and he winced when she re-set his ribs, and bound his own wound, "You can sleep in your own room, Azriel, Cassian stays here, I need to keep an eye on him tonight."</p><p>"Will he be okay?" Madja's professional demeanor dropped for a moment as she took Nesta's hands,</p><p>"I hope so, he's lost a lot of blood but he's survived this far, so he should make a full recovery, you can stay with him if you like." Nesta nodded, </p><p>"Thank you." Madja squeezed her hands,</p><p>"Go get some sleep the rest of you, Mother knows you need it.</p><p>Rhys winnowed Azriel and Gwyn back to the House before wishing them goodnight and promising to see them in the morning. <em>For a proper debrief</em>  is what he didn't need to add. Gwyn led Azriel straight back to his room, and pulled out a set of sleeping clothes for him, grabbing a spare shirt and turned around for him to change, she seemed to know that he needed quiet to sort through his own mind, but still wrapped her arms around him, reassuring herself that he was okay, and he held her against him. Azriel didn't miss the fact that she'd just changed into one of his spare shirts, that his scent was all over her, and hers all over him, but it was comforting somehow, just to have someone be that comfortable with him,</p><p>"You need to rest," she murmured, and guided him to the bed, pulling herself a chair over, he didn't miss the movement, tried not to think how he had slept in a chair beside her too many nights recently. She had slept in his bed before, but maybe after that nightmare was different than normal, he wouldn't ask her if she wanted to share, she'd probably go back to her bed anyway once he was asleep. Still, his mind emptied when she clasped his hands and brought them to her lips, before leaning against the bed and closing her eyes as he closed his.</p><p>Gwyn held his hands all night, and she was still leaning against the bed when Azriel woke the next morning, his head clearer than it had ever been the morning after a return home. She opened her eyes and looked across at him, her eyes full of hope, and leaned closer to brush her lips against his, smiling as she sat up,</p><p>"I missed you," she mumbled, "I was so worried, especially when we couldn't find you."</p><p>"How did you find us?"</p><p>"The shadow." Ah, he'd been wondering if it really had been able to sense the others, </p><p>"Thank you, for coming to find me."</p><p>"Always," she whispered.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I know it's later than usual, I'm sorry! I'll try and banish the writer's block over the weekend and get another chapter written soon.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Azriel ignored the lingering pain in his ribs, and insisted that he was fine when Gwyn offered to help, he wasn't <em>completely </em>fine, but she'd just worry unnecessarily if he told her. Besides, she was rubbing her shoulder, he didn't want her to make it worse, whatever she'd done to it last night. Where was his jacket? He glanced around, it wasn't in his wardrobe, or tossed aside anywhere,</p><p>"Oh!" Gwyn chuckled to herself as she ran out, returning moments later with his jacket, "I've been wearing it," she muttered, only just loud enough for him to hear, and she looked down at the floor, her head snapping up at his soft laugh,</p><p>"You've been wearing it?"</p><p>"It smelled like you," she mumbled, and he laughed again, gods she didn't even realize what she was doing to him. She shrugged, trying to pass it off, but he noticed the glimmer of relief in her eyes when he didn't complain that she had taken it,</p><p>"Now it smells like you." She started, but didn't complain when he wound an arm around her waist, "I'm sorry, is that okay?"</p><p>"Yeah, I just wasn't expecting it."</p><p>"You weren't?" He mentally kicked himself for the disappointment in his voice,</p><p>"No, Az, it's not that I don't want it, I just wasn't expecting you to, that's all, I like being close to you, really." She twisted to look up at him, and relief swelled inside him at the sincerity on her face,</p><p>
  <em>Talk to her. Ask her what she wants.</em>
</p><p>He knew he should listen to them, should ask her what she wanted from him, but the words froze on his lips, and he just guided her out of the room,</p><p>"We should get to the River House." Still, his mind, even his shadows were roaring at him to talk to her properly, to stop being a coward, she had come to find him. <em>She</em> had found him, <em>she</em> had saved his life, <em>she</em> had gotten him out, and now she was here, in his arms as he flew, humming softly to herself, an arm around his neck, playing with the hair at the back of his head. She was so calm, so relaxed, he couldn't fathom why she had chosen him to trust, but he would not let her down. He cradled her head against his chest, she smiled up at him, and he found himself staring into her eyes, only just avoiding flying straight into a bird as he started to spiral downwards to the River House.</p><p>Cassian and Nesta were already there when they landed, someone must have gone to fetch them from Madja's house already. Cassian looked fine, but at the same time he didn't, he was smiling, seated on a couch, with Nesta perched on the arm beside him, an arm around his shoulders. His wings were still bandaged, but he didn't look like he was in much pain, although he was a bit quieter than normal, but that was probably just a pain-numbing drug that Madja had given him. His eyes lit up when he saw Azriel, but there was still a hollowness in them, and he was paler than usual, paler than he'd been in a very long time. Azriel squeezed Nesta's shoulder as he passed, and she shot him a grateful glance,</p><p>"Feyre just went to settle Nyx, and Rhysand is getting Cass a cup of tea."</p><p>"I'm fine," Cassian muttered, "I don't need looking after." Nesta just shot him a glare,</p><p>"You're <em>not</em> fine, and that's allowed, I'm looking after you, whether you like it or not." He huffed again, but didn't argue any more, and Azriel raised an eyebrow, usually Cassian <em>enjoyed</em> verbal sparring with Nesta, he never gave up like that. Before he could question it, Feyre walked in, and collapsed on a couch, rolling her eyes, but grinned when she realized that Azriel and Gwyn had arrived, jumping up to hug him,</p><p>"How are you feeling?" she muttered when she released him, "You hurt your ribs, right?" She glanced across at Gwyn, who nodded,</p><p>"And his leg, but he wasn't limping this morning, and he's not complaining, but it's Az, so who knows." Azriel poked her in the side, setting her off into a fit of giggles,</p><p>"My ribs are fine, stop worrying."</p><p>"I think we all know that's a lie, but so long as they're not hurting too much." She laughed,</p><p>"Really, Gwyn, I'm just a bit sore, but fine." She narrowed her eyes, and forced him to sit down, staying pressed against his side, an arm slipping around his waist. The action didn't go unnoticed, nor did Azriel's arm around her, but no-one commented, and the mood darkened once Rhys had fussed about Cassian as well as Nesta, and was forced to get on with the reason they were meeting properly.</p><p>"We know who was responsible now, but what we don't know is his motivation, or where he's gone now. I sent Nuala and Cerridwen to check on the keep after we got home last night, it's empty, completely empty." Azriel winced, if only he had made sure not to lose him, then they'd have a source of information, but he'd failed, again. Gwyn rubbed his side, and his shadows rushed to her, almost hiding her from sight, completely unbidden. She stayed tucked into his side for the whole meeting, and actually let out a squeak of outrage when he mentioned that his brother had wanted to steal the shadows, to gain an advantage in the case of a civil war.</p><p>Once Rhys had winnowed Cassian and Nesta back up to the House, Azriel made to scoop Gwyn up, but she put a hand on his chest to stop him,</p><p>"Tell me what you're thinking," she murmured,</p><p>"Nothing. It doesn't matter." </p><p>"It does. Az, please, something's bothering you, tell me how I can help."</p><p>"You can't, it doesn't matter," he insisted, there was no point in explaining himself, she didn't need his burdens as well. Gwyn squeezed his hand, </p><p>"Let me help you. Tell me what's bothering you." Azriel lifted a hand to her face, then trailed it across her shoulder, squeezing gently, and she winced.</p><p>"That. That's bothering me."</p><p>"How did you-"</p><p>"You were rubbing it this morning. You got hurt because of me, Gwyn. How can I be okay with that? I let you get hurt, I fucked up, and you and Cass got hurt because of it."</p><p>"It was my choice. I came to get you because I <em>chose</em> to, Rhysand asked me to stay behind, I made him let me come with him." Azriel huffed, while that may have been true, his point was that she shouldn't have had to come and get him, he'd gotten complacent, he should have heard them the moment they entered his room, not only once there was a dagger at his throat. "Az?" He'd gone quiet again, and Gwyn ducked under his arm to wrap her arms around his waist, "Talk to me."</p><p>"You shouldn't have had to come in the first place, I failed, and you had to come fix it. I won't fail you again, I swear." She looked up at him, her mouth dropping open in disbelief,</p><p>"You have <em>never</em> failed me, or anyone else." That wasn't true, but he appreciated the sentiment, and he leaned into her touch when Gwyn reached up to cup his face, "I will always help you if you need me." Azriel didn't speak for a few moments, letting Gwyn's presence ground him, and she stayed in his arms, pressed tightly against him,</p><p>"What do you want with me?" He breathed, and Gwyn froze for a moment, "Tell me what you want."</p><p>"I-I don't know exactly." She cringed away for a moment, then rushed back to him, "I don't know what I'll be okay with, but I know that I want you, just you, my Az." Oh gods, he could hardly breathe as he beheld her in that moment, he was so deep in with her, but he wasn't scared, not anymore, no, he welcomed it, welcomed the new feeling coursing though him. She was here, and he wasn't afraid, she wanted him, not for sex, just him, and he wasn't afraid, he was falling in love with her, and he wasn't afraid. She closed her eyes when he leaned down to gently kiss her again,</p><p>"Then you have me," he whispered and finally lifted her into his arms to fly back up to the House.</p><p>*****</p><p>Azriel held her tightly as he flew, and Gwyn buried her face in his neck, <em>you have me,</em> he had said, she had him, she had him, and she wasn't letting go, not now, not ever.</p><p>She did have to let go once they'd landed, she wasn't going to follow him to the bathroom, he could do that on his own. Still, she couldn't stand still to wait for him, her heart was still pounding, she was sure he must have heard it on the way back. She slipped out into the corridor, his scent following her, but any thoughts of Azriel vanished at the sight of Nesta leaning against her door. Her face was buried in her hands, and she slowly sank to the floor, leaning against the wall, and Gwyn could hear her attempts at deep breaths from down the corridor,</p><p>"Nes?" Nesta's head shot up, and Gwyn rushed towards her at the sight of her red-rimmed eyes, "Nesta, what happened?" She breathed as she she dropped to the floor beside her, and pulled her into a tight embrace,</p><p>"I don't know what to do." She whispered,</p><p>"About what?"</p><p>"Cass. He won't let Madja give him any pain numbing drugs, and he doesn't want to worry me, but he's still in pain, and I don't know how to stop it." She sniffed, and rubbed at her eyes, "He's such an idiot, and he won't even admit it."</p><p>"Have you explained to him why you're worried?" Nesta nodded, and closed her eyes,</p><p>"I've tried, but doesn't want to talk about it, he just tries to kiss me every time I ask if he's really feeling okay, but he's not, and I don't know how to fix it. I can't get him to talk about it, but he's hurting." Gwyn squeezed Nesta's hands,</p><p>"Breathe," she murmured as Nesta's breaths sped up, and she sobbed quietly, "Breathe in," Nesta drew in a wobbly breath, "Now breathe out," Gwyn held her hands until Nesta had calmed a little, "Is there a reason he wants you to think he's okay?"</p><p>"He's got this idea that there'll be some unrest in Illyria, and he's probably right, but he wants to be able to go and fight if there is, and he'll just hurt himself if he does. I can't watch him get hurt, Gwyn, I can't." Tears brimmed in Nesta's eyes again, and Gwyn gently wiped them away,</p><p>"Have you told him that?"</p><p>"No. I don't want him to think I'm babying him."</p><p>"He won't, you're allowed to be worried about him, he's injured, and it's Cassian, he needs someone to keep him from being reckless. Tell him that's why you're particularly worried. We'll figure it out. We'll figure it all out." Gwyn held Nesta against her, and Nesta clung on to Gwyn as if the world might vanish if she let go. Her breathing slowed, and her sobs quietened until she had calmed down a bit, enough to really think straight. Nesta opened her mouth to speak, but snapped her head sideways at a soft noise from inside the room, Gwyn turned her head to listen, footsteps. Nesta wiped her eyes as the door opened, and Cassian knelt beside her.</p><p>"Did you hear all that?" She whispered, and Cassian nodded, devastation marring his face, Nesta never cried, except perhaps over a book, but almost never about real life. Cassian cupped her face in his hands, wiping away the last of her tears,</p><p>"I'm sorry, sweetheart," he murmured, holding Nesta against him, "I didn't want to worry you, that's all," Nesta sniffed again, but threw her arms around his neck, careful to avoid his wings,</p><p>"You're an idiot,"</p><p>"I know. I promise I won't do anything stupid, even if Illyria is restless at the moment,"</p><p>"You'll wait until you're fully healed?"</p><p>"Yeah, I'll even let you ban me from fighting until then if you like." Nesta laughed softly, </p><p>"Then you're banned from fighting." She said as Gwyn slipped away, leaving them alone, and went to find Azriel. He wasn't in his room, nor in hers, and he certainly wouldn't have gone to the training pitch. Maybe he wanted some space to think, she certainly needed that. </p><p>She wasn't sure where she was going, but her legs were moving, following some invisible path. With each step, swords flashed in her mind, with each step she saw Azriel standing alone in that dungeon, she saw Cassian bleeding out, heard Nesta's crying as she tried to save him. With each step she saw what could have happened if she had been mere minutes later, she saw the light in Cassian's eyes fail, she saw Nesta scream, she saw Azriel fall. No. No, she had gotten there on time, she had gotten them all out, they were safe now. She kept walking until she reached a familiar door, not quite realizing how she had gotten there.</p><p>The sun was radiant over the streets of Velaris when Gwyn stepped out onto the roof, she gazed at it's rays shining onto the Sidra, the water almost dancing in the light, storefronts filled with people. She froze at the edge of the roof, watching, just watching people go in and out of shops, safe and happy, they were safe and happy, she was safe, and maybe, just maybe, she could work on being happy. The shadow that had stayed with her was lingering by her side, but floating off along the rooftop occasionally,</p><p>"What?" Gwyn asked, holding out her hand for it to come back to her. It did, it always did, but it still wanted to go that way, Gwyn followed it, and it danced with joy when she found Azriel sitting with his back to her, shadows around him, blocking out the world. She scuffed her feet a little, just to let him know that she was there, and perched on the edge beside him. Almost, immediately, he wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her away from the edge,</p><p>"You'll fall."</p><p>"You'd catch me if I did." She leaned her head against him, and the shadows moved to accommodate her, "I never thanked you for this one," she gestured to the shadow that had followed her around, "It said that you told it to look after me." Azriel smiled,</p><p>"It likes you, I didn't even need to ask, I just suggested it."</p><p>"Do you want it back?"</p><p>"No, I like knowing that you always have something to help you, and it likes you, more than it likes me."</p><p>"But I can't talk to it."</p><p>"Then how did it tell you that I wanted it to keep you safe?"</p><p>"Yes and no questions, it took a while." Azriel chuckled, and cradled Gwyn's head against his chest, resting his cheek on the top of her head. Silence reigned across the roof, but Gwyn didn't mind, this was a good silence, a comfortable silence, a safe silence, it was Azriel, her Az, she had always felt safe with him. </p><p>"You see that garden there?"Gwyn nodded, "It's always really quiet after dark, it's one of the few places in the city that's ever silent, even at night most of the city is still alive, but there, it's calm, still, I'll take you there at some point if you like." Gwyn grinned, she couldn't help herself,</p><p>"It's lovely, what about that?" She pointed at an empty building,</p><p>"Oh that's Rita's, it's a club, so it's not even open at this time of day, but it's always really busy, I'm sure that Mor will wan to take you there soon, but I can tell her to leave you alone if you want." Gwyn laughed softly, and shook her head,</p><p>"Maybe not yet, with loud music and lots of people, I don't know." Gwyn almost cried at the gentleness as Azriel kissed the top of her head,</p><p>"Just tell me the kind of place you want to go, I want to take you everywhere, I want you to see the whole city, but on your terms." Gwyn lifted her head from his chest and gazed into his eyes, she had never looked before, not properly, she knew they were hazel, but now, now she really looked, losing herself in the way the greens and browns flowed over each other, melted into one another.</p><p>"Azriel,"</p><p>"Mhhhm?"</p><p>"Kiss me." He did, gently, briefly, nothing more than a quick brush of his lips against hers, but she didn't <em>want</em> quick, she wanted him. "No. <em>Kiss me</em>." Surprise flickered in Azriel's eyes before he dipped his head again, and wound a hand into Gwyn's hair. She rose up slightly, pressing herself against him, and wrapped her arms around his neck. Gwyn's heart was pounding in her chest, so loud that he must have heard it, he must have. It didn't matter anymore, and she opened for him, practically melting into his arms when he carefully squeezed around her waist a little tighter. </p><p>She couldn't think, couldn't breathe, not with Azriel beside her, kissing her, his tongue lazily exploring her mouth. She panted for breath when he pulled back, dropping her face into Azriel's shoulder,</p><p>"I'd kiss you all day if you let me," he murmured, she wanted to let him, gods damn her she wanted to let him, but she couldn't face racing into whatever this was between them, she could wait. She relaxed into his arms, leaning back against him, and he flopped backwards on the roof tiles, his wings splayed out beneath him. He kept one arm around Gwyn's waist, pulling her down with him, and she nestled into his side, all but falling asleep beside him.</p><p>She lost track of how long they stayed there like that, holding each other, at peace, safe and happy. The sun had begun its descent when Gwyn finally moved, rolling over onto Azriel's chest to look him in the eyes. She loved this, but she couldn't ignore everything forever,</p><p>"Az?" He opened his eyes, "Nesta thinks there's going to be trouble, Cassian wants to be able to fight soon, Rhysand looked worried earlier, Mor is off at the Hewn City all the time at the moment." He sighed, and pushed himself up to a sitting position, "Is there going to be a war?"</p><p>"Yes. I think so."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gwyn laughed when she met Emerie's eyes, and the Illyrian female squealed at the sight of her and raced towards her, almost crushing her ribs as she wrapped her arms around her,</p><p>"Why didn't you tell me what you were doing? Gods, Mor showed up and told me what had happened and that you were off Cauldron knows where <em>on your own</em> to try and fix it! What were you thinking?"</p><p>"Good you see you too, Em,"</p><p>"Gwyn! I was so worried." Emerie spun Gwyn around, twice, "Are you hurt?"</p><p>"I'm fine. And I was thinking about them," And about him, but she couldn't quite voice that, not yet, not until she was sure he was okay with her voicing that. "And I wasn't <em>alone</em>, Rhysand went with me."</p><p>"He wasn't supposed to go into the keep at all,"</p><p>"He did, he helped us get out." Emerie narrowed her eyes,</p><p>"If you <em>ever</em> pull that kind of shit again,"</p><p>"I know, I know," Gwyn threw her arms around Emerie, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was going, I should have." Emerie huffed, but sighed, </p><p>"Nesta?"</p><p>"With Cassian."</p><p>"And is he-"</p><p>"He's okay, recovering, but Madja says he'll be fine, he just needs a bit of time to rest." Emerie nodded, "C'mon, let's go see them." Despite Emerie's presence, Azriel clasped Gwyn's hand tightly in his as they walked up to Nesta and Cassian's room. He didn't let go when Emerie knocked on the door, nor when Nesta answered it. Gwyn smiled to herself at the way Nesta's face lit up at the sight of their sister, the tiredness in her eyes fading, she even stood up straighter as she grinned,</p><p>"I should have come earlier, I can't leave you alone for five minutes," Emerie chuckled, "I'll be visiting more often now, Mor's offered me a spare room in the townhouse so I can stay here sometimes." Emerie nudged Nesta back into the room, running her eyes over her, "Sit." she ordered, and a piece of chocolate cake appeared in her hands moments later, "For the miniature pegasus."</p><p>"For the miniature pegasus," Nesta echoed, and smiled as she took the plate from Emerie, </p><p>"How's Cassian?"</p><p>"Being a stubborn ass, as per usual," Nesta mumbled, "So he's fine. Sleeping, but fine." Emerie glanced across to the lump under the blankets on the bed, and raised an eyebrow at Nesta, "I'm fine, Em, I'm fine." Oh really? Gwyn tilted her head to the side, and Nesta rolled her eyes, "I am. I'm fine, I promise." Azriel shook his head gently,</p><p>"A wonder that none of you are daemati with that trick," he whispered, and Gwyn had to hold in a giggle, instead prodding him in the side. The movement drew Emerie's attention, and she noted their joined hands, but smiled and didn't comment, at least not yet. Gwyn groaned inwardly and mentally prepared herself for the bombardment she was sure to get the moment she and Emerie had a chance to talk. Emerie had already settled on a couch beside Nesta, but before Gwyn had chosen a seat, the lump on the bed moved, and promptly fell onto the floor.</p><p>"Cass!" Nesta all but threw the cake aside as she ran to help him up. He groaned, but gently, just complaining, not actually in pain. Gwyn did snort when he shook his head, his hair flicking around like a wolf's might after a swim.</p><p>"Hello, Cassian," Emerie chuckled, and he raised a hand in greeting, allowing Nesta to lift him back onto the bed, but refused to lie back down, insisting that he was okay, that he hadn't hurt himself. Nesta fussed for another few moments, before retrieving the cake,</p><p>"How's Windhaven?" Cassian fixed Emerie with a look, clearly desperate for any idea of how soon he might need to be back on his feet properly,</p><p>"Rainy and cold, I'm sure you remember it." Emerie said, quickly deflecting the question, "Do you mind if I help you with those?" She gestured to his wings, still bandaged, still clearly painful, and he nodded, allowing her to move and sit beside him, "You don't have to carry them the same as when they're uninjured." She gently guided his wings to sit lower, more relaxed, and his whole body eased, the tension from the pain diminishing. "If they keep hurting, ask Madja for arnicana, when your wings are injured, even if its not the main cause, the muscles tighten up, arnicana salve helps them to relax, and lessens the pain. Nesta can help with that." Cassian grunted noncommittally, "It's not weak to admit you need help recovering, I still have to use arnicana at least once a week for mine, it's just something to help, I can get my hands on some extra if Madja hasn't got any, it can be difficult to get outside of Illyria." Cassian smiled,</p><p>"Okay. Thank you." Still, Gwyn couldn't help but notice the way his gaze lingered on the jagged scars along Emerie's own wings, and he whispered, "I'm sorry."</p><p>"What?" He shrugged, </p><p>"We should have found a way to help even more, not just the brace."</p><p>"Cassian." Emerie waited for him to meet her eyes, "I don't need anything more, I'm quite happy as I am, I use the arnicana to help when they ache, they rarely hurt properly, and it's okay, I don't want to heal them, I'm used to life on the ground, it's okay, really. The only thing would be to get rid of the ache, but it's a minor inconvenience now." Cassian still winced when he passed his gaze over her wings, "Stop feeling sorry for me. I'm absolutely fine." He jumped, and nodded,</p><p>"That's not what I meant. I just meant, we should have found a way for you to fly again."</p><p>"I don't need to fly, I quite happy on the ground." Gwyn blinked in surprise,</p><p>"No way! You're scared of heights!"</p><p>"I am not!"</p><p>"You are!" Nesta grinned, "That's why you didn't like the balcony,"</p><p>"Okay, so I'm scared of heights, so what?" Gwyn chuckled again, and snorted at Azriel's efforts to contain his own laughter, and failing. </p><p>"You're an Illyrian," she snorted, "You can't be scared of heights."</p><p>"Ah, ah, but I can't fly, so it doesn't matter," Emerie snorted at Cassian's surprise, and skipped past Gwyn to escape to the safety of the empty corridor, "Goodnight lovebirds," she winked at Nesta, and smiled knowingly at Gwyn, before giving Azriel a pointed look. <em>You hurt her and I'll gut you.</em> Gwyn laughed as Emerie's gaze softened again as she disappeared down the corridor,</p><p>"We'll leave you be as well," Azriel said, and Gwyn silently closed the door behind them, giggling when Azriel slid an arm fully around her waist and held her against him. She sighed, and leaned back into him, closing her eyes for a moment. A year ago she never would have thought that she could be this comfortable with a male, let alone starting to fall in love with one. She let Azriel hold her close all the way back up to the corridor separating their rooms, he needed the reassurance that she was safe as much as she did, besides, she'd never felt safer than when she was in his arms. They walked the rest of the way in a comfortable silence, but Gwyn's heart sank as she recognized her door coming up, and before she knew it the words were out of her mouth,</p><p>"Can I stay with you?" She froze as she realized, and the few seconds it took him to register her words felt like hours,</p><p>"You want to stay with me?"</p><p>"Yes. If that's okay." He grinned, spinning her around to face him,</p><p>"That is more than okay, Gwyn, all you have to do is tell me what you want." His gaze lingered on her face, meeting her eyes and dipping lower. Gwyn sucked in a breath, calming her trembling nerves as she lifted her face to meet his. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and let one hand slide upwards to hold his head against her, her fingers automatically gripping his hair gently. Azriel was trembling with restraint as she opened, meeting her every move with one of his own, every thought narrowed down until it was him, just him, his arm around her waist, his hand cupping the back of her head. Shadows swirled around them both, hiding them in a cocoon of darkness. Gwyn gasped as the shadows slipped around her, not frightening her, never frightening her, simply holding her close to Azriel, her eyes flickered open as he moved, his great, beautiful wings curving around her as he pressed his forehead against hers, their breath mingling in the air between them. She smiled, and closed her eyes again. Safe. She was safe.</p><p>*****</p><p>Gwyn slept in one of Azriel's shirts that night, slipping under the covers with no hesitation and curling up beside him. Azriel resisted the urge to reach out for her, her terms, it would always be on her terms. Gwyn readjusted the blankets, wriggled closer to him, and snuggled into his chest as he gently wrapped his arms, and wings, around her. She mumbled his name softly, and scrunched her nose up when a shadow brushed the hair away from her face, Azriel couldn't bring himself to calm them yet, but they stilled as he closed his eyes, Gwyn's scent lingering as he drifted off to sleep.</p><p>
  <em>"That's our star, forever." </em>
  <em>Azriel smiled as his mother turned back towards him, "Oh honestly, Azzy, do you ever comb your hair, it's a mess." Azriel winced as she tried to flatten the windswept tangles in his hair, her fingers snagging in a knot, </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I just landed, Mom!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"As if that's an excuse." She cupped his face in one hand, thinking to herself, but smiled softly as she walked back to the house, his house, her safe haven, away from anyone who had tried to hurt her, a place Azriel had built himself, every stone, every brick, he had even made the furniture. "C'mon, Azzy, what are you waiting for? You'll catch cold!" Azriel sighed as his mother's voice floated through the air, soft, melodic. She leaned against the doorframe, and smiled, but something was wrong, her smiled faltered, and she mouthed at him to run as the shadowy figure of his half-brother appeared behind her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Mother!" He screamed, but his feet wouldn't move, wouldn't move as his mother stumbled away from the monster behind her, falling to the floor. Azriel blinked, and his brother vanished, replaced by a faceless male in a Hybern uniform, his mother screamed again, but her voice was different, younger, lighter, and her wings were gone. She screamed, her hair falling from the ribbon, not the dark brown of his mother's, no, now her hair was auburn, and Azriel shouted again as frightened teal eyes met his own. Azriel tried to call on his shadows as the faceless male approached her, flickering between a soldier of Hybern and the monster who called himself Azriel's brother. He was still frozen in place as Gwyn screamed his name, desperately calling for help, help that he could not give. He was helpless to save her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Your fault." A voice whispered in his ear, he recognized the voice, but it wasn't Mor standing beside him, it was just another faceless rebel. A dense fog descended so that he couldn't see Gwyn any longer, and he tried to move towards her, but he was still frozen in place</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You brought her into this," Elain's voice hissed into his other ear. Azriel tried to shake his head, no, he hadn't, had he? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Your fault," Mor again, "You, you did this, you."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You cast me aside for her, and led her to this." Elain's voice broke the spell, and he stumbled forwards, </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You." They chanted as one, "You. You brought her here. You took her to danger. You." Azriel recoiled in horror as the fog lifted "You. You killed her." Azriel sobbed at the sight of Gwyn's lifeless body, still lying outside his mother's house, and fell to his knees beside her. She couldn't be dead, she couldn't be. He cradled her against his chest, even as her scent faded, and the smell of death filled the air around him. Azriel was still begging Gwyn to wake up, to come back to him when her face flickered, changing again, Feyre, Cassian, Mor, Rhys, Nesta, Amren, Elain, Mom. He couldn't breathe, he was going to die here with them, he was going to-</em>
</p><p>Azriel's eyes flew open, and he lurched upwards in the bed, his breathing was normal, his heart was racing, none of it had been real, there she was, still sleeping beside him. Azriel rubbed his eyes, cursing the silent tears that fell at the sight of Gwyn safe and alive. Her eyes flickered open, and she blinked in the darkness,</p><p>"Az?"</p><p>"It's okay."</p><p>"What happened?"</p><p>"Bad dream, it's fine, go back to sleep, it's fine." Gwyn sat up, and cupped his face in her hands,</p><p>"What?" He cursed those damned tears that started falling again at her concern, at the way she cared, even though he <em>had</em> brought her into danger, he <em>had</em> almost gotten her killed, and a part of him screamed in defiance at that possibility.</p><p>"All I've brought you is danger,"  he whispered,</p><p>"And happiness, and training, and my sisters, and the ability to go outside again," Gwyn rambled on and on, a hand on his shoulder the whole time, alarm flashing in her eyes as his breaths became shallower, more rapid, rattling in his chest, but she kept talking. She kept talking, when most people would have left him alone to 'figure it out' as he had always tired to convince them he needed, that he didn't need the worry in Gwyn's eyes, nor the relief when his breathing steadied, but he did, he needed it, needed her. "You know, Nesta told me that Helion has pegasi, she said we should have a race, us on pegasi, against you and Cassian," he smiled, and she continued "I've always wanted wings of my own," she sighed, "I've been staring at the stars my whole life, just wishing to be among them, in their place, high above the world, away from everything, just me and the stars, and the wind, I think it speaks, you know, if you know how to listen to it. Just like you and the shadows, I think there are those who can hear the wind whispering, it must be whispering, the way it rustles past my ears, I just wish I understood it."</p><p>Gwyn was still talking when Azriel finally fell back to sleep, his face buried in the crook of her neck, her hand cradling his head against her as she kept talking, about the stars, about the library, about chocolate covered strawberries of all things, but she kept talking. </p><p>*****</p><p>Gwyn gently stroked Azriel's hair as he slept, never letting go, she was never <em>going </em>to let go, not in a hundred years, a thousand, a million if they had that long. For as long as she could, as long as he wanted her, she was going to make sure he never felt like that again. He was everything she had ever wished for, all rolled up into one person, he wasn't perfect, she knew that. No-one was completely perfect, but that didn't change the fact that he was perfect <em>for her</em>, and she'd be damned if she'd let his fear change that. She'd be damned if she let her own fear change that.</p><p>She squashed her fear down, the one thing preventing her from saying the words she had wanted to the moment she had reached him in that dungeon, not now, not when he couldn't hear her. She would find a way to tell him, later, she'd tell him later.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Azriel shot a glare at Cassian as his brother raised an eyebrow and smirked at Azriel's arm around Gwyn's waist. </p><p>
  <em>Drop it.</em>
</p><p>He put as much meaning into the glare as possible, Cassian relented, and Azriel rolled his eyes, but a part of him leapt for joy to see the color filling his face again, the light in his eyes, the fluidity of his movements. He couldn't help the half-smile when Cassian turned to the doorway behind him, and grinned, alive, he looked alive now. </p><p>Azriel followed Cassian's gaze to the doorway, ignoring the way his shadows were still dancing around Gwyn's feet, they hadn't stopped since they'd woken this morning, and with no sign of them ever stopping, Azriel had given up complaining. Feyre was grinning at him, with Rhys standing behind her, and Azriel raised an eyebrow,</p><p>"Nyx is asleep, and with Nuala." Rhys offered as an explanation, before dropping into the chair beside Azriel, with Feyre claiming the seat across from him, between Nesta and Emerie. Gwyn kept holding on to his hand even as the House provided breakfast, but he was forced to let go to eat, keeping half an eye on her even as he devoured the food in front of him, immediately clasping her hand again once he'd finished. Rhys glanced questioningly across at him, but there was nothing about Gwyn in his eyes, just the worry that had kept him, kept them all alive over the years. Azriel nodded, and rolled his shoulders, he was fine, hardly any pain at all, Madja's magic had all but done its work now. Rhys raised an eyebrow, but didn't object, passing his attention to Cassian, with a smile at Gwyn, which she gladly returned, and Azriel found himself mirroring her.</p><p>Still, that calmness that had crept over Gwyn faded the moment Emerie explained why she had really been so late to visit. Every rebel sympathizer in Windhaven had vanished, every last one. Even with Mor having sent his spies to confirm it before returning to the continent, Azriel winced visibly for not knowing, and Emerie shot him an apologetic look,</p><p>"When?"</p><p>"Three days ago." Three days, if he'd been here, if he'd been doing his damn job, they'd have known, would have been able to respond,</p><p><em>It's nothing we didn't expect, </em>Rhys said into his mind at the same time that Gwyn squeezed his hand, <em>And it's nothing that we weren't prepared for. </em>His brother offered him a smile while Azriel grappled with the guilt threatening to rise again. He closed his eyes for a heartbeat, no, he was here, and he would raise hell against anyone who threatened his family. When he opened his eyes, Rhys' smirk confirmed that there was nothing of the fear left in them, only the determination, the anger.</p><p>Whilst Emerie was explaining exactly what had happened, Cerridwen pushed open the door, and made her way silently across to him, handing him a report, from Illyria by the look of it. Azriel thanked her, and she vanished again, he skimmed the overview while the room fell silent, watching, waiting, and he sighed as he spoke,</p><p>"She's right. And it's not just Windhaven, it's all of Illyria. Just over a third of the males have disappeared, some of their families with them, some alone, but no idea where." That was his next move, to find them, wherever they had gone, gone or been taken, whichever it was. He hardly noticed his shadows stopping their dancing as he spoke, leaving his side entirely to hover around Gwyn, shrouding her in darkness, in safety. "I'm going to meet with some of my spies in a few hours, find out everything we know, and," he hesitated, preparing for the resistance to his next request, "It'd put my mind at ease if you'd get Gwyn a room in the River House, Rhys." Gwyn shot him a glare, but relented at the pleading look he offered, and Rhys nodded, </p><p>"If she wants it." Gwyn sighed, and nodded,</p><p>"It makes sense, it'll be easier to manage everything if we're all close together." Azriel hadn't realized how worried he'd been that she might refuse until she agreed, and he almost laughed at the joy that swept through him as she said 'we', she <em>wanted </em>to be a part of his family, she wouldn't shy away from that part of him. He planted a kiss on top of her head as he slipped away to head out to the meeting, not caring who might be watching, and left his shadows behind with her, all of them.</p><p>*****</p><p>Gwyn stared after Azriel even after he'd disappeared from view, hardly noticing the rest of the conversation until Nesta reached across the table to grasp Gwyn's hand,</p><p>"He'll be okay"</p><p>"I know. I just, I don't know," she shrugged, "I can't help it," Nesta chuckled softly,</p><p>"Tell me about it, that's the problem with these idiots isn't it?" Despite herself, Gwyn snorted, then burst out laughing at Rhysand's feigned offense when Feyre agreed. She couldn't completely banish her worry, but with her sisters there, with her friends there, she could push it aside, at least for now.</p><p>It didn't take long for Gwyn to be ready to move down to the River House, and she closed her eyes as Rhysand gently took her hand, preparing herself for the rush of wind as he winnowed them across Velaris. It didn't matter that she'd done it before, she still stumbled when they appeared in the garden, but caught herself before she could fall flat on her face,</p><p>"Alright?" She nodded, and made to speak, but the words died on her tongue when she locked eyes with someone else across the garden. It was a conscious effort not to reach for the missing necklace as Elain looked at her. Gwyn made to turn away, and thanked Rhysand for bringing her, but Elain shouted across the garden,</p><p>"Gwyneth! Wait!" Gwyn paused, and turned to face Elain, carefully controlling her gaze to avoid the glare that she wanted to fix her with, "I - I just wanted to apologize, I don't know what came over me, I just," she broke off, and reached for Gwyn's hands, gently squeezing them as she continued, "Seeing him with you, the way he was looking at you, I was jealous, it was stupid, and I had no right to be jealous, we never even had anything. It was just the way he was laughing and smiling with you, Cauldron, even his shadows love you, it just reminded me that I don't have that. I should never have taken it out on you. I regretted it instantly, I'm sorry, I wanted to apologize, but you'd already gone, then Az ran after you, and I just panicked. Nesta shouted at me afterwards, and I tried to find you, but by the time I got back you'd both gone, and I know we haven't really spoken much, but I don't want to leave it like this. I'm glad he has you, that you have him, and, if you can forgive me, I'd like to be your friend." Gwyn offered her a little smile,</p><p>"I'd like that." Elain beamed at her, and made to hug her, but froze, and Gwyn stepped towards her, "That's okay, I'm not fragile, I won't break."</p><p>"Oh, it's not that, I just wasn't sure if you would want me to touch you." Gwyn smiled again, and shook her head,</p><p>"Don't walk on eggshells around me, I don't want pity." Elain froze for a moment, then smiled, and laughed,</p><p>"Gods, no wonder you and Nesta get along so well. Thank you, for giving me a second chance."</p><p>"You made a mistake, just don't make the same one twice."</p><p>Rhysand was standing just inside, pretending he hadn't been listening, and Gwyn choked on a laugh, </p><p>"I spoke to Elain."</p><p>"Oh really?" He laughed, "I had no idea." Gwyn chuckled again, </p><p>"I assume there's a reason you're waiting for me?"</p><p>"Well I couldn't just leave you to wander around until you happened upon you room could I?" He gestured up the stairs, "Second on the left, and I don't want to leave you alone, there's nothing I can be doing until Az gets back, so if you don't want to be alone," he broke off when he noticed Gwyn staring into space, "Gwyn?" She started, and looked back across to him, "He's fine, I promise, not even I know where his meeting spots are." She nodded, then shook her head and laughed,</p><p>"I'll hold you to that, High Lord."</p><p>"High Lord? Oooof, that usually means I've royally fucked up."</p><p>"Not just yet." Gwyn chuckled and followed Rhys into a living room,</p><p>"While you're here, I wanted to ask you something." Gwyn nodded, "Azriel, is he actually okay? He regularly lies to me about his recovery from any injuries, and I assume you know?" Gwyn paused, trying to decide exactly what to tell him,</p><p>"He's not in much pain anymore, but, and I don't think he knows that I noticed, he still avoids twisting around, I think his ribs are a bit sore, but he is mostly alright." Rhys visibly relaxed,</p><p>"Thank you. I worry about him, we all do, I'm glad you found him."</p><p>"Found him?"</p><p>"I'm not blind, Gwyn." She shuffled on her chair, "He's happier than I've seen him in years, because of you." </p><p>"I'm not sure it's me,"</p><p>"It is you. And I don't want you, either of you, to think that you have to hide it from us, any of us, we won't push anything, but please, don't think you have to hide." Gwyn smiled, and pursed her lips,</p><p>"It's not that I'm worried about what you all might think, it's that I'm worried he might not want to be open about anything yet, it's only been a few days."</p><p>"A few days? Maybe since you admitted it, but it's been much longer than that." Longer? Perhaps it had been, she'd certainly been wanting to spend as much time as possible with him for a while now, and he'd never once complained, never shrunk away from her,</p><p>"He just understands me, that's all." Rhys chuckled again,</p><p>"He's never allowed any of us to know who he's been with before, I don't even know if he only likes females, or if he's also been with males." Gwyn chuckled,</p><p>"You have no idea?"</p><p>"None. But he never hid his feelings for you, he quite obviously made sure you were protected this morning, and I'll just say that he doesn't kiss me to say goodbye." Gwyn snorted with laughter at the image that sprung up in her mind, </p><p>"I'd say not." Gwyn's attention snapped across to the doorway, to a grinning Nesta, </p><p>"We're moving in too, makes life easier if we're close together at the moment."</p><p>*****</p><p>It took all of Azriel's self control not to fly back to Velaris at the first report, then even more at the second, and the third. Gone, the rebels were completely gone, not just from their camps, but from Illyria entirely. Velaris was safe, Velaris was safe, Rhys was actually there, there was no way the wards would fail whilst he was there. But Gwyn was there too, and she could be in danger, if an army of rebel Illyrians showed up even Gwyn would be at risk. He didn't need to rush back yet, not until he'd spoken to everyone.</p><p>Still, with each passing second, he found himself more and more tempted to gaze West, even if he couldn't see the city, let alone Gwyn from here, just to reassure himself that she wan't about to be attacked, to see that there was no airborne army heading fro the city. A familiar face appeared in the forest in front of him,</p><p>"The stars are bright tonight." She said, keeping her distance,</p><p>"They shine with the moon." She smiled the moment he finished speaking,</p><p>"I was worried that something had happened to you when Morrigan called us to meet,"</p><p>"It's a good job she doesn't know how the message system works, or she'd have tried to speak to you all individually." The female stepped towards him, and raised an eyebrow,</p><p>"Azriel."</p><p>"I'm fine, I was just, indisposed."</p><p>"That's a funny way of saying imprisoned by your asshole brother."</p><p>"It doesn't matter, you're here to tell me what everyone else could not."</p><p>"Keir has no idea that there's even been whisperings of rebellion in the mountains, if he had, you'd have the Darkbringers to contend with as well. As for where these 'rebels' might have gone, I'm afraid I have nothing, although it would be worthwhile to call reports from Hybern and the continent, perhaps they have gone there, or another Court."</p><p>"They're very unlikely to be at another Court, Helion would never allow it, nor would Thesan, Tarquin or Kallias, Beron might, but he sees Illyrians as lesser faeries, so I doubt it, and not even Tamlin is stupid enough to get involved in a war against us. Rhys is still mad at him for everything he did to Feyre, I don't think even she would be able to stop him if Tamlin ended up on the other side of a battlefield. But I will ask."</p><p>"You seem stressed."</p><p>"Oh really? What a surprise."</p><p>"You know what I mean. More than I would have expected, doesn't have anything to do with the priestess does it?"</p><p>"Don't you get involved too," Azriel groaned, "I already have Cassian grinning at me every time she and I are in the same room, and Rhys has caught on now, so Cauldron spare me if they get a chance to talk to her about whatever is between us."</p><p>"Can we expect to meet her at some point? I heard she helped you escape,"</p><p>"Helped is an understatement, she saved my life. Anyone she wants to meet will be up to her, but she may need to help me if this war kicks off like I'm expecting." Azriel tried to ignore the knowing smile, "I'm serious, Madelyn, don't get involved." Maddy snorted at his tone,</p><p>"Oh dear gods, you sound my father when I got home after my curfew." Azriel stiffened at the mention of Maddy's father, "Oh, stop it, go back to worrying about your girlfriend, and leave my miserable childhood out of it, although I must admit, it would be amusing to see his reaction to my life now, seventy-five, no husband, no children, I mean," she absentmindedly rubbed the ring on her left hand, "I suppose he ought to be pleased that I <em>am</em> married." Azriel smiled, </p><p>"Tell Josie I said hello, will you? And look after yourselves until I figure out exactly what our next move is." Maddy nodded, and waved before winnowing away. Azriel sighed as he noted the sun's position, just one more meeting, then he could get home.</p><p>*****</p><p>Gwyn closed her book with a sigh, the silence around her was broken only by her own breaths, and the sound of Azriel's shadows rootling through the bookshelves. She laughed out loud when they found a book and floated it across the air, dropping it into her lap before retreating to her shoulders to watch her read the title. Gwyn could have sworn that she sensed some sort of satisfaction, and amusement, but it wasn't fae, wasn't quite sentient either, it just sort of existed, a whisper next to her ear, but she couldn't quite make out the words,</p><p>"Is that you?" She demanded, reaching out for the shadows, and chuckled when they all shot for her left hand, "You remember that, huh? Don't scare me like that."</p><p>
  <em>Or what? </em>
</p><p>Gwyn started at the distinct whisper, barely audible, but smirked at the offending shadow,</p><p>"Or I'll tell Azriel on you." She said, opening the book they'd brought her, ignoring the offended gasps from the shadows, at least until they took the book away from her, "Hey! I liked that book!" She couldn't make out their response, but from what she knew of them, it was probably for the best. She was still trying to get the book back when the front door opened, although she only noticed when Rhys called her name,</p><p>"Gwyn," he chuckled when she grabbed onto the book, immediately losing it as she lost concentration,</p><p>"That was your fault!"</p><p>"I'm sure, I thought you might like to meet Altheia, since you're here," Gwyn smiled softly at the Illyrian female stood behind Rhys, and her face lit up into a grin the moment Gwyn met her eyes. Gwyn had never met her before, but there was something familiar in her eyes, her smile,</p><p>"Just Theia, please, you're just as bad as the other two, Rhysie," Gwyn snorted at the nickname, and Theia smiled again, shoving Rhys out of the way, "I hear you've been looking after my Azzy, thank you." <em>Her</em> Azzy? Gwyn struggled for words, but Theia continued, "You're even more beautiful than his letters said."</p><p>"You're his Mom?" Theia nodded, and grinned,</p><p>"He wouldn't tell me much, but Rhysie mentioned a few things when he came to fetch me, apparently it's not safe any more, so thank you for looking after him, Cauldron knows he needs it sometimes."</p><p>"You're telling me," Gwyn muttered, and laughed when Theia collapsed into an armchair, twisting her wings carefully to avoiding sitting on them, "it's like he's <em>trying</em> to get himself killed sometimes."</p><p>"No matter what you or I say, he'll still be the idiot he's always been. Rhysie says that you've been training with Azzy and Cass, you revived the Valkyries?"</p><p>"Yes, and Nesta, Feyre's sister, Cassian's mate, she and Cass have moved down here as well, so I'm sure you'll meet her soon, and Emerie, from Windhaven. Nesta began training first, then she got us to join her, and we're starting to try to rebuild a proper Valkyrie unit. We're by no means experts, but we've done as much research as possible, and Cass actually fought alongside them! He's been helping us to replicate old Valkyrie training as best as possible, and Az has been teaching me how to move and fight silently, and-" Gwyn broke off as a book landed in her lap, the same book that the shadows had stolen earlier, "And these pains in the ass have adopted me." She froze as she realized that she'd been rambling, "Sorry, I talk a lot when I'm nervous,"</p><p>"You have no reason to be nervous, I'm thrilled to finally meet you. It's not every female that will will really <em>see </em>my son, and not be frightened off, I don't think he could frighten you off, I think you see beneath the frightening front he puts on."</p><p>"It's difficult not to when you've seen him in the morning. A while ago, there was some magic with the library that went wrong and attacked me, and he slept in a chair next to me all night. When I woke up in the morning, he was still there, and gods, his hair was ridiculous, I don't know what he did to deal with it, 'cause I failed miserably!" Theia nodded, and chuckled,</p><p>"You should see it every time he comes to visit me, even after he's tried to tidy it from the flight, it's always messy."</p><p>*****</p><p>Azriel sighed as he trudged up the steps to the River House, desperate to bathe and check that everyone was still alive, especially Gwyn. He froze when he heard her laugh floating down the corridor, and another's, that wasn't possible, she wasn't here. Azriel followed the sound, and almost laughed with joy at the sight of his mother sitting across from Gwyn, laughing about anything and everything, </p><p>"Hi, Mom."</p><p>"Azzy!" Theia shot to her feet, immediately throwing her arms around him, and tutted at the sight of his hair, trying to flatten it back down,</p><p>"Mom! I've been flying, it's fine." Gwyn just giggled,</p><p>"Dreadful, isn't he?"</p><p>"You just wait, sweetheart," wait for what? What were they planning? "Oh don't look so frightened, Azzy, we don't have any evil master plans. Yet," she added, grinning at Gwyn, but made to leave them to talk, lingering long enough to see Azriel pull Gwyn to her feet and embrace her,</p><p>"Nothing helpful." He muttered, letting out a sigh,</p><p>"At least we know where to start looking, there can't be any immediate threat, right?"</p><p>"Probably not, but it would be just my luck that there's a sneak attack on the city while i'm not here to watch your back." Gwyn pulled back just enough to meet his eyes, </p><p>"How would they manage that? In case you didn't notice, Rhys is in the city, those wards are not breaking."</p><p>"I know, I know, I just worry." Azriel's head snapped back to the door when Rhys appeared there, Cassian and Nesta on his heels,</p><p>"What is the big deal, Rhysand?" Nesta snapped, "We were about to go to bed, there'd better be a good reason you're keeping me from sleeping."</p><p>"Oh, there is. The mortal queens have declared war on the  Night Court."</p>
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<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rhys' words hit him like a ton of bricks, and Azriel couldn't help the fear that flashed through him at the thought of another war, a war in which Gwyn would insist she get involved in. He tugged her against him, and she wound her arms around his waist,</p><p>"We'll have to involve the Darkbringers," Feyre almost-whispered, and Rhys narrowed his eyes,</p><p>"I don't like it, and I don't trust them."</p><p>"None of us do." Feyre muttered, "But with the queens involved as well, we'll need the numbers,"</p><p>"I know, but I still don't like it."</p><p>"Which queens?" Azriel asked, eyes darting around the room, despite knowing that it was secure, that Velaris, at least, was safe.</p><p>"All of them. It seems that they're angry about Briallyn's death, or power hungry more likely, power-hungry with an excuse, and a way in thanks to the Illyrians." Cassian furrowed his brows at Rhys' words, and started to try to come up with something that they could do, but Rhys just shook his head slowly, "Let's do this in the morning, when we can all think properly, and can actually make plans." Azriel nodded, and kept an arm around Gwyn as he led her out of the room, bidding his mother goodnight as they passed her. </p><p>He dropped onto the bed as soon as he reached it, and rubbed his temples, willing the oncoming headache to go away. He sighed as Gwyn's hands fell onto his shoulders, moving slowly, easing the soreness and tightness in his muscles. She rolled his head from side to side, and Azriel found himself relaxing into her touch, his eyes dropping closed as she worked in silence. Every thought became less overwhelming, less urgent, and he was able to quickly eliminate some of them, the less helpful ones, and slowly worked through his potential plans, what needed to be done first, and what could be done later. With each stroke of Gwyn's fingers, he pushed away the automatic panic at the prospect of another war, the human queens did not have strong armies, and with the Illyrian rebels most likely on the continent, they had time to prepare, to plan.</p><p>He wasn't sure when Gwyn had pulled his jacket away, or when she had found his sleeping clothes to place beside him for when he wanted them. She'd began humming softly, then singing, just quietly enough that he couldn't make out the words, but she was there, that was all that mattered. Azriel leaned back to meet her gaze, and smiled up at her,</p><p>"Thank you."</p><p>"I know what's going through your mind right now, anything I can help with, I will." Azriel smiled again, and slipped into the bathroom to give her space to change for bed. He held her close all night, his arms and wings wrapped around her, shielding her from the world.</p><p>*****</p><p>Azriel was calmer than Gwyn had expected, he'd been tense again when they'd woken this morning, but talking through plans and information with the others had helped. Gwyn didn't pretend to know all the nuances of war, but she understood everything that had been said, even if she would never have thought of it herself. With plans set, Azriel seemed more grounded, less worrisome, at least, he appeared that way, and from the occasional murmurs from his shadows, Gwyn believed it.</p><p>Rhys and Feyre were at training that morning, not at the House of Wind, no, they'd taken to training at the River House, with even Elain showing up to learn what she could. Gwyn had made a point of helping Cassian to walk her through the basics, and Elain had beamed when Gwyn offered to help her practice. Still, she kept half an eye on Azriel the whole time, it would only take one wrong move for him to re-injure himself, even less for Cassian, but so long as he was helping Elain, he wasn't at risk. Elain raised a hand to ask for a break, and Cassian started to explain how she could make things easier by moving differently, more fluidly. Gwyn glanced around the room, Feyre and Nesta, Rhys and Azriel, Emerie practicing her swings with a target, and Azriel's mother watching carefully, not with the eye of someone in awe, but the clinical assessment of a female well-versed in such matters. Gwyn had never considered that perhaps she could fight, although it would have been foolish for Azriel not to teach her, and she stepped in to offer a suggestion to Emerie about her wings. Brace or no brace, Emerie's balance was still occasionally thrown off. With Theia's advice, perhaps she could progress out of the brace faster, as soon as she could get rid of it, the better, especially if she might be attacked during a war. Still, it was odd that she'd worn it for sword practice, at least it was until she rolled to the side and retrieved a bow from the ground, sending an arrow slamming into the bullseye on the target across the room.</p><p>The door flew open, and Gwyn offered a smile at the tiny female who practically strutted through the doorway, and at the towering male behind her. She'd barely spoken to either of them, but Amren had the same air of confidence as Merrill, she was used to being feared, but for some reason, courage or stupidity she didn't know, Gwyn had never been able to be afraid of such people. Amren locked her gaze on Gwyn, but she just raised her chin and stared her straight in the eyes, Amren held her gaze for a moment, then a corner of her mouth curved up into a smile, and she nodded in approval.</p><p>Gwyn lost concentration when Azriel grunted, and she shot a glare at Rhys, High Lord or no, she'd kill him if he'd hurt Azriel, and noted with no small sense of satisfaction that Theia was staring at Rhys with a similar threat in her eyes. But Rhys just grinned, and Azriel rubbed his shoulder, nowhere near a recent injury. She nodded to Rhys, but narrowed her eyes, making the threat clear, and he threw his hands up,</p><p>
  <em>I'd never hurt him properly, Gwyn.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Just making sure.</em>
</p><p>She grinned before turning back to Elain, who nodded, and raised her fists again. No matter that Cassian had just taught her this, her stance was all wrong, she wasn't meant for this kind of thing. Elain wasn't a fighter, but Gwyn would be willing to bet that she would be excellent at brokering alliances and deals with nobility, she had a disarming grace about her, if she learned to use it, she could be truly deadly. </p><p>Gwyn lost track of time until Cassian called for another halt, but not for a break, this time, he had to go and get ready to go to the Hewn City, with Rhys, Feyre, Nesta and Azriel. Gwyn hadn't mentioned anything that morning, but she couldn't bear the thought of Azriel anywhere remotely like his father's keep without her. She knew how horrible the Hewn City was, but she was going, she'd at least throw Keir off guard, a new playing piece.</p><p>"Az!" She shouted, just before he and Rhys left, "About the Hewn City-"</p><p>"You want to come, don't you?"</p><p>"Yes. I can't let you go without me."</p><p>"Okay. But you have to understand what it's like there, females are looked down on, they don't respect priestesses, except for marriages, every male in there will look at you in the worst way possible, I don't want to expose you to that unless you're really ready." Gwyn steadied herself,</p><p>"I know. But I can't let you go on your own, besides, they won't know who I am, I'm a new piece on the board, they'll be wondering who I am, what I can do, and they'll be more inclined to make mistakes when it comes to negotiating. We have to play the game, I can help Rhys and Feyre do that, even if only by adding an unknown." Azriel nodded slowly, and squeezed her hands,</p><p>"I just wanted you to really understand it, I would never stop you from coming."</p><p>Before she knew it, she was pressed against Azriel's chest as they flew for the city in the mountains. She knew that Feyre always wore the most scandalous dress she could, and that Nesta's neckline was beyond daring, even if she wore full skirts, but Gwyn couldn't face that, not in an unknown environment. She'd borrowed one Mor's dresses in her absence, jet black, and possibly the least revealing thing the blonde female owned, and it still pushed at Gwyn's comfort zone, sitting just this side of uncomfortable for her. It wasn't conservative by any standards, but the slit in the skirts only came to a little above her knee, and the neckline barely dipped below the hollow of her throat. The daring nature of this dress was the way the back of the dress left almost the entirety of her back uncovered, and the way the sleeves fell off her shoulders. With her hair twisted into an elaborate knot atop her head, her neck was entirely exposed. Since this was a proper court meeting, she had allowed Feyre to help her dust rouge across her cheekbones, and darken her lashes. Feyre had painted her lips a deep red, and had dusted silver sparkles across her eyelids, Gwyn had made sure to wear Azriel's earrings, keeping a part of him beside her, even when he couldn't be next to her the whole time.</p><p>Shadows lingered around Gwyn's feet when Azriel set her down, leaving her to walk ahead with Nesta while he and Cassian settled into their roles, reminding the Hewn City's inhabitants of exactly the power wielded by every member of the Inner Circle, well, almost every member. Gwyn glanced down at her hands, and cursed her own lack of power, but that wasn't why she was here. She could already feel the inquisitive, and sometimes downright predatory gazes of the males boring into her, but she kept her back straight and kept walking, no-one knew about the dagger strapped to her thigh beneath the dress, and if this went well, no-one would have to know. </p><p>Azriel had suspected that they might go to the Throne Room first, but it seemed that their message had already been received, so Gwyn found herself following Nesta to a council room. There was already a blond male, Keir, seated at the head of the table, who shot to his feet at a single look from Rhys, pulling a second chair to sit beside the one already there. Despite his obvious fear, he didn't bother trying to hides his disdain for Feyre and Nesta, or his blatant interest in Gwyn, she tried not to squirm under his gaze, instead turning to face him,</p><p>"See something you like?" He blinked, and glared at her, not bothering to reply, but she'd rattled him, set him on uneven footing. She settled into a seat beside Nesta, leaving Keir to sit between the two Illyrians, trying, and failing, to hide his discomfort.</p><p>"What is the purpose of this meeting, Rhysand?"</p><p>"I have need of your Darkbringers."</p><p>"Oh you do, do you?" Rhys inclined his head, "And what, I must ask, do you need them for?"</p><p>"Fighting." Keir narrowed his eyes, "Against the mortal queens."</p><p>"Humans?" Keir glanced around the room, trying to discern if Rhys was lying, and his gaze again landed on Gwyn, she had to resist curling her lip in disgust, the male was married! But she smiled again, showing her teeth, </p><p>"Easy, right? Especially for a male of your caliber. I'm led to believe that your forces are second only to the Illyrians." she said, and Keir's eyes widened in anger,</p><p>"Second!" He spat, "You think these overgrown bats are better than my own forces?" Gwyn just chuckled, </p><p>"By all means, prove me wrong," Nesta subtly nudged her foot in approval, and Gwyn stared expectantly at Keir,</p><p>"How many do you need?"</p><p>"Mobilize them all, and we'll go from there when we have more extensive intel on their numbers." Keir nodded, and agreed, shooting a glare in Gwyn's direction, a glare that darkened when he dragged his gaze across her bare collarbone, freezing as Azriel's hand clamped down on his own,</p><p>"You of all people should know how to treat a lady, Keir." He snarled, and Gwyn straightened,</p><p>"Now, Azriel, we can't all be refined and decent. There have to be some assholes, or the rest of us wouldn't look so perfect, would we?" She chuckled at Keir's shock at her vulgar language, almost grimacing when Keir ran his gaze across her once more, but that was enough for Azriel to flip him backwards over his chair,</p><p>"What did I just say?" He snarled, but released him at Gwyn's pointed cough, and allowed him to stand up, "Just give me an excuse, Keir." He whispered before the steward retreated out of the room. Gwyn shot Azriel a look, but he just shrugged, and sat back down, waiting for Rhys to decide if they needed anything more to be done before rising, and waiting for Azriel and Cassian to clear a path of courtiers for them to leave, hopefully without incident.</p><p>Gwyn was the last to leave, letting Nesta out first, but leapt backwards when the door slammed shut in her face. She heard Nesta pounding on the door from the other side, but it wouldn't open, and Gwyn pivoted as a sense told her that someone was there. She narrowed her eyes at the male stood behind her, </p><p>"What?" She snapped,</p><p>"What's a pretty girl like you doing on your own?"</p><p>"I think we both know that you engineered this situation, so let's cut the crap, and get on with it."</p><p>"Who are you?"</p><p>"My name is Gwyneth."</p><p>"Not really the answer I'm looking for, <em>Gwyneth.</em> Who are you? Why did the High Lord bring you here?"</p><p>"Wouldn't you like to know?" Gwyn hummed, stepping to the side when he reached for her, for some reason, her mind was clear, "Tick tock, that door will open in moments, and I'm sure our Spymaster will be thrilled to find out who you're working for and why they, Keir is it? Why Keir attacked a member of the High Lord's Inner Circle." The male paled, and backed away, just one step,</p><p>"They won't know what to do when that door opens, when the High Lord's new, whatever you are, is dead." He lunged for her again, but Gwyn ducked his attack, plunging her dagger into his thigh, and dragging it down. "Bitch!" He hissed, and fell on his ass right as the door flew open, night-flecked power rippling through the air.</p><p>
  <em>Are you alright?</em>
</p><p>Gwyn blinked in surprise at Rhys' silent question, and offered him a tiny nod,</p><p>
  <em>Fine, but you might have a slight problem here.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>We'll see about that.</em>
</p><p>Azriel hauled the male to his feet, no compassion in his eyes, and Gwyn smoothed her dress down, she'd even managed to the keep the blood from spraying onto it, only staining the smooth marble floor,</p><p>"I know him, he's one of Keir's." Azriel said, and Rhys summoned a guard dressed in Hewn City uniform,</p><p>"Throw him in the dungeon, and make sure Keir doesn't let him out."</p><p>"Of course My Lord." She bowed as she spoke, but nudged Gwyn with an elbow, "Not bad, princess." Azriel rolled his eyes, and shoved the male towards her,  jerking his head sideways, urging her to get on with it,</p><p>"While you're at it, leave a little warning for Keir." The guard grinned,</p><p>"It would be my pleasure." She said, slipping out of the room on silent feet.</p><p>*****</p><p>Gwyn hardly seemed fazed, but Azriel was still cursing himself for letting her get in that situation when they took off,</p><p>"That guard, did you know her?" Gwyn asked, just loud enough for Azriel to hear over the roar of the wind picking up around them,</p><p>"Yes. She's-" Azriel lifted Gwyn closer so that he could be sure that no-one else could hear, "She's one of my spies, and she's been dying to meet you."</p><p>"To meet me?"</p><p>"Oh yes, they've all been teasing me mercilessly."</p><p>"You told them about me?" She flushed slightly, but he chuckled,</p><p>"No. They're spies, they know things, that's their job." </p><p>"Can I meet them?"</p><p>"Of course. But don't feel the need to oblige Maddy, she's just a nosy little shit, you know." Gwyn laughed, and clung on tighter as the wind ripped at her, despite Azriel's best attempts to block it. She laughed and tipped her head back, filling her lungs with the cool mountain air, and laughing as it pulled her hair out of the braid it had been in, whipping around her face. </p><p>"Now we're twins." She laughed, "Your mother will probably tell us both off when we get back." Azriel opened his mouth to speak, but Gwyn continued, "I can see where you got your singing from, she's got a perfect voice, even when she's just speaking, she hasn't actually sung in my earshot, it's like yours."</p><p>"Don't let her hear you say that, I'll never live it down, 'the warrior with the voice of an angel'," he laughed as he imitated his mother, "Mother above, she teases me enough already, I don't need you adding fuel to the fire."</p><p>"You just wait." Gwyn chuckled, "I already have centuries worth of ammunition." Azriel groaned, but couldn't help planting a kiss on the top of her head. He made to speak again, but the words died on his tongue, they would mean something more, something that Gwyn might not be ready for, he would wait, he could wait a little longer to say what he really wanted to.</p><p>*****</p><p>Gwyn left Azriel finishing off reading a few new reports from his spies, but only after he'd promised to tell her about them after she got back. Nesta was alone in her room when Gwyn arrived, and she heaved a sigh of relief that she didn't have to find a way to get rid of Cassian.</p><p>"Can I talk to you?" She asked, then changed her mind, then stepped through the door, "It's about Azriel."</p><p>"Oh?"</p><p>"Not like that. Shut up." Nesta giggled to herself, but she did shut up and let Gwyn finish, "How did you know that Cassian was the one?"</p><p>"I don't know, it just sort of happened, even before the mating bond, he just sort of weaseled his way into my life, the prick, got in the way of all my bullshit. I just knew. Then I gave him a biscuit, and that was that. I know that's not particularly helpful, though."</p><p>"No, no, it is, I'm just scared I guess."</p><p>"Scared of?"</p><p>"What Azriel and I are becoming, I want him so much, yes occasionally like that," she chuckled at Nesta's raised eyebrow, "And sometimes he pulls back, for my benefit mostly, and I don't know how to tell him not to, that I think," she took a deep breath, "I think I've fallen in love with him."</p>
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